Can you stop biting the hand that feeds you?

snapping back at the powers that be - biting the hand that feeds
@bounce58 (17451)
Canada
June 20, 2011 12:29pm CST
I work in a small company, with a small office. Often times stresses at work get to us, and we snap at the people at work. I would like to tell you about this lady that I work with. She came from Serbia, and she is well educated. She has a masters degree in Chemical Engineering, but is currently doing other things in our company. Us, being very small, we often have to do other stuff as well. I think she is hating her job, and the her value to the company, that she's become rude to all the people around. Even to the owners of the company. A couple of the owners also work for the company doing admin jobs. One of the lady owners, who does the accounting is not so familiar with the business were in. She's great in accounting, but just not the technical stuff that we do. This has caused Ms. Masters degree to be impatient with her. She often snaps at the owner! And I don't understand why the owner just lets her do it. Anyway, have you ever seen this kind of situation? Or have you ever bitten that hand that fed you?
3 people like this
14 responses
@Jessi_T (380)
• United States
20 Jun 11
Maybe the owner just lets her do it because she is qualified to do her job and do it well and if the owner fired her it would be hard to replace her. I know that might sound crazy but finding help especially help that is qualified is hard and sometimes owners just have to bite their tongues and accept a little disrespect to get the work they need done. I can't say I ever bit the hand that fed me, at least not the way you describe.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
24 Jun 11
You're absolutely right Jessi T! The owners of the company are accountants. They bought this company after their audit and when they saw the potential. They have been learning, but mostly they are dependent on the people here. That's why the owners just let her be. Although sometimes, she gets away with murder. Thanks.
@JenInTN (27547)
• United States
22 Jun 11
It's tough to work with someone that is not happy to be there in the first place. I work with some pretty negative people, but for the most part, it's not constant. I think that sometimes people bring their problems from home to work too. It is almost impossible to never do so. If she is that unhappy, it won't be long before she moves on.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 11
I wonder why the owner puts up with it though... it could be that help is hard to find... especially ones with the qualifications of Ms. Masters Degree.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
27 Jun 11
I think that's where the problem lies. When people can't separate work from home. And problems at home are brought to the workplace. And vice versa for that matter. I guess it doesn't help if she's unhappy at where she is. Thanks Jen! Thanks PQ!
• United States
21 Jun 11
Well, I guess that I have done it, although not often and not exactly in the way that you described. I have yelled at my boss before, but I felt that it was justified. He said something to me that I did not think was right, so I stood my ground and gave it right back. We got a little loud, but not really a screaming match or anything. By the end, we both understood what the other was saying and had worked it out. The conversation ended by him saying "Are you done now?". I replied, "Yup. Coffee?" He said, "Of course" and we went to get coffee.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
27 Jun 11
I love that! I love to see people at work get passionate about what they do. And know that inspite of all the emotional outburst, it's just work. And that they could move from that and proceed with their relationship as normal. Thanks PA!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 11
Thank you for the compliment. Yes, we did get passionate about our work, because we both liked our jobs and the work that we were doing was important. He was a really great boss, though, and also a really great guy. Our personalities were quite similar, and he could be totally serious and very into the job one minute but as soon as the job was done he would say something smart butt that would have us all laughing or do something goofy or something like that.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
20 Jun 11
I think that she is one lucky lady not to have been fired. And for snapping at one of the owners - my mind boggles. I am too scared to even think of snapping or even answering my boss back in a polite manner. He would go crazy and I would be out of a job. It would be instant dismissal. Nope! I have never bitten the hand that feeds me.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
24 Jun 11
Hi cynthiann. The owners were accountants. I guess they bought the company when they saw the potential. Being new in the industry we were in, they pretty much let all of the people in the office run the show. Ms. Masters-degree has just gotten so used to having a free reign. Sometimes, she just crosses the line though. Thanks.
@hdc4free (262)
• United States
20 Jun 11
Ah yes there is a person I work with that is the same way, she seems to be an unhappy person in general and she is always getting mad and often rude to the owners. He sort of laughs it off but it is very irritating and she often gets mad at other people because of her OWN mistakes. It's crazy! I don't know if the boss has thought of firing her, she has worked here a very long time and it seems she feels comfortable talking however she likes even though it is rude. Very frustrating to listen to!
