Being alone what concern you most ?
@teotimoponcerosacena (1550)
Philippines
February 5, 2013 3:46am CST
When I was young I always think of helping my parents, brother and sisters. To build a family of my own and be happy. I have achieved almost all my dreams. I have my two daughters both are professionals and is now with Office work. Later I have discovered I have a problem with my wife. I joined my My lot a week ago and I read and participated several discussions. One member of my lot brought the issue of her being alone and the other already 70 years old still driving a taxi for a living with his wife, their children showed no concern to them. I think of myself, I have done almost everything for my family but what ? if I am already very old. Both of my daughters are still single but they have planned of going abroad. I know I can't trust my wife. Her actions is far beyond of my dreams of having a happy family but that's life. But I am pretty sure my sisters.and more than a hundred nieces really love me. Sometimes I think of building a business to have an employees if not just travel now and then to my sisters placed, cousins and relatives or to the placed of my ancestors. I have visited it last year ( 2011) and I was amazed ow how my relatives treated me there. They are all soo nice.
6 people like this
13 responses
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
5 Feb 13
EVerytime i hear this I feel sad. I am sad that after working your life for the family the family won't acknowledge the efforts you have done. I am sad because later on they will realize that they need you too and they will realize the hardship you have underwent just for them to live, survive, study and have stable life nowadays. Sigh!!! such a sweet regret. Sweet, because of course they are family and what ever you did for them came from your heart and mind and you knew that they are your responsibilities. Regret, because "what can you have done wrong?".
Good thing the they are being compensated by your sisters and relatives, who understand you at this moment of your life.
well Sir Teo.. you will live the day. Always remember the Beatitudes. I selected a few lines for you...
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall he comforted. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness (and love): for they shall be filled.
http://www.pbministries.org/books/pink/Sermon/sermon_01.htm
@teotimoponcerosacena (1550)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
I have a good relations with my daughters. I don't feel speaking to my wife what I observed he is always doing the opposite. In words she is good specially in front of visitors or our daughters. She invent stories for her own sake i just wonder why. The best way I did is play silent no talks. With her attitude I am afraid she is not a person you can always rely. I don't use force or what so ever for I highly respect my daughters and sisters. If I speak I may not able to control myself so I prepare silent. I am just thinking of the future if no improvements.
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
5 Feb 13
still I beatitudes is my offer for you...
it is sad to know such stories. I just wish you well sir.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
What we have to do is plan for ourselves when we grow old because I would also want my kids to take care of themselves when they grow up. I don't want them to take care of me all the time. In fact, I want to still live alone and have my own life while I watch them improve their lives and reach their dreams. That would really make me proud of them.
1 person likes this
@teotimoponcerosacena (1550)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
Yeah that's true I am just planning what to do in the near future. I just want peace and for my daughter to be secured that's all. They are already professional, worked and they are understanding. I am not worried of myself I am worried for her. for her for she is still the mother of my daughters.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
5 Feb 13
I live alone and am not worried because I have my friends. What concerns me is if I have an appointment and sometimes things happen and they cannot make it, so I start to worry that I will miss going there because either they have to volunteer, work, go out of town because someone is sick, etc. But what happens is at the last minute, everything turns out all right because someone will give me a ride. I do have a sister-in-law that I would like to visit who is not that well, but do not have enough money to go across the country to see her.
Glad your relatives are all nice people. I have two sons and their families,but I am stuck in the middle travel rise. One lives over five miles one way, and the other over five miles the other way so the only time we see each other together is on Birthdays, and holidays.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9546)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
It is hard to be really alone, but in your case, as long as your daughters stay single, they will always be family to you. I do not know about your wife and your problem with her, but if it is something that you two can work out to repair, then you should go for it.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
5 Feb 13
Maybe you should talk to your daughters about your this, after what you have done for them perhaps they would be kind enough to think about your future also when you're already. As your daughters that you have given good lives, I think they will also think of taking care of you, maybe not personally but at least support what you decision might be.
