Why is it...?
By ElicBxn
@ElicBxn (64169)
United States
September 21, 2011 2:55am CST
I just saw a discussion that got me thinking about why some people do a certain thing.
Now, I am going to say that I know at LEAST one person like this, but I'm not "friends" with her, but rather friends of mine are friends of her's.
Okay, so the question...
Why is it that when something happens to someone, something they think is WONDERFUL, they think EVERYONE around them should do the same thing?
For example, when she got married, she was like "oh, this is so wonderful, you should do it!"
And when she got pregnant... same thing...
This is in SPITE of the fact that her pregnancy had her sick a good bit of the time and, as it turned out, her marriage didn't last either.
Now, I will say that if people want to do it, great, but don't go thinking its the right thing for everyone else.
So, do you know anyone like this? Doesn't have to be marriage or pregnancy, could be just shacking up or even a food choice.
No, I never will like raw celery - thanks anyway, and I just don't like the taste of nuts or grapefruit juice...
6 people like this
21 responses
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
22 Sep 11
I have an idea that kind of behaviour is a young person's thing, or at least immature people that do this. I'm in my 50's and none of my frieds or aqaintances suggest I do something that they do.
I suspect people who do this are trying to validate their own behaviour, or get confirmation that it is good. Not that there is anything bad about getting married or getting pregnant. It could be just a lack of confidence.
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
22 Sep 11
That is how it strikes me as well. It is a pretty immature behavior.
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
22 Sep 11
I don't understand that sort of mentality either when people or friends automatically assume that because they are happy with a certain life style or choice that everyone else will be happy and should do the same thing and make the same choices as they did
I have never assumed that everyone will be happy doing the same things I do, though I do share my happiness with family and friends also if that friend or relative inquires further on a choice I made I will tell the person or friend more and maybe suggest they give it a try
But I don't try and force my lifestyle choices on other people, or look down on them if they choose another kind of lifestyle friend or not, because I understand that what makes me happy may might not work for someone else the same, I know and respect that every persons different, and it annoys me when people do that to me.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
22 Sep 11
I think hardworkinggurl may have solved it, saying that she was trying to sell it - and I think that's because she was trying to sell herself on the idea...
I honestly know that most people can't do what I find makes me happiest, so I don't even bother.
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
22 Sep 11
I think the person in your discussion is just happy &, wanting to share her great fortune (well, she thinks it's great), passes on her good wishes to those for whom she cares, that's all.
A priest I used to know advised me to always assume the best motives (until it's plain the other person makes evil intent obvious) of another person, because if one doesn't, one may become crazy with bitterness & fear. (My experience has proven him correct.)
IOW, be charitable. It seems likely to me she has good intentions. So if she doesn't intend evil, then just tell her, "I'm glad you're happy, but it's not my path. Thanks for sharing your joy."
You'll both fare better if you keep this attitude.
Maggiepie
"There are two ways to enslave a country. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." ~ John Adams
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
22 Sep 11
Elic said: "I never thought of evil intentions,"
Well you certainly sounded bothered!
"...but back off already! How many times do you HAVE to say "no" before they get the message?"
I believe the number you're looking for is "70 times 7." If, after that, one does one's best to avoid a person, & that includes getting them out of your mind. Remember what that Chine monk said, "I sat the woman down at the river. You still carry her!"
She continued: "Yes, those are the people I was talking about, but I NEVER name living people because they could "search" their names & maybe find it..."
So what? Why do you care? You haven't seen (or liked) them for years! I don't know why you'd even think about the woman's behavior NOW; surely she hasn't bothered you recently?
Maggiepie
"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now." ~ Bob Monkhouse, comedian 1928-2003
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Sep 11
I always heard misery loves company, lol. I wouldn't wish for some of the things i have lived through on anyone especially friends.
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
22 Sep 11
We're not discussing Rick & Glenda, I hope! If not, what other suitor are you talking about??
