The Blame Game

Wow, you've given me some insight as to what is happening for sure. I do know that a person with diabetes is a sick person and you cannot always expect their behavior to be healthy. Diabetes is a sickness. When I deal with sick people, I try to treat them the way I would want to be treated if I were sick. It changes the way I respond to them when I face the fact that they are acting out of their sickness and truthfully, they cannot always be aware they are doing the things they do. I look at the times I've been sick and done things that I don't understand why I did them except I was sick and not able to control myself as well as I do when I'm healthy. Having said all that, however, a diabetic needs to learn about their disease and their inability to function normally when their disease is acting out. I know they aren't always responsible for their actions, but they can learn to avoid being out of control by taking better care of themselves. You cannot make them do that, they have to see what they are doing as dysfunctional and want to change it for themselves and it really sounds like you are saying they aren't going to do that. Not hard to understand that under the circumstances it is giving you a stressful living situation where you must decide if all the stress is worth you staying there. Personally, I had to make sure I didn't live with my mom when she was elderly because it made me crazy with her dysfunctional behavior. Even a psychiatrist couldn't reach her, so I sure knew I couldn't and it became a matter of protecting myself and my family. The fact you see the dysfunction is the real clue to you learning how to deal with it without being part of it. From what you are saying there are many issues in your mind for you to deal with. It would be hard knowing they need help, just like it was for me with my mom, but you have a life to live also. They have to let go of you as a child when you become an adult, and you have to let go of them and let them be responsible for their life and live your own. It is always going to be part of growing up for any person that they let go and become their own person. The fact is, she is going to die one day, and you aren't going to be able to be there with her and take care of her after she does. She is making herself dependent on both of you in order not to be responsible for her own health. That is just sick mental thinking on her part. You need to let go and trust she will live or die and it won't be by your hand. The truth is you have grown a set of _____. You are standing up and saying this isn't making me happy and nothing is changing around me to make me happy unless I make some changes. Don't loose your life to other people's insanity. Big ((hug)) to you and remember some people actually have gone through similar situations to yours.

Hi cotruelove. I was stressing myself, but I don't like putting the blame on others, this person has always had a hard time with putting the blame on the right person. She protects her son like she is the momma bear and he is the baby bear even as old as he is at 45. It's sad in a way but I'm the only female here and she seems to have had a problem with other females, even said that she argues with me due to the fact I am a female. What do you say to something like that? I said well let me try to grow a ____________ and see if that helps, of course that was just out of anger and joking. I'm not sure if talking to her would even help as she's the type that gets so angry she won't even talk to you anymore cause she knows you are right, just out of her emotions alone. I have had to deal with so much BS from family it's just ridiculous. I don't even know why I stay here to help them at times cause they never really seem to appreciate anything I do.Even the other night when I gave her the icing when she was going into a diabetic coma she didn't even know I did it til I told her yesterday and then at first she didn't wanna believe me, said thank you and then acted like I should have let her die or something. Not sure if she was joking about those things or not but this is the kind of stuff I deal with on a daily basis almost and it drives me out of my mind. I just want to live a peaceful normal life without any dysfunction for once. I have always come into road blocks at home. You have helped me think about this more though and I will try to do some of my own research on how to handle people like this, if I had money for a shrink I would make them rich I swear with all these things I have to deal with lately.

Yes, ignorance is the right word I was looking for. This is just unacceptable to me. But to get them to stop this kind of behaviour is almost impossible, they only believe what they wanna believe. If I tell someone whats happening here, they get mad and tell me not to tell anyone. That tells you right there they know what they're doing is wrong, to me. I think it's just sick.

Ha, the two "men" here are no good at it, thats for sure. They can't even fix a toilet thats running after flushing. Or don't bother to wait until after it's flushed to make sure it's stopped.

Thank you! I did "fix" it before but it doesn't happen enough times for me to remember how to do it. I have 'fixed' the one downstairs once or twice, too. It's just so silly how some people react to things. This person who accused me of it leaves the microwave on, lights on, tv on, stove on, and falls asleep, etc. at times, so they are certainly not the most perfect either. I'm usually the one who reminds them of leaving the stove on, etc. I even said it doesn't matter who did it, we're all adults here anyways, and even it we were kids, it would be silly to argue, etc. about, just fix the darn thing.