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
24 Jun 11
Hello hdc4free. I think that is already crossing the line. When she blames other people for her own mistakes. A little too much of that should be grounds for dismissal, even with whatever her worth is to the company. Thanks.
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
That was rather an interesting story you got there. Anyway, the owner must be willing to put up with your co-worker's attitude because he/ she is THAT desperate to have her on the payroll. Being that your co-worker is that qualified, the owner must have thought that it is worth it.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
Inspite of her attitude, this lady is actually good at her job. I think that's the only reason the owners put up with her. I bet if they could find somebody else that could do the same thing, without the attitude, little Ms. Masters-degree would be replaced immediately. Thanks!
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
Definitely. Our work quality can only takes us as much but it is our character or relationship with fellow co workers that determines our stability or length of service for that company. Eventually people will get fed up of her character and thus her stay there is just a matter of time.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
Yes, you're right. There is always someone younger, and better, and paid less who could do the job with a better attitude. Thanks again!
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
20 Jun 11
Hey my dear bro! I have worked for my own family which was worse than working for other peoples family! Working for "families" in general is usually not a good thing. As for this woman, she may be pushing her luck and will have no one to blame but herself. I have worked in more jobs with the most horrendous bosses, office managers and co-workers from "beyond hell" and I can tell you from my own experience that you sometimes have to bite your "own hand" first if you want to keep a job! And sometimes even that doesn't work. When you work in a small company there are times that you have to work different types of jobs and if you can't or won't then that place isn't fo you!
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
You are so right sis about biting my 'own hand' first. As you might know, I just moved to this company, and I haven't finished my probation period yet. So, however uncomfortable it gets sometimes, I just keep biting my own hand. Not rock the boat, just yet. Take care sis!
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Hey bro! Sounds like the "usual probabtion" feelings of not knowing what is to come! Don't worry, you'll do just fine. After all, you have your "favorite sis" routing for ya! Love ya, and take care!
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
Thanks sis! I hope you're having a great weekend.
• United States
25 Jun 11
Well, I've worked in a nursing home before where I had to do other jobs, because we were short of help. I've had to not only do my job as a nurse, but I've had to pass dinner trays and feed patients on other floors when we didn't have enough help. I've even been called into work to work in a different department.. I've been sent to the hospital to work which is also part of the building which the Nursing home is in. I've had to work in the ER when I am really a nursing home nurse... it can really get to you too when you don't feel comfortable with the situation. I've never jumped down anyone's throat though ... and I don't know how I would take it if someone did that to me.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
27 Jun 11
I guess it all depends on your disposition in life. When somebody is just happy to help, or just does things to get the job done, it isn't any problem. But sometimes, over a long period, it gets into people. Which changes their disposition to becoming b!tches. Thanks PQ!
@wongchoiyee (7466)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 11
You know what? This is life. For me, I will never bit the hand that feeds me even thinking about it makes me shake. I am not educated to high degree or masters but I think it should not be the way at work. I have seen many people like this and the employer just tolerate them. I wonder are the employer scared of them or somewhat begging them to stay from the way they treat those annoying people. I will never keep these people to work in my company. I like my staff to respect and help each other no matter what field they are in. Then the world will be nicer. Only once or twice I did answer back politely to my boss but after that I resigned because my pride was taken away by my action. Anyway, I am self employed at home.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
27 Jun 11
Hello wongchoiyee. I've worked in Asia, so I definitely know the difference between there and working here in North America. Whereas we are always respectful to our supervisors there, we are trained to speak your mind here. But, still this lady crosses the line, and that's what bugs me. Thanks.