(No need to worry either one will see his or her name HERE...trust me! 
)
Maggiepie
"There are two ways to enslave a country. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." ~ John Adams
)
Maggiepie
"There are two ways to enslave a country. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." ~ John Adams1 person likes this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
21 Sep 11
Or they have just joined the Divine Light Mission, or Amway, or Save the Whales, or ...... and it is all so fabulous and you really have to Join In (validate their intelligence/compassion/enthusiasm). It's all the same thing: what is good for me must be good for everyone.
People like this are as ego-centric as a gyroscope - I know, I've been one most of my life, although hopefully I've got over it at last.
Lash
1 person likes this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
22 Sep 11
Thank your lucky stars you didn't meet me during one of my manic phases, especially the ones where I found religion (of varying and utterly oppositional kinds). My opinions have changed but not the fact that I am right. LOL.
LOash
1 person likes this
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
hmm.. i think i have come across with that kind of people but i could not think of any concrete situation now but well i am not that easily bought i mean if i think this thing isn't good then i would not believe it directly i may try but before trying i would weigh things if it would really cause me good or bad specially when it entails a decision in life. we always have this choice if we would stick up with our principles in life.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
21 Sep 11
Its when they keep hammering on it that it gets really old. Like I said above, this person KEPT nagging until I tasted her "sweet" grapefruit juice. I don't care how SWEET it is, its nasty grapefruit! I decided in middle school that I didn't ever like the stuff so why did I keep eating it and told my mom that. Its great that she liked it, but I hated the taste.
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
22 Sep 11
Don't forget, though: taste buds change over time. I used to hate many things I now thoroughly enjoy! Coffee, grapefruit, Parmesan cheese, among others.
I try old things several years apart just to see if I now like them. I figure if I still hate it, I'll wait another 7 or 8 years, & try again. Who knows? If I find I do now enjoy something, hey...it varies my diet a bit more! And given how your allergies make your diet so limited (& to me, utterly boring), I'd think you'd brave the risk once in a blue moon on the off chance that you could add something new to your repertoire! As you're always quoting to me, "Hope springs eternal!"
But...whatever makes you happy. I just want you to get as much out of life as is possible. 
Maggiepie
"There are two ways to enslave a country. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." ~ John Adams
But...whatever makes you happy. I just want you to get as much out of life as is possible.
Maggiepie
"There are two ways to enslave a country. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." ~ John Adams1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
22 Sep 11
oh yea.the grown up version of the kids mothers told "if your friends jumped off a bridge.."
i've never been one for hive mentality.i prefer to make my own choices on things.
which is probably why i never got along with the preppie crews at school either.
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
22 Sep 11
Hi!
Yes, there have been a few people I know that do this and it is kind of tiring. I do not like Okra or Minestrone soup, yuk I say. Okra to me is slimy and the soup I had once right before I got the nasty ol' flu bug and well, need I say more. I've had people say, "oh, you should try it again, I'm SURE you'll like it now"...are you kidding me?
And the same goes for certain television programs..some I like and some I don't. Then they'll say, Oh I just love that program, you should watch it a few more times. 
What a crazy world, lol!
Yes, there have been a few people I know that do this and it is kind of tiring. I do not like Okra or Minestrone soup, yuk I say. Okra to me is slimy and the soup I had once right before I got the nasty ol' flu bug and well, need I say more. I've had people say, "oh, you should try it again, I'm SURE you'll like it now"...are you kidding me?
And the same goes for certain television programs..some I like and some I don't. Then they'll say, Oh I just love that program, you should watch it a few more times.
What a crazy world, lol!
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Sep 11
maybe its because they are in such joy they dont think how the same thing could be desasterous to other people. they want everyone to share the same happiness. i was the same when i met and married my John. 
raw celery. yuck
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
21 Sep 11
I think that people who sell their situations are just looking to make a group with things in common..lol. I know people who make changes in their life and then try to sell them to everyone else too. Sometimes things that are great for other people just aren't right for everyone else.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
21 Sep 11
I always figured they weren't too sure and so wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page as she was (or maybe if her friends were married then she wouldn't have to worry about having single girls around her newly married husband.
