i should see them.for the last time

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Hello Lotters, I was browsing a lot of post lately. this is probably something long for me to share. A few days ago I rant about old college friends inviting me for a last reunion, i was literally whining about it. though i know how they back stabbed me but i guess i should have forgiven them, even if they didn't know about it. Guess, i've acted selfish in bitter lately in that topic. I just don't want them to see my failure and ask more questions. but lately i've been given much of a thought after seeing a few post. for one, reminded me of how afraid I was to leave the house because i was afraid of facing criticism; second, was an old post made by sparksofinsanity three years ago about a lotter who was oncer popular that died young. I saw that discussion three years ago but i didn't respond for some reason (in my diff.account then). some of them were in mourning even though they never met her. I feel bad because i forgot how short life is.who knows what might happen to those college friends of mine, as it was them that made my first time for me to have a group friend. we were even called F4+1. but now it's just the four of us whos going to meet, and i may never see her again. My friend was right friends are friends even if they treat me differently, they didn't really think of me as a problem solver but i guess it was the right thing for them to do so. or otherwise my life could have been complicated my studies were more important then. Maybe it was necessary because i fell for this girl back then. but she went with our other friend, but that "other friend" betrayed us when he cheated on her. even though he's still in my friends list i can see evidence of his cheat. But alright, for old time sake I'll see them one last time.. then i go back to that lone path again.