If being yourself makes life more difficult, would you continue being yourself?

I understand, so when we say 'to thine own self be true', it can easily be followed with the statement 'and by being true to thyself brings contentment and joy'. Now let's go back to the example situation I have given above about the guy who lest his love because he became true to himself by showing his past life to his girlfriend but lost her in the process. If you were that guy, would you continue to lie to her about your past so that you can be with her forever, or would you also risk losing her by telling a part of you that is a like a burden of guilt you carry until you told her about it?

Well said! Maybe you needed to build your relationships first in such a way that no matter what you tell her after that, she would accept you because her love for you has grown in great proportion. I guess in the story example, I would advice that it would be better not to make that kind of mistake. As I said in one of the discussions I have made about natural healing, "prevention is better than cure". I think those words apply perfectly in this story. If you don't make a problem in the first place, there are no dark secrets that you needed to tell your girlfriend.

I would not lie about anything. If she will be your girlfriend for a long time, then you should be honest to her so that you can gain trust from her. But there are some things that should be said at the right timing. Find that right timing, and sincerely open up to her if she wants to know you better. If she doesn't accept you for who you are, then she is not destined for you.

I believe sometimes can have difficulty in life by being yourself. For example, you have a girlfriend and she doesn't know that you have a child with another girl in your past ( I want to make clear that this story is not about me...lol ), and because of this reality you pretended to be 'somebody else' which means a person who is completely single, and because of that she was able to love you. And then this person wanted to be 'true to himself' by telling this secret he has hidden from her about his child with another woman, and because of that instead of accepting him, she became angry and left him...now this is one example of being true to oneself and being hurt in the process. Anyway, I know these types of situations wherein being yourself would only lead to hurt is not common, but they do happen in some cases. Anyway, I agree that you could only be happiest when you are yourself and not to pretend to be someone you're not. Living with pretension could be one of the most stressful type of living. What you said is true that we need to see the wonderful things that life can offer, and may I add also to see the wonderful things of being who we are.

I think the person in your analogy is not being himself, probably suffering from some sort personality disorder by pretending to be someone, lol! Kind of immature and dishonest on the first place, typical of having the right intention for the wrong reasons. One has to learn to respect one's self and have positive thoughts to enjoy the wonderful things life can offer.

Yes, reading the topic I have just written I felt there is something wrong with it..lol. You are right, it should not be 'being oneself' but being in some difficult situation or what you have just pointed out as an example. And if you changed for the better, you are still the same 'self' and just improved to a better state, and you didn't change at all but only your circumstances. I like what you said about just being positive and enjoying the wonderful things life can offer...in short, being an optimist.

Yes, I believe many people wear 'masks' that makes them more acceptable to others while they remain untrue to themselves. Difficult as it may be sometimes, we needed to show our real selves to others and as you see, we could receive real benefits for doing so. Anyway, looking at how I made the title of this topic it really seems that I could put it into better words that won't make it seem 'nonsense' at first glance. lol

I like your last sentence that says being yourself is being free. It is such a liberating feeling to be true to oneself and not depending on others to show you your happiness. This places everyone in the challenge to find their own bliss, desires, goals and happiness and to be strong enough to hold on to these without being pressured by those who tries to tell us these things are not us and we have to be someone else. Wearing a mask is never comfortable and unless we remove the mask we can never feel happy about ourselves. The moment we put down our mask and be happy showing our real selves even if we face some contradictions along the way, we would find ourselves feeling freedom that gives joy.

Your comment only shows how strong your character is, honest_efforts. I believe people becomes pushovers because they don't have strong convictions and seems to be swayed easily by what other people think or say about them. Their real self changes depending on what others think and which will make them more acceptable to others. These people should start saying 'you may not like me, but this is who I am and I won't change it only because someone doesn't like it'. I believe some people will always like us while others will not. That is just the way relationships are all about, but we don't let that change who we are unless that change is about improving ourselves when we realize what someone dislikes about us is a real defect that would only help us if we change them.