How far is too far?
By ctryhnny
@ctryhnny (3460)
United States
January 30, 2013 6:57am CST
I put an ad on craigslist looking for a platonic relationship with a guy. I got quite a few responses but mostly they are from very young guys who are "into older women"....I hate that. One guy who responded I met about 4 years ago. He's my age, is a very nice man but he lives almost 40 miles away from me. I don't drive and even if I did I wouldn't drive that far just to see a man. He says he loves to drive and 40 miles would be nothing to him. I'm a very spontaneous person and don't see how it could work with him so far away especially when we get snow or bad weather. I responded to his email telling him that he lived too far away and he responded almost begging me to give him a chance. I haven't responded to his second email because I'm thinking about it. Since it's supposed to be a platonic relationship what if he gets stuck and has to stay here for any reason? The weather could get bad or he could have a problem with his car...anything can happen making it impossible for him to go home and I"m just not ready to share my bed with anyone. What would you do? Long distance relationship or nothing and keep looking?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
31 Jan 13
If I was looking for a man, you and I are about the same age, I wouldn't search on Craigslist. Could be risky. In our area we have a couple of dating services where all members are screened when they become members. Would be a safe way to go but am sure there is a fee of some kind. I agree with you about not letting basically a stranger stay at my house. If he is willing to drive to see you just make it clear there won't be any sleep overs no matter what the circumstances. This way he knows up front. I would also suggest you meet him in a public place. Can't be too careful with what is happening in today's world. Good luck and hope you make a connection.
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
3 Feb 13
Oh no. i have had this kind of relationship already - a long distance one and it did not work for us. we met here in manila and we were together for 2 years while he was studying here in the city. but when he moved back to his home town that is where or when our problems and communications issues has arised.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
31 Jan 13
Forty miles is nothing--especially not if the person who is doing the driving has a good motivation to make the drive.
I don't really understand why you turn to Craigslist for social connections, though. There are plenty of better ways to meet people--volunteering, taking enrichment courses, going to religious services in the faith of your choosing. Even a trip to the hardware store can be a good way to meet guys--for friendship or otherwise.
I was out today at an event, and I think that I met some people that I might actually be adding to my extended social network here. Trust me, it's not that difficult to go out and meet people--for friendship or otherwise--if you put yourself into a setting where you are comfortable and having fun.
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
31 Jan 13
the distance, 40 miles, is not far then i don't think it is a long relationship. Give him a chance to meet you in person first...but make sure the time for meeting is early then he can go home in a day, so that you don't need to worry about sharing your bed or not. If it is too late, he can sleep in motel or hotel for 1 night.
I wish you all the best...
@WakeUpKitty (8691)
• Netherlands
30 Jan 13
Platonic is platonic. So you can meet, let him drive if it's no problem to him, at a place elsewhere as your house.
If you might like eachother you can make agreements about when to meet, when not and what if he can't go back home (stay at a hotel or...). Even if you start knowing this man it doesn't mean you can't keep looking around for other men/friends in your life or?
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
30 Jan 13
If I am just near you I will drive you to that 40miles man. If that will make you happy why not. there is nothing wrong with that. goooooooooooooooo
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
30 Jan 13
You should be sure that it is fully understood what you mean by friends. Because it seems that these guys don't have the right idea.
If you decide to be buddies with this guy, have someone else there with you so that nothing can happen. He needs to book himself a hotel room if he wants to stay the night in your area and let him know he'll be staying in that hotel alone.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
30 Jan 13
Your 40 miles is not too long distance, mine was miles away but it worked. Although I cannot compare you and me but if you would try and would like to try to make it work then go girl. You are a woman and you know what you want, maybe all you need is to try other different things for experience.
