Are you a control freak?

I have been the matriarc of my family for nearly fourty years now. I guess I am a bit controling as I like things done my way. I also like kids to behave in a certain manner. Being impatient where kids are concerned I guess you would say I am a control freak. Not so bad that they won't go without my signal.

I do feel that I am a control freak at times. I really hate if I don't have control over the things that I am doing. Or when I am being hindered into progressing because of stuff that I really can't control. That's kind of frustrating and disappointing when you are enthusiastic to move forward and you can't just because of some things that you are helpless about. That is why I do love to have the control on certain situations and manipulate it myself. However, There is so much that one can only control and no one can really control everything. So sometimes you just have to put the control on other individuals as well. I am still trying to learn on doing that.

i dont do that.life would be harder for me if i do that.its better to give them choices for them to decide on their own what to do.

Its a difficult position to be on either side. :) I mean, if I control my father, and if any of my decisions go wrong, I lose my position forever. As to my father, having to consult me constantly must hurt his ego, so he is hardly likely to help me. At times, I feel I am, at other times I feel dad is. In any event, it is almost 50 : 50.

For someone like me, a mother, we have tendencies to be too controlling sometimes without realizing it. Coz we always want that the kids do things the way we ant it to be done. But I do realize that allowing them to do it at their own pace, will they realize that they can be responsible of their actions, too. Even if they make a mistake, it is part of growing up that they need to go through.

I think it's not a good idea to try to control people in the first place. You can give them suggestions or pieces of your mind but then you should leave them with the decision of choosing what they want to do with their lives. If you try to control people, it can get you frustrated when you get something that you do not expect. You can't change people either and it's rude to try to change them otherwise.

I agree.... You have to let someone take the lead in their own life, can't try to force anything upon them. I wish I could help people who I know are going in the 'wrong' direction, but ultimately it's their lives to lead. I can be a little bit of a "control freak" sometimes, but only when I know what needs to be done to get done -- like at work -- I have a very standard, efficient way of getting things done and I don't really like anyone coming and changing that (although I am the supervisor too, so that has something to do with it). I think having a small amount of a control problem is a good thing, though, it keeps things orderly!

Hi there Shavkat, What you have written is really true. Thus giving some limits as to when you will give decision and approval for other people. So as to teach them on how to stand on their own. Hence, they should also learn on how to be independent.

Well I believe that we can only give good advice to people. However, the choice should be their own. We can not and we must not with the "power" to impose on us to make others do things without which the decision is them. Similarly, however, we have the benefit of choice. Which is why we must not succumb to the orders of others without being able to express our opinion!

We can control specially someone in a lighter way called guiding. Controlling will mostly give a negative result especially for children, but guiding on the other hand is giving them a freedom to choose but we remind them the consequences or the result of their choices.

Do what you think is best, always adhere for peace if possible, peaceful settlement is good for both parties. A moment of pause, means big for the future.