I hate that man so much, I cant even pray about it !
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50970)
Holiday, Florida
September 29, 2012 9:42pm CST
Well, for 2 days and nights daughters bf, C, was drunk and high around here. My oldest son here whos house it is had told my youngest son and C. both that if he seen them around with a alcoholic drink, he would break their fingers. but i say what good is that if they drink else where then come back drunk. which is what they do.
Thursday, C was walking around red eyed acting belligerant with all but my oldest son he stayed away from. my daughter that tells me about everything admited he had taken some triple C while she was at work, then went across the street at a guys house he knows over there and drank some.then i heard him staggering falling over things that night. I heard him fussing at her the next day Friday and he went off over there again and came back smelling like he'd drank 2 bottles of rum and rolled around a pot feild. AND he started argueing with my younger son in the garage. my rooms right next to it so I heard them. I went out there and my youngest seemed to have had a few some where also. so i asked him to go back to where he'd been to keep down trouble, and even tho he went he threatened C. on the way out. Daughter came home and tried to calm C. down, but he was to drunk/high whatever and took off walking over to youngests friends house. He caused a big ruckus over there and my youngest son came out of the peoples house and busted him in the mouth. plus, the friends there called the cops on C. all this time, my daughter is running after C. and getting mad at her brother. she thinks its partly his fault. this time 3am, they woke up oldest son here.
well needless to say, he not only told C. he had to go when they got money this time but also my other son. said daughter was welcome to stay but she wont leave C. so because he wouldnt settle down, my son called the cops on him also,and they made him leave and of course daughter took him. She stopped in a while today and then left again to keep him aways from us all. i tried not to cry, but i did and she said dont do that mom.I'll be back from time to time and check on you. im close by.
But still its breaking my heart and i knew this day would come again. over the years she has been the closest and hardest to part with. each time i cry.so here i sit crying all evening again. at least im finally crying. flood gates as another mylotter called it. 
Thursday, C was walking around red eyed acting belligerant with all but my oldest son he stayed away from. my daughter that tells me about everything admited he had taken some triple C while she was at work, then went across the street at a guys house he knows over there and drank some.then i heard him staggering falling over things that night. I heard him fussing at her the next day Friday and he went off over there again and came back smelling like he'd drank 2 bottles of rum and rolled around a pot feild. AND he started argueing with my younger son in the garage. my rooms right next to it so I heard them. I went out there and my youngest seemed to have had a few some where also. so i asked him to go back to where he'd been to keep down trouble, and even tho he went he threatened C. on the way out. Daughter came home and tried to calm C. down, but he was to drunk/high whatever and took off walking over to youngests friends house. He caused a big ruckus over there and my youngest son came out of the peoples house and busted him in the mouth. plus, the friends there called the cops on C. all this time, my daughter is running after C. and getting mad at her brother. she thinks its partly his fault. this time 3am, they woke up oldest son here.
well needless to say, he not only told C. he had to go when they got money this time but also my other son. said daughter was welcome to stay but she wont leave C. so because he wouldnt settle down, my son called the cops on him also,and they made him leave and of course daughter took him. She stopped in a while today and then left again to keep him aways from us all. i tried not to cry, but i did and she said dont do that mom.I'll be back from time to time and check on you. im close by.
But still its breaking my heart and i knew this day would come again. over the years she has been the closest and hardest to part with. each time i cry.so here i sit crying all evening again. at least im finally crying. flood gates as another mylotter called it. 
6 people like this
12 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
30 Sep 12
Oh the pain our children can cause because we love them so. You say it is hard to pray about it and I understand, but how about praying for strength for yourself? G♥d knows that we are weak and in order to pray for others, we must have His strength to do so. I will also pray for you and perhaps you can pray for me, because I am in a bit of a problem as well, because I found by focusing on other people who are struggling, our own problems seem to fade.
My situation has to do with a service we accidentally are getting for free that other people pay for. When I noticed the bad influence of this service on my son, I stupidly threatened to call it in, but my husband forbid me to do it. So if we loss this service, my husband will blame me, but at the same time, it is affecting the family because it is wrong for us to keep using this service..:(
I will pray for us both, and believe in the end, it will work our for His glory..