@katsmeow1213 (28910)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I'm surprised she still has a job. Okay.. slightly unrelated.. but I want to share something that happened while I was at work last night. I was getting ready to mop.. and back by the mop bucket is a very small garbage can. I was throwing away the floor cleaner packet when I saw a note in the little trash can.. and my name was on the note. So I picked it out of the trash to read it, because I'm nosy. It was written by one of the college girls who works there. She's been away at school, but now that school is over she's opened up her availability. (she's also the one who's been giving me the cold shoulder, making me dread my shifts with her.. though as of last shift she was talking to me again.. and never said why she'd been angry at me) Anyways.. the note is to our manager, and it's basically saying she wants the manager to ask the owners of our store why she's not getting more hours than me and the other college girl who works here. She thinks she's worked more than the other girl, and is a better worker, and she said I was still "new" so should not be getting the hours. She then goes on to say that if she doesn't start getting more hours, she will quit. I don't know what to think of this. First I think it's extremely immature. I think the proper way to handle it would have just been to ask for more hours instead of pointing out why she thinks she's more deserving than some of her co-workers. Second, I can't help but to feel this is unfair. She was away at school.. and during that time I was getting 25 hours a week. Now because she's done at school she expects to steal my hours from me just because she's technically been employed there longer than I have? I've worked there for 5 months, and I'm a hard worker. I don't really feel as if I should be considered "new" anymore.. and I certainly don't deserve to lose hours through the summer just because she's in school. Anyways.. just felt like sharing that little story, LOL. Sorry it's slightly off topic.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
Oh! I'm glad that you shared this story (is there a discussion raised for this already?)! Yes I think it is immature! I refer to a discussion I posted some time back, about improving your own stock by pulling others down. I think that because she took some time off to focus on her studying, she should earn it all back by asking for it. And showing the owners that she deserve the hours again. Now, if there are only a limited number of hours to go by, then that's something that the owners/managers to decide. Depending on who works the hardest. I don't think one can be his/her own judge of how much a hardworker he or she is. Anyway, I hope this got all sorted out.
@SIMPLYD (90616)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
That lady Engineer is ungrateful by being such. But maybe, the owner just lets her because she knows her importance in the company and maybe they rely on her so much for all those high technicalities of the company. However, it shouldn't be an avenue for the lady engineer to be rude. But time will come, when the company will be fed up with such attitude of an employee.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
Yes, I know what you mean. Sooner or later, they will get fed up. And they will find somebody who could do the job she does, if not better. With a better attitude, and may even be paid less! When they find that person, then she'll be gone. Thanks.
• United States
20 Jun 11
I have seen this happen before, in a few companies I have worked for. While I can't understand why upper management tolerates it, as it is certainly unfair to all other employees. Sometimes people who do this is because they really do not enjoy their job, though not a legitimate reason they do it and continue to get away with it. Sad too, because there are many really hardworking others who walk on egg shells daily, because one odd gesture and it may get them fired. I have never bitten the hand the feeds me bounce as I have always valued my positions. I much rather leave on my own recognizance then become this type of person as the woman you mentioned.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
26 Jun 11
Funny you should mention about 'walking on eggshells', because it is exactly what I feel. I am with management, but I am new. I haven't completed my probation period yet so I try to work with everybody as much as possible. No need to rock the boat, just yet. Thanks HWG!
• United States
20 Jun 11
No. I'm only a b!tch to those who deserve it!
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
25 Jun 11
At least you have a reason to be so. Ms. Masters degree over here doesn't seem to have any. And I have to work with her. Oh fun!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164232)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jun 11
hi bounce not I but a coworker and good friend of mine was irritated our bipolar boss lady. Our boss had two styles, grouchy and loving and you never knew which one she was going to be in..She refused to take her medication at work. One day I was working straightening out some misplaced c.ds when Claire came over and started talking about the boss lady.She was going on about how Emily was acting like a bi polar person and surely needed to be on medications.She was speaking a little too loudly and I saw Emily approaching from behind us out of the corner of my eye. I tried to warn Claire non verbally but she did not get my nonberbal communication until it was too late. Claire had the common snese to get back over to the reference desk. Emily looked pissed off but went into her desk and I went back to shelving books again.The next morning bright and early Emily handed Claire a note, clarie was being transferred to another branch of the Orange County library sysem. immediately. Emily was not one to fool around and when she was in a grouch mood you stayed away from her. poor claire she had now a longer drive from her home to the other branch. I felt badly fo her but I knew we were too close to Emily for me to warn her out loud. We never knew when she would be on the warpath.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
25 Jun 11
Hi Hatley. I guess that's a case of stuffing one's foot inside one's own mouth! Sorry that Claire didn't look around first. Thanks for the response.