Marriage these days are really vulnerable.
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
April 1, 2012 11:38pm CST
I am really saddened these days for my nephew and niece. They're barely 4years old and 1year old but their family is shattered. The guy decided to declare to the wife that he no longer sees her as someone he could love and has fallen in love with another.
Worst, the girl he's in love with has a thick face because they work together in one organization (the three of them) and doesn't care who's going to get hurt as long as she can get her man.
Anyhow, I know the solution is beyond me, but I can't imagine how these kids are going through. They keep on calling for their father and keeps on asking mommy why they are no longer living with daddy, but she could just tell them he's busy because she knows they wouldn't understand.
I know it takes two to tango, and these sorts of stuff is 'common' but I don't want to tolerate it and just shrug it off as a 'sad story'. It is happening every day and I can't help but wonder how these women (the third party) could sleep at night knowing that they have destroyed the lives of these babies!?
I honestly could rip her face if I knew who she was, but the family decided to withhold information for they know I would truly act on it.
Why are these things happening? What should be done to help these kids cope? I am their aunt and I know I should do something about it. I know I can't comfort the mom nor talk to the dad because it's beyond talking. What could I do for the kids?
Truly is a sad thought for me.. It was already too late when I heard the news.
Could anyone share some thoughts? Perhaps those who have gone through the same? Whether you were the kid or the wife/husband. What could be done?
Thanks in advance for responding.
7 responses
@jazel_juan (15745)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
This is one of my greatest fear, that one day my husband would tell me he does not love me anymore and that he found love on someone else. That would hurt like hell. That is why i tell him what is in my heart often and vice versa so i know we are still on the same boat, that is also why no matter how times are rough i make it a point we still get our quality time together..and that no women get her hands on my husband 
i would often tell him that i do trust him but then i do not trust others especially someone women who make it a challenge to go for married men to see if they would take the bait - i even jokingly tell him that i would make her life hell
But honestly, it is sad that these stuff are happening, it is sad but then it is reality..sometimes there are really couples who cannot work it out... and it really is scary, and it do scares the hell out of me. There are times when i know i am not perfect, i cannot give everything, i make mistakes and that there are stuff that i cannot do, there are times that i cannot give what my family needs and i tell him that honestly..atleast he knows and won't turn to other women.
i would often tell him that i do trust him but then i do not trust others especially someone women who make it a challenge to go for married men to see if they would take the bait - i even jokingly tell him that i would make her life hell
But honestly, it is sad that these stuff are happening, it is sad but then it is reality..sometimes there are really couples who cannot work it out... and it really is scary, and it do scares the hell out of me. There are times when i know i am not perfect, i cannot give everything, i make mistakes and that there are stuff that i cannot do, there are times that i cannot give what my family needs and i tell him that honestly..atleast he knows and won't turn to other women. @laydee (12798)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
Indeed, I guess there should be a check and balance every time or so in order to check if the partner is still in the same boat with you. It's good that you can talk to him about these things and that he understands.
I would really pay big money to have people destroying families be tortured and killed. Whew!
@freymind (1351)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
jazel_juan, we are in the same boat! i just got married last february. my husband and i were a couple for 7 years before tying the knot. i am very vocal about my feelings about separation and what will happen in our married life. you see we both came from a broken family. both of our fathers left our mothers for other women. multiple women to be exact.
laydee, if you are going to ask me what i felt when my parents got separated, i was shattered. knowing that my father irresponsibly left us so that he can be happy with another woman. now he wants me to be close with his other family which is pathetic since how can I be close with them if they are the reason why i grew up alone because my mom needs to work overseas.
i've forgiven the women who shattered my family but i will never forget. also my parents aren't divorced so it means that the women in his life are all mistresses. i can be civil but i can't tolerate what they are doing. as what the Bible says, anyone who tolerates a sin becomes responsible for that sin. and i don't want to be responsible for their sin.
if and if this will happen to me and my husband he knows what i'm going to do. i told him i'm not a martyr and will not accept it silently. i will make both of their lives a living hell. bringing the woman into shame if she ever thinks of ruining my marriage and trying to get into my husbands pants.
i hope you can help your niece in raising her children. its a good thing that your family seems to have a strong relationship. i pray that the children will become good and Godly.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
Vulnerability would have something to do with sustaining the affection, trust, respect and probably initiative in opening up communication.
Kids could only cope up if things are explained in a very subtle way, so as not to cause a traumatic experience, and should be simply informed of what's happening.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
I don't think that there's really a subtle way of explaining things to kids. Even now that he doesn't know anything, my nephew's grades have been affected. The niece is also affected in a way that she keeps on calling every man she sees "daddy".
It's sad really, the thought just makes me cry.
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Apr 12
That is truly a very sad situation. I feel bad for your sister and her kids.
I am really not sure what can be done except that the kids know it is NOT their fault daddy went away because when this happens the kids usually think they pushed the person away somehow. Also the kids need to know without a doubt they have tons of love from their family, even if daddy is not around.
I don't think anything else can really be done because no one can bring their daddy back to them and it cannot really be fixed.
My prayers will be with them and I think the kids will be fine with people around that love them. =)
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
2 Apr 12
im so very sorry to hear that and where i come from if u haven't been divorces then ur not normal! i totally DO NOT AGREE!!in my family i am the only one married. and they always aske me when r u leaving him. im like ugh! i am not leaving the man i love and respect.i always tell them-anyone-'look the other way'.
this person who is had taken another womans' man she will get whats comin. believe me! what u should do(unless u think otherwise) is fight for ur man. DO NOT LET THIS GIRL DO THIS TO U AND RUIN UR FAMILY. this man does love you! if u have done everything u could to get him back and he still is away hit him in the head hard!! and knock some sence into his fried brain! im say mentally knock him beside the head! wiat ur the aunt?! well tell her this lol!! ur a good sis!!btw
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
That's really sad to know, i don't know why the couple just fall in love other without thinking of their kids needs.
It's sad,so much temptation in these days,and very bad and sinful.They should have focus on one family,and not follow their emotion that temp them..Sorry for the kids,what can they do..
@shwetat195 (628)
• India
2 Apr 12
when a couples calls it a day to call off their relation, i think then no one can save that relation. Counselling does help to delay the end, however i feel (not being offensive to any), end is evident. children have to suffer along with the other family members. Marriage is a relation of not blood but of trust. Once trust is lost, its lost for ever. Couples have to work together to maintain the relation.
I feel sorry for your niece and nephew, however i am sure god would help them come out of the trauma at the earliest.