@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Oct 12
i just prayed for you and will continue to do so. the reason why i cant pray for not hating him is that my heart is so agaisnt him right now. and i know that from experience with this man C. if you have any kind of forgiveness or softening of heart toward him he just gets worse and takes advantage of that situation.
before when i hate someone, i prayed about it and it always works. but this time i dont want to. because as soon as im nice to him, he just goes on to be around here even worse.
before when i hate someone, i prayed about it and it always works. but this time i dont want to. because as soon as im nice to him, he just goes on to be around here even worse.
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
1 Oct 12
Yes I know Bunny, I can't count how many times my heart was blackened by hatred towards someone that it was nearly impossible to pray for him or her. But thankfully His grace covers us until we can.
and thank you for your prayers, I appreciate it...
and thank you for your prayers, I appreciate it...
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
30 Sep 12
I'm sorry for your troubles, Bon, but would be glad he was gone & i hope he stays gone. I'm so sorry your daughter can't see what a jerk he is. I know u worry about what he might do to her or i would anyway. My ex was a drunk & meaner than a snake when he was. I was not going to be his punching bag any longer. I just wish she would get away from him.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Oct 12
thanks Jo. i really do to. she still is not sure what shes going to do about him. my son,Oldest , is starting to relent again. he so hates loosing her also.
it makes finances easier on him when they are here. actually easier on them also because where else can you have only $ 240 a month rent unless you are in a low income section 8 apartment? but with me, id rather pinch pennies again and do without some things, then put up with him or my youngests mess. 
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169439)
• United States
30 Sep 12
Pray about what you can and do not let your anger at him eat at you. If you let that anger overwhelm you he is still messing up your life and he is not even there. Turn it loose. She may see what is going on when she gets away with just him to hang on to. I am so sorry bunnybon.

1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 12
actually she just had him in florida and she hung on a year and a half before they came here. i suspected but didnt know just how bad he was cause she has a tendency to make excuses for him and believes he will change some day.
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
30 Sep 12
Well, you knew in your heart it would come to this before he left. He's such a leech that there would have been no other way to get rid of him. Now you have some peace and quiet and when your daughter does visit you can see her without him around.
I'm sorry it happened that way, I can imagine how stressful it must have been, but now your oldest should seek a restraining order so that they can't move back in and the police report will back up his claims of menace.
Your daughter needs to be away from you and her brother so she'll see how life is with C when no one is intervening or providing a cushion of civility. Maybe, if he's enough of a jerk without all of you around to inhibit him, she'll come back and leave him behind.
Either way, you have a peaceful household again. You'll be feeling lots better soon, mentally and physically. I know Coco will miss her but maybe, with most of the the tension gone, she'll draw even closer to you.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 12
well the police just told him to leave friday night. they cant move out till they get paid or should i say she gets paid
their stuff is still here. she just wasnt sure what the youngest would do if C. was in the house. so they got a room last night some where. someone sent them some money. maybe her dad. she didnt say who. it was pretty nice and quiet last night and i finally got some rest. after i missed her a while. funny thing even my youngest stayed at a friends last night.
so she wouldnt have had to worry. but they will be deciding what to do next i guess to leave for good.
their stuff is still here. she just wasnt sure what the youngest would do if C. was in the house. so they got a room last night some where. someone sent them some money. maybe her dad. she didnt say who. it was pretty nice and quiet last night and i finally got some rest. after i missed her a while. funny thing even my youngest stayed at a friends last night.
so she wouldnt have had to worry. but they will be deciding what to do next i guess to leave for good.1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Sep 12
oh bunnybon I wish there was something I could do. you do not need this after all you have been through in your life. women what does she see in this drunk and pill taker? she just seems to enable him to be even worse.Is there anyway the police can intervene to keep; him out of your house, maybe a restraining order against
him.I know it hurts your daughter really choosing this cretin over her own mother. this is a horrid turn of events for sure.at least
with C out of the house hes not being such a bad influence on your youngest son.I wish I could wave a
a magic wand and make
things all better for you. hugs from hatley
a magic wand and make
things all better for you. hugs from hatley
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 12
thanks Hatley. the problem is i knew some day it would come to this if she wouldnt give him up. ive known all along i guess that to get rid of him id likely have to give her up to a degree. we have always been very close and i like having her here but not him. 
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36847)
• Pamplona, Spain
30 Sep 12
Hiya bunnybon,
Sounds like of better the situation or person that you know and love the most at the moment kind of thing.
When the time is right she might let go of him and she might well not.
Us humans are like that I guess. She cannot probably see what is wrong with him at all she sees through another person´s eyes and not yours.
Let her go and she will probably be much better all the way round with everyone as well especially you.
If she does not cry don´t you cry as well. I can well understand in that sense how you might feel because I have had to lose people that I really got on well with but circumstances pushed them away.
It could well be for your own protection in a way so you can start to live your own thing instead.
Of course I am only saying that you know.
It does hurt of course it does but you are number one for you so maybe life is trying to show you that you can be so much more by being and living for you.
Hope things have calmed down now.
I see a lot of that kind of situation go on around me and I do not live in any City how does that get ya?xxx


