Who shoulld make the first move?

There are many ways of showing or doing the first move, it's not just through words, it's also through actions. One cannot really expect other people to watch their every move all the time - it is difficult for most, after all, we are not mind readers here. I for one would not be guilty if a friend is in need but doesn't show or tell me that something is wrong. I mean, why should it be my obligation to ask around if everyone's alright? I too have my life to live and I too have problems that I need to face. This is one thing when it comes to my brother. He shows me when he needs me and I know right-then-and-there that something is wrong. But there really are times when he doesn't show anything at all, neither does he say so when asked, this makes me frustrated. I mean, how on earth should I know that he/she is in need of support if he/she doesn't come to me? I think they'd consider it prying if I ask too much when in fact there's nothing really wrong. Therefore, I think the saying is true. But of course, there are other means of making the 'first move', it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to say it out loud. Have a great MyLot experience today!

hi chuyin, Did you mean you're supposed to make the first move? I just wonder. But those who have made the first move is adored and salute for the bravery.

I just wonder what language do you speak? Is it from your mother tongue, and is it a wise old saying that is from your culture? I simply don't get it. Can you explain it more in longer term?

A friend in need is a friend indeed! Lol! When my friends have some troubles, they need not tell me that. I can sense it and i come running to them to give them a shoulder to cry on. There was one friend i met about 4 years ago in our workplace. We weren't close then. One day she just suddenly burst into tears and left her student in the middle of the class. That time the head tutor was mad and didn't even bother to ask if she's going through any difficulties in life. Without hesitation though, I followed her, asked if she was okay and to my surprise she opened up her problem and that started our beautiful friendship. She's now working in Thailand and had her vacation last April. When we met she told me she could never forget how i lent my shoulders to her at that time that she needed one and we weren't even friends then!

helping somebody when a person is in need or understanding a person when nobody can makes your relationship stronger and malso makes you a better human being.

If people needs help then I don't think that you have to think twice before lending a hand. But sometimes, people tend to let their pride conquer them and that is where the conflict starts. All of us I believe came to a point where we needed help. And I guess we just have to let things happen. Making the first move is not a sin whether you are the one needing a help or vice versa.

Sometimes too much sensitivity could not be good for us. On our plain attempt at help, we sometimes end up aggravating the person's worries. Personally on this type of concern, I often weight things before deciding to "help out". Typically, I try not to concern other people as to my concerns..owe it to the fact that I am independent and perhaps too proud (just plain me, I guess) to involve others. I make it a point to solve my own problems and when others try (especially the ones I am not too fond of), I end up getting irritated to the person. That being said, I will not pry with other people's affairs when I personally don't want to be pried with on the first place. On the romantic note, taking the initiative is always been frowned upon in our country. Traditionally, it had always been the role of the "male species" to make/ take the first step.