"Hate parents"
By prashu
@prashu228 (37518)
India
September 23, 2012 6:49am CST
hello friends,
Recently i went on invigilation as a substitute, as my friend was out of station on some important work. The examination started , the candidates filled all the required columns.Examination started. When last half an hour was left, then i checked each an every candidates OMR sheet. I found a boy who is in his teens, didn't write his mothers name on the required column. I thought , may be he forgot or missed it . So i told him , to please fill it. But to my surprise ,the boy told he don't want to write his mothers name on the sheet( OMR sheet). I told him ,its a must ,he cannot avoid it. Then the boy started crying, he said he can even leave the exam ,let him fail,but don't want to write his mothers name. He hate her. So i called one of the senior teacher ,he tried to explain the boy, that he have to loose a whole year if he doesn't qualify, all went on for more than half an hour. Then the boy agreed , but not with full heart ,i can say. Sometimes i remember about the poor boy and feel so sorry for him. The reason why he don't like his mother was, she went away , with another man , by leaving him ,his sister and his dad, he was going on crying .Poor boy developed such a hatred ,that he doesn't even want to mention her name . How bad the boy was effected by the parents separation or quarrel . Is it okay if children develop such hatred for one of their parents. I don't think so. There is still more to write ,but i will continue in the responses. friends please your views. i think we should try to understand the poor tender aged children's heart and the influence they have on their future life.
2 people like this
13 responses
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I experienced a bit the same with what the boy had. But I didn't hate my mother after all.
Before I celebrated my first birthday my father met an accident his leg got amputated and during his hospitalization my mother found out that a woman visited father in the hospital and was shocked when she saw me and my mother in my father's hospital room. She was not expecting to see us at all. What she knew was that father was unmarried and she only found it out after she saw us and then she run away and my mother saw it. She was just 16 then and my father was on the right age. Mother just waited for my first birthday and then left us. She didn't bring me with her because she was too young at that time. She needs to work to earn a living, how can she work if I'm with her? If I was with her how can we both eat so she decided to left me with my father's family because she was thinking I can be properly taken cared of by my father's sisters.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
so sorry, but i must say, your mother is very courageous, she handled the situation perfectly and first and foremost she thought about you. and your life.
@arnold1428 (125)
• India
24 Sep 12
hi, so sorry, but your mother care for you, what she did was ,for better future of you
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Hi Arnold,
Yes she was thinking for my better future when she chose to left me with my father and she was right because my aunt helped to finish college. And if I was with her I don't think she can send me to college. She got married with my father at the age of 15 she didn't even in high school. I don't think she can get a high salary job that can support my studies until college.
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
The anger that build up with the boy is normal because he was left by his mother. But I think, even though how hard for the parents to come into terms, they should not teach their kids to have negative feelings toward the parent who committed a mistake. The parents should still let their kids feel that they are important. While it is painful to accept that the family will never be like they used to be, I think a reassurance from the parents that the problem is only between then and that their love for their children will still be the same.
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
For a child who has so much hatred towards his parent, he needs the guidance of a therapist to be able to overcome it. Coz if we will just allow a child to be feeling this way without proper guidance, there are studies that they are most likely to be disrespectful towards women when they grow up.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
yes, he should be treated , taken to a therapist , which will help him ,to over come the pain and move further in life.
@arnold1428 (125)
• India
24 Sep 12
yes, may be the boy is disturbed and takes time to forget and forgive his mother.
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
24 Sep 12
Prashu each one of us has a separate set of feelings. What I like is something you may not, and vice versa, what you like may seem a bit odd to me. In this case, the kid was young and would not understand his mother's behavior until he goes through such feelings. So we should not be judgmental on that issue. I wish however that he had not exposed this to others. For we never know what led to that situation in which his mother had to run away. It is one thing to be a judge without knowing all the facts, as youngsters might do, and it is another thing to take a call after growing old, because by the time our understanding of human nature and all rights and wrongs undergoes many transformations. We often find our friends or relatives doing something that we wouldnt have endorsed. We learn of the reasons. Then we do find it justified at times. So our thinking is constantly changing. Give him time. He will grow up. For now, he is under the influence of immediate family, i.e., his sibling and father. So everything seems unfair to him.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
i agree, no two people think alike, i agree that we should not be judgmental, as we don't know about the mother, so we are not talking about his mothers character or her relationship with her husband. His mother ran away ,there may be many reasons. But here we are only focusing on the child and his suffering no matter what, but parents should not leave their children ,in such a state.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
27 Sep 12
she can leave her husband if he is not worth living, but should not ignore children, she should maintain her relation with her children, after ll, they are her children too, they have every right to ask her.