1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 12
im just very close to her even tho i dont understand her sometimes.

@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
30 Sep 12
I am so sorry you are going through this, but you also don't need all the stress from the drama either. I sure don't blame your son for making him leave, as I would not put up with it either. I hope all works out.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 12
i know its for the best and all that can be done but i just love and miss her so much when shes gone. 

@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Oct 12
I know it is hard and tearing you apart. But it is best C or whatever his name is stays away. Unfortunately, you can't pick your daugther's boyfriend, but if he ever as much as lifts a finger to her call the cops and make a report.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Oct 12

@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
6 Oct 12
Sorry I'm so late Bon, I'm still in catch up mode.
It's terrible you have to go through all this. What's up with your daughter? Can she not see the damage this guy does to her family? Thank goodness your older son has some goodness and will not tolerate his antics.

@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 12
the thing is as good as my son is, he doesnt like to have to take me places and cant always be there for me because he cant take time from work and be paid for it.
so im pretty up the creek when she goes. unless she still comes and does for me.
so im pretty up the creek when she goes. unless she still comes and does for me.
1 person likes this

@shaggin (74988)
• United States
1 Oct 12
My kids are still young so I dont have any words of advice for you :-( As a parent though I can imagine how much what happened is hurting you. Sounds like your daughters bf is into some awful stuff and causing problems ripping your family apart. I hope your daughter will be ok wherever she is staying.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Oct 12
me to. she stopped in for a few minutes tonight.
we are thinking about another family meeting to define that one month everyone moves out. its so hard.
we are thinking about another family meeting to define that one month everyone moves out. its so hard. @dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
2 Oct 12
It sounds to me like C is bad news and he is not the kind of man that your daughter needs to be with. However, we also know that there is really nothing that we can do about the decisions that our children make when they are adults.
I think that it is good that your daughter has told you that she will still be there to visit with you, however, I do also think that it is a shame that she won't get rid of her boyfriend so that she can continue to live under the same roof as you live under.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Oct 12
the thing is she realises it would be best to send him back to florida. but she had no money enough to send him back when she was so mad at him. now im not sure. she may move total out with him or send him back.
its so hard to work it out right now because of finances. 
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
1 Oct 12
Dear Bunnybon I hope you dont feel guilty cause you cant stand C.
I couldnt stand him either.
Maybe I am not updated well I thought that your daughter had wanted to move away with C as there was so much tension in your place but that info must be long outdated.
I admire you for the patience you had with C so far cause primarily its your own home and you are the one who should feel safe secure and comfortable in the first place.
You endured C for much too long in order to not hurt your daughter who seems to be a nice person.
Obviously your daughter still is quite close by when she says she wants to see you and check on you so you will have regular contact with her and C hopefully wont interfere. I bet thats better than having this junkie in the house and enduring his fits.
Hope the flood gates are drying up as you read my comment. Hugs to you
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Oct 12
i have stopped crying off and on. for 3 nights they rented a motel room. no place else to go.
then last night, she said could they come back till he gets a plane ticket cause she didnt get paid till today. no idea where she got money for the motel. shes pretty well fed up with him and im in the assumption that my oldest here is fed up with both younmg guy here. so, he has said one month to get another place to live at most
none have any place else to go. 
then last night, she said could they come back till he gets a plane ticket cause she didnt get paid till today. no idea where she got money for the motel. shes pretty well fed up with him and im in the assumption that my oldest here is fed up with both younmg guy here. so, he has said one month to get another place to live at most
none have any place else to go. 











