Would you leave if he came out and told you e cheated..

United States
June 24, 2012 6:50pm CST
I am watching a movie and the wife went away with her son and he cheated on his wife. when she came home she knew something was wrong as well. she told him after he finishes hiding what he f'ed up she will be in the bedroom. he then went in and stated to cry and told her the truth. she is packing up and leaving with her son. The movie is called barney's version. If this was me I would be packing as well. I don't tolerate anyone doing this to me.
3 people like this
11 responses
• Singapore
25 Jun 12
I would have said the exact same thing as you. I would have packed up and leave. But the reality sets in when it actually happened to me. I never expected it to happen. Before it happened, I could say that I would leave the person. But when it actually happened, I was more lost at that time and did not what to do, instead of just thinking of packing and leaving. I did not want to make rash decisions, especially when I had a two-year old daughter at that time. He came out right and told me. At that time, I had to fight. I had to at least try. For the sake of my daughter. I was just thinking of her all the while. If things did not turn out well for us, at least I could tell my daughter when she grows up, these are the things I did and I tried to save the marriage. So I took the decision to fight. I'm thankful to God! I believe I made the right decision to stay and fought for my rights. There's a lot to learn from such incidents. No one is perfect. Not even the victim of an infidelity. I became more humble as I stood before God to seek His Guidance during difficult times. It was a test for me. The question is are we prepared to face it or simply flee from our problems?
3 people like this
@choybel (5052)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
So did he remain and became loyal again, then earned your trust one more time? It is nice and brave of you for not being selfish even at that lowest moment of your life. Truly, the lesson you share here is one to be heard or read by many.
2 people like this
• Singapore
27 Jun 12
He stayed with the family. Has he earned my trust again? Hard to say. But when you make such sacrifices, you must be understand that nothing will ever be the same again. As you mentioned, it WAS the lowest point in my life. I have never been humiliated and disrespected in my life. Only God understands how I feel. I told myself that if I got out of this alive, I'd write a book about it. But I felt that it was not a success story to be told to other people. I also had wanted to set up a support group for these people, people who have been betrayed by their spouses. There's a lack of such support groups in our country.
@choybel (5052)
• Philippines
27 Jun 12
If I had to say how this experience built you, I would say that it has made you into a stronger and more loving person. It did require courage and a lot of love to continue that relationship, and after all that you wanted to help other people through the same experience. It is people like you that makes me believe that humanity still holds a chance for so much goodness.
@911Ricki (13591)
• Canada
25 Jun 12
I actually won that movie in a contest but haven't had the time to watch it. I was the looking through items to sell. I wouldn't put up with that period. I'd be up and gone end of story. No excuses and no second chances (once a cheater always a cheater) ask my older brother he will never change. My friend met this guy online dating, they see each other here and there. He use to come around all the time ( she never gave in to him and gave him it). He didn't talk to her for about 2 months and my friend is so clueless I would of just went my seperate ways then. But he called and visited her and admitted her cheated and he was under doctors care ( so I'm thinking he picked up something) and my friend pretends like It never happened.
3 people like this
@isha242 (83)
• United States
25 Jun 12
I have never seen Barney's Version but I think that the ability to forgive is an important quality for anyone to have. When you learn to forgive others for a mistake you are saying something about your character as well. You show an understanding for what they have done and you recognize that they are human just like you and that no one is perfect. I think that when you forgive someone it doesnt technically mean that you forget about what they did. That's seems almost impossible to do. I think that real love doesnt instantly die when someones flaws are shown and if it does then it wasnt real love or marriage to begin with. But, if someone decides to cheat on their spouse its a message that the act of cheating wasnt the cause of destroying the relationship but something else or a root cause led up to the cheating. Only active communication could have stopped that person from going out to get a need met from somoneone other than their spouse. Sometimes we want to get mad and hold a grudge at the person that has cheated but whats the point of holding grudges. Life is too short to be anything but happy. We could hold this universal idea that once a cheater always cheater but how do we know if that statement is actually true if we never give that person a second chance. Its not about tolerating, it's about fighting for something you really want or deciding if it's even worth fighting for.
• Canada
25 Jun 12
I'd defintely do the same thing. If he wants me, then I need to be the only one that he wants. Otherwse, he can leave. He shouldn't be able to have his cake and eat it too. No one should!
2 people like this
@Rasniki09 (183)
25 Jun 12
My first impulse would be to kick him out, I would not leave my house. But if you truly love someone, I don't think it's that easy to walk away. I would try my best to forgive and give 1 more chance.. right after I beat him and his mistress.
1 person likes this
@isohyeoh (223)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
No. I will never leave. One of the hardest things human can do is to forgive but if you are a christian, I mean real Christian, you will always welcome forgiveness. This man who cheated has confessed to his wife. He has accepted his fault. He should be repentant. This man needs his wife's forgiveness to set him free. If the wife accepts what happens, she forgives. Both of them is set free. both of them forgives. Both of them becomes closer to each other and becomes more open. The relationship becomes stronger. If they love each other, they will stick to their vows no matter what happens. The Lord will bless their relationship if they, themselves obey the Lord's commandments.
@taura2p (349)
• Romania
25 Jun 12
I don't believe I would be able to forgive cheating, too. I think I would pack up my bags and leave. If he cheated you once, and you accepted it, he will always cheat you twice, and more and more times.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39899)
• Canada
25 Jun 12
the book was written by a great montreal writer, Mordecai Richler, is based on a real barney. I don't know what I would do, things like that can turn out in many different ways, what we think we would do and what we actually do when the time comes can be very different.
1 person likes this
@choybel (5052)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
I believe that packing up and leaving would be the initial and common reaction for many, but I think that second chances is a good option. Some things are not perfect, so we have to accept that and if we just run away from such without at least trying to fix it, then we will probably find ourselves always running away from situations instead of facing it. I wish that was how my parents thought before they went on separate ways after being married for long and have 8 children.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 12
To me, it depends on the cheating. I could forgive it the first time, especially if he only did it once, or with one person, then I would forgive it, but if he cheated on me more than once, or with multiple people, then I would leave, and serve him the divorce papers.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 12
I always told myself that if this ever happened to me with anybody that I'd be gone so fast. But after being with my boyfriend for more than 2 years, I know that if he ever told me something like that I wouldn't be able to leave. I love him so much and as much as it would kill me, I'd stay. In a way, I hate myself for feeling like that because to me, it's weak to stay. He'd have to truly be sorry and really believe that he won't ever do it again. He'd get one more chance and then I'd have to end it, even though it would hurt me. Luckily, I don't have to worry about my guy and I truly feel that my heart is safe with him
1 person likes this