1 person likes this
@teotimoponcerosacena (1550)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
I don't have problems of my daughters and we are on the best relations of father and daughters partly they already knew the story. I just remain to be silent and hope for the best. What bothered me is why she invent stories as if it really happened on what motive.For me I have no problem I can hold myself to the extreme. I am just worried in the future to come I pity her soo much. I just don't like the way she treated me and the family as a whole. So i just kept silent no talks. The future is what I always planned for the best not to me but to all
@asokavaradhana (256)
• India
5 Feb 13
Sorry to hear how you are going life.Not sure if you would talk to wife and try to clear things out could help family wise.But then good to know you have great daughters and other family relatives.Hopefully things will become better for you in coming days.Being single is always a concern be it for any gender.There are many concerns and questions on life like what choices to take and etc.Some of the cultures are oriented towards family and being single or even living together is taboo in those society.I myself single at times find myself isolated by my married friends in certain things.Its a tough thing at times, though i do not show it emotionally.For me , my main concerns are family,financial Independence.I am doing whatever is possible to attain both things although there are risks and challenges for all of these.Hopefully, i can reach these goals and make life better.As of now,i have no clue of how long i will be single or whether i would be single for life.There are certain things in our control and some which are not, we need to trust in Lord and move on with hope.Thanks!
@dandan07 (1906)
• China
5 Feb 13
As I do not have so much experience, even study in another city, I still can have many classmates and friends with me. I think if I have to stay alone for a long time. I will try to take some books with me. Furthermore I hope I can have several seeds and a place for me, so that I can plant some flowers and vegetables to make me feel have something to do.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
6 Feb 13
I am used to being alone and self-sufficient since I was young. But I don't know about the future and I do see my grandmother from my father's side who is staying at my second grandmother who is feeling like she is neglected by her own children. None of her own children took her into their own home and she doesn't have any money though my second grandmother provides food for her when they have enough money to buy. Still she feels neglected wishing that she were with her own children.
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
I have gone through some difficulties in my marriage,I felt that it has never been the way it used to be. Although we are in speaking terms, and the tension isn't as much, I would also sometimes think how would life be when I grow older. I am praying though, that even if we could not be the best husband and wife for each other, at least we remain friends and be lifetimes companions. I don't know if I make sense, but i do not want to be alone when I grow old.
I hope that you would somehow patch things up with your wife. And whatever the reasons may be, I hope that you will be able to rebuild the lost bond.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8691)
• Netherlands
5 Feb 13
I might be wrong but as I understand you never met your cousins etc before 2011? Is it possible they are nice to you because you have money? Because you visited them? Any idea how it would be if you were raised together, see eachother every day, if you have nothing to share, except yourself? About the rest of your life, might sound hard but this is what happens to most women. You raise children, you give up your plans, goals, your life, you support your husband and you end up with nothing. Even don't know who you are anymore. I think it's wrong (or should I say stupid?) to think your children will take care of you, be there for you. It's not the way it should be. children need to leave the nest, live their own life, go for their own goals. So I would advice you to start living. Go travelling, see the world, meet people, talk to them and find yourself. After that you can decide what to do next.
@ARIES1973 (11944)
• Legaspi, Philippines
5 Feb 13
Although I don't understand about the issue with your wife, I am sad that about this thing.
I am also thinking about that in the future. So there are times, I want to think of a way so that I could save some amount that I would be needing during that time when nobody is there to take care of me.
Although I want to think positively and to hope that everything will be alright if that time comes.
Let's hope for the best but let's be ready to face the worst. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@else22 (4317)
• India
5 Feb 13
I am the son of the second wife of my father.I had three step brothers.Now my parents are no more.As long as my parents were alive,my step brothers were pretending to be extremely loving and caring.My father expired first and then after a few years I lost my mother.And thereafter my step brothers started showing their true colors.They managed and conspired to usurp my share in the joint property.I knew what they were up to,but did not have money to foil their designs.I can't tell you how I was feeling then.Alone and deserted.An unwanted stranger in my own family.Now I am married and have two kids,a son and a daughter.I have got a job.Now when I am alone,I am concerned about the future of my kids and my wife.I have been trying my best to get them educated so that they may be self dependent.Worries are still there.
@sshiva95 (77)
• India
5 Feb 13
I really am not old enough in order to speak out of experience but what I can do is imagine myself in that kind of a scenario and respond. If you are a person who is fascinated by the work of God and men, then I suggest that you travel to all those places you want. But if you still have hope that you can make your family stick together, then you probably should work towards that goal
