Were you ignored?
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
Valdosta, Georgia
January 26, 2012 12:32pm CST
Were your problems ignored when you were a child? Did you feel like they were less important than other things going on? To adults, children's problems seem like nothing but to the child their problems are big and they need to feel heard at times.
Did anyone push your problems off as "no big deal"?
3 people like this
14 responses
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jan 12
Hi Loving. Yes u felt that way. Dad worked to jobs and mon worked at night. I didn't get to do a lot of things. One summer I wanted to go to camp through school. It cost $35. My parents felt they didn't have any money to waste. I remember crying so bad. Then there was the county fair. I wanted to go and dad said he wouldn't go if it was across the street. It was always about my parents. Us kids never had a voice until we were grown.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Jan 12
I'm sorry pq. I know how that is. My parents neve had the money to take us places or they said they didnt anyway.
We were never really heard either, they always had other things going on.
I remember when my grandfather was in the hospital dying my siblings and I went to see him with our parents. My brother tickled me messing around and I accidentally kicked one of the machines. I ran out of the room crying thinking I hurt him! My dad said did he have a seisure? Is that why your crying? I said no and he let it go. So for years I thought I killed my Papa. If my dad pushed a little more I would have told him and I would have known it was not me that killed him.
That upset me until I was about 17 yrs old...
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jan 12
That is really sad that parents didn't expect or help to develop their children's voices. When I grew up children were to be seen but not heard. We were to be little adults and we had better act right and we shouldn't have to be told to do the chores in the house and outside... they really expected too much from us and didn't let us be children. I don't blame them... they didn't know any better.
Like when I wanted to go to the fair... dad didn't want to go so therefore I was not allowed to go. I did go with a neighbor and had so much fun and bought a 00 (double zero) sweatshirt.... later when i wore that shirt it seemed so fitting that I was nothing... more than nothing .. a double zero. I think in some way my childhood has shaped me into the person I am today... I learned how NOT to be through being raised. I loved my parents and they did their best, but I learned big time I would not treat my children that way. I only had one. I never spanked her and never belittled her... she turned out to be a great kid. She has her problems with bipolar.. but she was a great kid and a great woman now.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Jan 12
Im sorry Jill. With my siblings and I we just were not allowed to have an opinion at home. They always said children are meant to be seen not heard. That was really hard. =(
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
27 Jan 12
No and that is what makes my story tragic in a way.As a baby and a small child I was truly had my parent's attention. But when We Had to move and I was age 7 , I did not want to go. So from then on Anything bad that happened I thought was my punishment so syaing no And expressing my feelings. So I didn't tell my parents Why I hated school and why I would feel physically ill each first day. If I had , i would have been transferred . So no , the feelings I expressed were not ignored , I just never expressed them.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
28 Jan 12
I'm sorry you were afraid of your parents. I know you are breaking that cycle. Your kids are not afraid of you! My mom broke the cycle. Her childhood was worse than mine.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jan 12
Im sorry Sarah. I could never talk to my parents because I was too busy fearing them. They were not the kind of parents you could just go and talk to...
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
27 Jan 12
I was the middle child so a lot of the time I felt I was ignored. The older one was out and about testing the waters, so when it came to my turn to be out an about a lot of the time the answer was no if I wanted to do a certain thing. I have a sister that is 9 years younger than me and most of the attention was on her. If my parents wanted to go out, I had to cancel my plans to stay home and babysit for her.
