Smoke and Mirrors

So true. Smoke and mirrors are often devised to keep others from knowing your family secrets. I think it is a waste of precious time.

Yes, they always seem to pop out.

My point exactly!They will let the cat out of the bag one day.

You have certainly come a long way. I don't blame you for your lack of communication with the maternal side of your family. Do you think they really wanted you to turn out like them? I am glad that you have been able to stay away from them and not let them influence you. Life is short and we must do what we feel is right for us. Then only can we be happy in all things.

You do have an interesting family. You were very strong to over come this and live your life as you want to regardless of a perfectionist mother. Good for you and more power to you!

yes dear celticeagle. They wanted me to turn out like them. There only was one person who took me as I was and was very proud of me and that was my beloved Grandma who lived in the same house from the time I was 4 to the time I was almost 25 then her time on earth was up. My mother was a perfectionist who could not accept she has a daughter with physical limitations (problems with fine motorics due to beint premature). She tried and tried for years to force me to develop fine motor skills but they didnt come out. She wanted to raise a daughter who is a perfectionist in housekeeping, applying the same standards to her life as she had herself in her 40s and 50s, saying to me she pities the poor man who marries a lousy housewife like I was. Only because I did not wash the floor three times to the last nooks and crannies then calling it clean, she also abhorred that I was not individualistic enough, when it came to clothes or taste of music, she even forbade me to buy a simple Beatles Album back then when they were on sale and affordable for my small budget. She said things to me like: I dont ever want to eat at your place later. And why this? Cause I would only wash veggies once and not at least twice before using. She disliked me being me and set the standards for me sky high. Even when I clashed with my family as I married someone down the social ladder when I was 43 and he was 44, I was told by one of my aunts, what do you want, you mothers methods of raising you were perfect and she did EVERYTHING right and correct.

I didn't say I was happy with all the decisions in my life nor did you ask, but there is no smoke and mirrors I don't hide who I am or what I feel

I see.

So you are happy with all your decisions and all you have done with your life? That is great! Yes, I am glad they are doing better too. THen this morning he threw a major fit. But we handled it the way our therapist has instructed us to and it came out well. Happy holidays!

He threw a fit yesterday that was so bad I nearly had to call the police again. It was horrible. Afterward he was able to talk about it and actually cleaned up the mess he had made all over the livingroom.

Ya, I so agree about the man thing. I got married early to get out of the house and thought to show my love for this man I had to give him a child. I do adore my daughter but he hardly ever saw her. A couple times in her entire life! Life is short and it is good when we can lear early and not make alot of mistakes. But who can realistically do that? I am certainly grateful for my friends too. I have some very good and long standing ones. One I have known for over forty years!

I felt the same way about my first marriage but if it hadn't happened neither would my daughter. We do live and learn.

That is good that you see that way and appreciate what you have.