Do you think it's fair?
By meumeu25
@meumeu25 (913)
United Arab Emirates
August 23, 2012 4:21am CST
My sis and I had a disagreement this morning and it left me feeling bad and irritable. It's always been because of money and I'm really really getting sick about it. Everytime it is her turn to go home to Philippines, I always have to send the bigger amount than she does but when it's my turn I don't even get help from her, I went home last year taking a little money and presents with me, it wasn't a problem with me until I got there and my relatives started comparing me to my sis, it made me feel like going back to work as soon as possible.
Today she told me I will be the one who will send money from now on till june next year and it really pissed me because it's always been like that. I refused because I am also going home next year and she knows it, then the argument started and she told me, she always send more money than I do, that's because of her investment, we are suppose to send equally for the allowance. Everytime I point it out that she will get back what she was sending for her investments, I end up being selfish because she always say it's not for her it's for the whole family. I feel like asking her if our parents die (which will eventually come will she share it with us, her siblings? i really doubt that). I'm really getting impatient with her, she even told me it's fine if I go home with nothing because I am single, while she has a daughter. Everytime she goes home she has packages and have party. While I am still struggling to save for myself and being compared with her. It's hard not to care about being compared, I don't want to do what she does, I just wanted to feel happy when I am home, I am happy spending time with my parents, siblings, nephews and nieces but everytime someone compare me to her my happines sinks. Since we are young we are always compared to each other when I was old enough I decided to do things differently from hers but the comparrison always occur and even though I got used to it already it still sting a little. I feel like they don't see me as who I am and my abilities because it's been over shadowed by my sisters.
Whoah, that's a relief, I'm complaining like hell here :P
Sorry for boring you guys.:)
2 responses
@favouredmost (256)
• Kenya
24 Aug 12
Don't worry about it people will always be compared with others no matter what you do. People will look for weakness in others and try to take advantage of that. Your sister has found out that she can manipulate you by making you feel bad. If she wants you not to send money then don't tell her just send it to your parents if you have it. if you want to take packages with you do it and let her do what she wants,she is jealous of you and enjoys when you get emotional and unhappy, don't give her that satisfaction. If you go home and they start comparing you, don't let it get to you just tell them politely that you are not your sister and would not like to be like her and please enjoy your life. The same thing happens in my family and I made it very clear that if they are interested in my sister more than me, then can see her and I will stay in my place until they invite me and believe me it worked.
@meumeu25 (913)
• United Arab Emirates
26 Aug 12
Hi,
Actually I know my sister cares about me, it's only that I think she cares a lot on peoples perception of her. I don't know why but I think her way of showing her affection is by giving material things to her loved ones and sad to say but it's working. I show my affection differently I don't tolerate spoiling them just for them to love me back. I am not following what she tells me anymore, I'm old enough to decide for myself now, if she want's me to stay in her life then she has to respect my decissions. One time she threatened me that she will forget we are sisters but then she caved in first and called me. I don't have problems with my parents i know they will love me no matter what. Aside from ocassional money arguments me and my sis gets along fine. I hate it, how much she cares about money and her reputation, it's a sad reality.
Thank you very much for your advice and have a blessed Sunday :).
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
23 Aug 12
Lots of people have family rivalry going on but its important not to let that stuff interfere with your well being I think? What you described should not be a comparison or contest but something you do out of your own heart. You might suggest to your family that comparisons should not take place because everyone is an individual. How they see it might change or it might not but you can be a little independent in what you do and your thinking. Sure why not. That is my opinion anyway.