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
29 Jan 12
I not only felt ignored but used. It was that way my whole life. After we all got married I continued to have the same feeling from my Mom and my sisters. I am glad that I moved out of the city and live in the country, basically we had our own life away from them. Just had to put up with them when I felt like visiting.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jan 12
I understand you feeling ignored, I did most of the time too. My one sister is the oldest, my brother was the only boy and my other sis was the baby. I was just kind of there is how I felt a lot of the time. =(
1 person likes this
@Chico1793 (135)
• United States
27 Jan 12
I honestly felt that way in my teen years though I love my family my parents never laid a hand on me i'm grateful. My family is huge I'm the youngest of 7 boys. But my older brothers would come first majority of the times it would be rare when I was listened to it really hurt deep inside :( my parents would always take their side on arguments, give them money for whatever they needed. I hardly asked 4 cash and didn't bother because they would deny me. One time I really got angry because 2 of my bros got into a fist fight that I walked into on my way home from school. My dad found out and later out of nowhere began yelling at me 4 no reason blaming me for causing it when I wasn't involved at all.!!. My brothers just stood there mute like if I was to blame. But when stuff like that happens in our family the next day they all act as if nothing happened awkward but true. I still feel like I have so many things to get out but feel like there's no point because I won't be listened.
@Chico1793 (135)
• United States
28 Jan 12
Thank you LMB I appreciate that very much this is one of the main reasons y I joined mylot because the community is all ears and show support and try to help eachother.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jan 12
I'm sorry you went through that. =( Thats what its good about being here because you can talk to us about anything you want and we all listen here! It wasnt fair that you got blamed for things like that. If you ever need to talk about anything Im here! =)
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Feb 12
I felt the same way. I used to keep my problems to myself too. I am glad I have here to talk to people so I have a way to get things out. I don't feel ignored here! =)
Communication is not in this home either with my parents, your not alone...
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
26 Jan 12
Oh yes, I have been through this.. I know what you are talking about... My parents ignored me and my little life, so did my teachers. The result has been horrible.. I am a person with BiPolar Disorder today.. Totally alone and unhappy in my lonely world.. An ignored child is bound to feel lonely and helpless, I was no exception to that...
I remember that we discussed about your kids in another discussion. Miss, my advice to you is to take care of the kids. Make sure they grow up as humans with self respect... Mine was destroyed when I was kid...
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Jan 12
I was ignored also and it felt horrible. I am so sorry it has affected you this way. =(
I know how it feels and I would never do anything to hurt them. They are my world and I want the best for them. Even the problems they have at such a young age I listen to.
@veejay19 (3589)
• India
27 Jan 12
I was never a problematic child when young and hardly had any except for one. I was a very poor eater and my mom had a job on her hands trying to make me eat anything.I wasn`t ignored at all and whatever my needs or wants were taken care of by my parents quite promptly.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jan 12
Thats good that you were not ignored and had everything you needed. =)
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
30 Jan 12
My brothers and I had one parent who would listen to our problems and to our dreams. I realize, now, that I failed to take advantage of that as much as I should have. We did have two parents. Our father worked hard to provide us with the material needs, but he gave off signals that hasn't interested in what we thought about anything. Maybe he was just too tired after working all day in the field.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
29 Jan 12
On the contrary, I think my problems when I was a child were made into such 'big deals', and I wish they were not. I think that had a mild affect on how I dealt with problems. I think everything is a big deal.
Although I tell my kids 'no big deal' when they have problems, I don't feel too guilty about it.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Feb 12
I have heard that either extreme is not good. I think everything is a big deal too, well stressful things are a very big deal.
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
30 Jan 12
I was not ignored, but I was never looked at as anything important. At least thats how I felt. I kept to myself a lot. I never associated with people in general. I did have friends and I did hang out and have fun, but I always had a better time by myself. I was never encouraged, I was raised to be a worker and to get married, like the old people believed. I got screwed. I always thought outside the box, I never followed rules and I always believed that anything was possible, but the problem was that I was kept down with old ideas and beliefs. So, I got screwed.
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
26 Jan 12
Dear friend, you must know that my childhood was not without its problems. I, because of my weak character and personality so weak, I was teased and mocked by my peers. Already then I made ??the mistake of hiding everything and say nothing to my parents that maybe they could help me.
Over the course of time, when such abuse is continued even in old age, because I never learned to make myself respected by others.
Now that I live this situation more or less equally, I understand, however, that the problems I had in my teenage years, were "small."
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jan 12
Wow! Six siblings is a lot! Thats good that you had caring parents. =)
