nothing but attitude

I've got no kids yet, but my niece and nephew come over every weekend. Already this morning they started to fight, they're on their way to my aunts (their great aunts) now but before they left with my grandfather my niece took a toy from my nephew. I am usually the only one who will disclipine them when they are here. I went outside and said "Give that to me right now" and then "No Ma'am" and well I am sure she's a bit upset with me but oh well. The way you disclipined your child is the way I was disclipined and I am sure the way you were as well, we know it works. However, I have to say I was such a messy messy child.

I always wondered if sisters really fight more than brothers, or brothers and sisters. I have only ever had brothers, and yes, we could get into some good fights. My mother has a sister, and I know that even as adults, they can get into some pretty heated arguments, and they are in their late 50s/early 60s.

My husband and I used to go into our daughter's room once a month with a garbage bag and do a clean-out. She was probably about the age your oldest daughter is now. She never EVER noticed anything went missing. She was quite the hoarder though. She pulled things out of the recycle bin and hid them in her room. Things like empty pop cans. Honestly, why? She also had a lovely collection of USED toothbrushes. Kids sometimes! One thing I told my daughters a long time ago was that they are making tomorrow's memories today and if this is the way they wanted to remember their childhood and relationship with each other than keep at it. I think telling them that made a real difference. My oldest will be 19 next week and her sister will be 16 in August. They have been best of friends for years now. I didn't grow up with my siblings as most of them moved out when I was young because they are so much older than me. So one of my biggest goals was to create my own nice family unit and am so happy I accomplished that. It brings me great joy to hear my girls laughing together. I played board games with them and would chase them around the house, have tea towel fights with them that carried out onto the street. Once I chased after my daughter who ran into the bathroom. When I pushed the door open she fell into the bathtub so I promptly turned the shower on and soaked her. What fun that was! A couple of weeks ago, though, she got even with me. It was a couple of years later but she still managed to get me in the tub (accidentally) and turned the water on. I'm a lot bigger than her and because of the position I fell in I had a hard time getting out. My two girls just laughed at me. Oh, I could go on forever. But remind your kids they are the only siblings they will ever have and they will be siblings forever and when they are older they want to look back at these years with pleasant memories. And yes, girls get attitudes. Those hormones are so nasty!

you have to work on that attitude early which you seem to be doing. you might want to get a hold of the book, 'the strong willed child' by Dr. James Dobson. it is a very good book on parenting. it is worth a read. your local library may even have a copy.

You're not wrong, children have to learn to care for and appreciate their things. But you're missing the real conflict here which is your daughter's need for attention and confirmation that she is frustrated with her sister. Take the two of them into the kitchen with a pot of tea and some cookies and have a conversation about all their good attributes without mentioning their faults. You might be surprised at the results. I did this with my two boys often and it worked wonders. Of course they will bicker and contradict each other at first but they'll come to enjoy these private moments with just the three of you--or even with your other child, all you girls together having an "adult" conversation.

We have the rule about if it's left out of place it is lost. With four of them leaving stuff everywhere I couldn't take it anymore. Mine have been at each other for a few days now. Rainy weather has then stuck in the house and that is all we need to get them crazy..

Good for you that you did't cave in and give her back her gadgets! She might think a bit next time before she takes her bad attitude out on someone else.....hope things have settled down by now!

My children used to have days when it seemed they would argue constantly. Silly stuff too. "Mom..Jessa is looking at me" kind of crazy stuff. I hated that! I would take away stuff too. I started taking the "mad one" off to the side and sitting her/him down and asking them what was wrong. I would give them some time to vent or tell me whatever they felt like they needed to. I remember thinking sometimes that it was silly but at the same time I knew that it was important enough to them to make them act out. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn't. When it didn't help, I would separate them and take away stuff like you did.