Oh, speaking of the husband - I had rejected him, I finally told her that I was thrilled they were getting married, I had turned him down (after the divorce she told me I had done the right thing in the first place - don't get people like that...)
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
I never say that to anyone , just so that they will imitate me. In fact, i don't want being imitated specially when it comes to clothes or belongings.
But as to food or a beautiful place i have seen, i would certainly tell them to try it too.
But as to food or a beautiful place i have seen, i would certainly tell them to try it too.
1 person likes this
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
21 Sep 11
Yes, I know of more than one such person. I don't understand why some people are like that.
1 person likes this
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
21 Sep 11
Yup precisely...I don't understand why some pp just can't put themselves in my shoes and consider whether I will be happy obliging them. Sigh...
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
22 Sep 11
I don't think I know anyone like this at this time. Except my young great niece who is about 18 and learning challenged. Come to think of it, the other people I know are adult disabled who want to get you all to do the same thing. They all want to do the same thing as well. I guess it speaks to their level of intelligence and understanding.
1 person likes this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
22 Sep 11
We just have to remember they are giddy with the first excitement and want to share. Everyone knows the excitement about whatever it is, will level off after awhile. And the only way to eat raw celery is with peanut butter or cheese spread all over it. LOL
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37062)
• United States
22 Sep 11
Yes there are people who are completely overwhelming when it comes to expressing their feeling and it almost sounds like a commercial to me when they insist one should also do it.
I can encourage but the instance I hear that no you don't like something, I figure oh well I tried and more for me. lol Kidding but yes I do know when to differentiate the difference between suggesting and over doing it when it comes to others and am not one to agree to all just because so and so said so.
As for celery, nuts and grapefruits, I love them all and no I won't be asking you if you want any.
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
22 Sep 11
I think people get caught up in the minute. Maybe what is going on for them is wonderful and they think others should do it too.
I know my girlfriend tries her hardest to turn me into Vegan. That will NEVER happen.
I cook most of my food anyway and know I am getting the right nutrition.
yea sometimes we have to wonder about people in our life.
Just smile and move on.
Then there will be no harm done.
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
21 Sep 11
But, you know, are the usual things, maybe at first we all a little envious when someone does something good or nice for him / her. Maybe it's a momentary excitement, it is far from clear that in the pursuit of life, all things come your way (and I quote exactly here the example of marriage).
We learn to live with ourselves and enjoy what we do in life positive !
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
21 Sep 11
But, you see, I never wanted to get married and this gal was telling me I should - like what? I'm going to grab the next single guy and get hitched? 
I think she just needed to learn that what she thought was good at the moment wasn't right for everyone... or maybe she just didn't want any single gals around her new husband (especially one he had asked before her...)
I think she just needed to learn that what she thought was good at the moment wasn't right for everyone... or maybe she just didn't want any single gals around her new husband (especially one he had asked before her...) @cowgirl03051979 (918)
• United States
22 Sep 11
well this is a good example of why you should not just follow the crowd or do what people tell you to do other people do not always know what is best for you only you do so only you should be making your own decisions effecting your life especially big decisions such as marriage and pregnancy i know most of the people i know (not neccessarly friends but aquaitences) are like this humans are herd animals whatever one of them does the rest have to do even if the one that started the stampede is running off the edge of a cliff
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
22 Sep 11
I honestly never was good a following the crowd.
I used to tell a little story. About how every year the head sheep led the rest to the barn for shearing. That I was like the one sheep who said: "this is dumb, I don't want to be sheared" and when they got to the gate, he turned away. And boy was he surprised when he turned around and found the rest of the sheep following him!
I would sometimes find people following me because they also didn't want to do what the leader of the bunch wanted...
