When would you be comfortable enough to wear a bikini??

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I have always felt comfortable to wear a bikini until I gained weight after I had children. I'm about fourty 6pounds overweight. I want to wear a bikini but have everything still shaking!!!! I would swim if no one was watching and that would be the best exercise ever. I know Mariah Carey does it. If only I had my own private pool. That would be amazing!! As long as my belly shrinks I would wear a bikini but until then cover me up:(