Everybody trips and falls
By bounce58
@bounce58 (17380)
Canada
August 16, 2011 4:28pm CST
The other night, I was standing in a parking lot when there was this one kid who was goofing around, and was running, but tripped and fell. I think he was already about 8 or 9 years old, but I was surprised that after he went down, he stayed down and started crying. Not in a hurry, I started towards the kid, and called out asking if he was OK. Walking towards him, I told him to stand up. But before I could get to him, his mom running, reached him first, and I in-turn suffered the dagger-looks from her.
I think I was being blamed for not rushing to his son to help. My thinking is, ‘everybody trips and falls’, I don’t make a big deal about it. Even with my kids, and most especially not with my 5-year old son. If they fall down, I tell them to stand up, and to shake off whatever pain they are feeling. I don’t make a big fuss about it.
In my mind, I also think that I am teaching my kids something about life. That when they fall down, they don’t have to stay down and cry about it. They should stand up, and shake the pain off.
Would you agree? Would you teach your kids the same thing?
Would you know any other way of teaching this lesson to kids? Without them suffering the occasional scrapes and cuts?
Or should I have just made a big deal about that kid that fell on the parking lot?
2 people like this
10 responses
@somethingbig (282)
• United Arab Emirates
17 Aug 11
Sometimes we need to let our kids feel the consequences of their actions so that they will understand better why they are being scolded at times when they do foolish things.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
20 Aug 11
I know what you mean somethingbig!
As parents, we always look out for our children. We make sure that they stay the right path, and don't get hurt. But I think that they get a better appreciation for it if once in a while they feel the consequences.
Thanks.
@scjbxz (139)
• United States
17 Aug 11
I agree with your train of thought. If you make a big deal out of a small thing when a child is young, once they start growing up, they won't know how to handle the harder things in life. The thing is, I don't think most parents think of that because their children are the most precious thing in the world to them and they feel the need to protect them from everything. But there's a limit to when protection becomes over protection.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Personally the parent not telling her child to stand up and shake it off instead of throwing you dagger looks is not good at all. She should have told her child to just shake it all off and get up instead of babying them, as what will happen the next time the child falls if no one else is around? She cannot be expected to be there night and day all his life protecting him, so she should quit coddling him for sure.
@GardenGerty (169426)
• United States
17 Aug 11
Actually there have been studies that support what you are saying here. If you act like it is the end of the world every time you child gets a small injury, or has an accident, they do not do as well in life, or in school. They become fearful and self centered and seem to feel more hurt than the situations call for. If you address their accidents calmly and assure them that they will be okay, they generally are okay, and they are more okay with their lives as well. My first mother in law had one cure for every bump or bruise--she offered the grand kids a cold wet wash cloth. You know we had very few serious injuries in all the years we got together at her house.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
17 Aug 11
It's nice to know that there have been studies about this, because I am just going by logic. If all parents make a big deal everytime their kids fall down, then they wouldn't learn how to get up by themselves. And I think that applies in life-situations as well.
Thanks GG!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169426)
• United States
22 Aug 11
A tip I have learned in later years is that every first aid kit needs a red washcloth. If you are cleaning up an ouchie with a red wash cloth it does not look so scary because the blood does not show so much.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
17 Aug 11
I'm the same way, I would have told them to get up and shake it off. Unless I see them hit their heads, then I move a little faster. I think it's good for kids to learn to get up and shake it off. They need to learn how to handle it themselves if they can. I don't think the mother should have gave you mean looks though, her kid isn't your responsibility.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
18 Aug 11
Kids have to experience pain too, so they would know how to handle it. Like you, if I don't see them hit their head, I wouldn't rush.
It's funny you mention about the mean looks of the mom, as I know a few moms myself who think that their kids are everybody's responsibility.
Thanks.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
17 Aug 11
I'm with you Bounce. When my kids fall I give them a moment to get themselves together and get up on their own before I go rushing to their sides. It's different of course if they look like they've seriously injured themselves, but most falls result in bruises to the ego rather than the body.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
18 Aug 11
I think that moment is very important!
For us parents, to assess the severity of their fall. If they need immediate help or not, ect. And for the kids to collect themselves, and decide on their own that it was just a 'fall', and not the end of the world.
Thanks.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
17 Aug 11
I don't make big deals out of it either. I do try to tell the kids to be safe. If they're running on pavement I try to get them to stop and warn them they will fall and get hurt. I tell them they should run on grass. I just hate to see the kids falling and getting hurt, even if it is minor.
When they do fall I remind them they shouldn't have run on the pavement, then I tell them they are fine. I do not baby my kids ever.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
20 Aug 11
I also hate seeing kids falling and getting hurt, especially my own. And like you, I do not baby them. I may be feeling guilty, sad, angry, or discomfort when they scrap their arms and knees, but I try not to show them. It's a lesson that they have to learn, getting up from a fall.
Thanks.
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
18 Aug 11
I think you have the right attitude and that's an attitude I would adopt as well. We learn everything much better through first-hand experience, so when we fall and learn to get up by ourselves, this mindset will be ingrained in our minds, that every time we fall, we may take some time, to cry, or even to summon up energy, but eventually, we will get back up again. If parents do rush to our aid everytime, we tend to rely on them and will not learn at all.
Some parents do dote on their kids too much and think that by helping them immediately, they are showing love for their kids. I think it is just the opposite. By not letting them learn by themselves, the kids are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to become stronger and more independent. Just my two cents' worth.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
21 Aug 11
I think it too!
That first hand experience is a better teacher than hundreds of verbal warnings. Although as parents we show love to our children by being always there, we would actually show a more meaningful love if we don't dote on them, and let them learn on their own.
Thanks.