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I pity the boy you told us about. I guess, when that happens to us also, i would feel the same. My heart is aching as i am reading your post about him , in fact my tears are welling up in my eyes.
Oh, i hate her mother too, my friend! How selfish for such a mother to do that!
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Maybe the mother tried to reconnect with them, but the hatred implanted on the hearts of her children is so big that they don't want to see her anymore.
It shows on how the boy reacted. I just hope time will heal their wounds. 
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
yes, its indeed a sad story, anyone will/could feel the pain of the boy. His mother at least would have maintained good relationship with her children, which is the most precious on this earth
@kokomo (1866)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I think the father of the boy has an obligation for his son not to behave like that even though they have been left by the mother.He has a responsibility to explain well that hating her mother is not right. All of us commit mistakes and perhaps there are a lot of reason why the parents' relationship did not work. The boy deserves to love and to take care even more because her mother already gone. Its a total hell for the kids to be with parents who are always quarreling.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
his father should take care of him, so that he is not misguided or spoil his life, he should open up,other wise ,he will suffer from inside which is very dangerous
@arnold1428 (125)
• India
24 Sep 12
yes the father should have explained him, or may be mother should have , after all her children, they have every right to know.
@shm1975 (38)
•
24 Sep 12
Yes i agree with u . Today's childhood is damaged by by our modern lifestyle of parents.Parents are busy with their own life ,like night party ,egos,career ,they have no time for their child, The child fill lonely & alone with lots expectation form their parents which makes him money getting machine.Their parents so called social life make them frustrated.which is turned into quarrel & turn into separation
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
yes many parents ignore their children, which is very bad, this should be changed, children are under stress and not able to achieve success in life
@arnold1428 (125)
• India
24 Sep 12
hi, yes expectations have increased, and also parents not giving much time to children ,which is most important
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
23 Sep 12
Well, I must admit that personally, especially in recent times, my relationship with my parents, is not optimal.
Now, unfortunately, in my family, there is no dialogue, there is hardly mentioned, if we do not arguing!
Despite this, however, I must emphasize that I do not feel any regret nor even hatred of my dear parents.
Of course my brother and I, we are not children-classical model that maybe they would expect from us.
I do not think that any negative event influence me to the point of trying repudiation. They are and will always remain, my dear parents.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
23 Sep 12
alberello:
I really appreciate you. You have a certain disability. In spite of this you tried to study, work. Your parents also deserve a lot of appreciation. I am sure they would have felt totally down when they had a child with disabilities. (75% you said). They did not lose hopes. they brought you to this level of being able to communicate with a person at the other end of the globe immediately.
Alberello -- I request you to be more good to your parents-- please talk to them nicely. they may have certain needs on account of old age. if you can please do for them. You and your brother should take care of it.
Many time siblings compare themselves and end up fighting with each other. that should be avoided.
I am happy you like your parents well.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
23 Sep 12
hello alberello, you are a good human being, there are lot many to learn from you, i am sure you will work on the differences soon, and make it normal and lead a happy life with you parents and brother. Yes parents need caring at some part of life, and we should be ready to help and take care of them. After parents, comes everything else, as they are the ones who understand us in and out, and not even a partner can understand us so much (except in some cases) .
@natliegleb (5173)
• India
23 Sep 12
you should not say like that,life offers some irritating moments,we must bask in it later to rejoice for sure
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
23 Sep 12
just think of the boy's position/situation who barely know the world and its colors.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
23 Sep 12
prashu:
In my view that boy is right in hating the mother -- mother who has given birth to this boy should try to bring him up to a certain level so that he can manage himself. Even birds when they give birth to young ones --they feed their young ones and then only go away. same thing with animals also.
there may be valid reasons for the lady to go away. but leaving children uncared for is totally condemnable.
Parents -- before giving birth to children -- should think whether they can give decent education, facilities for the child and then only give birth. otherwise they should adopt family planning measures to avoid giving birth to a child.
In this regard it is the poor people who are totally careless--they go on getting more children with none to take care. Nowadays a child means it will required -- $1500 p.m. in uSA/canada and roughly Rs. 10000 in India to give proper food, clothing, education. this is not taken into account. Government should be very strict on family planning. Nobody dares to talk about it for losing votes.
Sanjay Gandhi, son of Indira gandhi attempted well. he earned bad name and congress lost votes. So nowadays government is under playing family planning.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
23 Sep 12
yes,children suffer all through their life,because of parents ignorance, or anything else. If they don't have a proper plan, they don't have any right to hurt the innocent ones. some children may come out of the trauma, and lead a normal life,but some may develop into dangerous people in the society. Thanks for the information, i really don't know about it.
@else22 (4317)
• India
23 Sep 12
I would like to say,such a behavior can't be dubbed okay or undesirable.These words can't define it.I would say,it is normal and natural.If parents hurt the dignity of their children,they can't expect love and respect from them.The mother in the story you have told eloped with her lover without thinking for a second how negatively it would affect her son.Think for a while how the son must have reacted.He must have thought his mother can leave her for her selfish purposes.He must also have thought that his mother may leave him in a very undignified and insulting situation.Imagine yourself to be in the boy's place.How can such parents expect love and respect from their children.The story you have narrated here has shaken me.IT is really utterly painful.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
23 Sep 12
yes , i am with the boy. It was so heart breaking. Even the senior teachers and the principal felt so very bad for the child. He is just growing kid, don't even know the world properly, they need loving parents at this age, by their side. He was going on saying , my dad is very good person, but she left. I think she would have maintained good relationship with her children ,at least. she is a mother , and if mother ignores her children, where will they go to share their feelings and and thoughts in the world.
@else22 (4317)
• India
23 Sep 12
Exactly.Children deserve love from their parents.If parents cheat them as the boy's mother did,then it is but natural for the boy to hate her mother.He can't be blamed for it.If anyone can be blamed,then it is his mother who left him without thinking about him and leaving him is an undignified condition.
@deazil (4730)
• United States
23 Sep 12
It's a bad thing for children to have a parent walk out of their lives. It brings to the surface emotions they are not able to express and deal with because they are only children. This creates so many problems for them of an emotional nature. To have a parent walk out of your life when you're an adult is bad. Imagine how it must be for a child? To be abandoned is a horrible thing for a youngster. Children need to feel loved and cared for. And be made secure. The family unit is so important. The dynamics between family members makes it strong or weak, dependent on whether they (dynamics) are good or bad. I feel very sorry for this boy. He has many emotional problems because of this abandonment by his mother. And I'm sure there's a certain stigma attached to it because of the fact that she left for another man. How sad.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
23 Sep 12
The boy must be going though very tough time and he must be thinking it is because of the mother. I this it is natural for the boy to hate his mother. He must be sulking inside. I feel very sad for the boy and I pray that no kid goes through the same. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
23 Sep 12
yes, so much that he didn't even want to mention her name on the exam application. which decides his future. I think he was hurt badly from inside, he was crying so much, he was uncontrollable,may be he didn't open up about the issue, before, so he broke all of a sudden.
@titomeong (70)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
I think the boy must have a comforter and a parents of him. We don't even know, that boy will grow up just like other people who are using dangerous medicines and everything. I don't think, that boy really hate his mother, but for me, that boy needs a model or inspiration to reach his goal in life. Just like his mother who have been to him since in his childhood years, we all know about that, right? All i can say is may God Bless you!
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
25 Sep 12
yes, may be he didn't share his feelings before with anyone, so he broke all at once, yes, such conditions may change/take children to any extreme in life, the father should now be more cautious and spend more time with children and look after them,the boy may recover in this way
