A Blast From the Past
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (189820)
Boise, Idaho
February 25, 2013 11:05am CST
Over the week-end I heard from an old friend. It was have been great to hear from her if hadn't been for the following:
Back in 2009 I had gone over to her place and stayed with her for about three months. It was fun remenescing and remembering the old times and many laughs we used to have together. Then after I had been back home about a month she messaged me at one point accusing me of stealing some jewelry and DVDs from her. I couldn't believe it! Ofcourse I hadn't taken anything from her and couldn't understand why she was accusing me. We were good friends. Supposedly anyway. We had talked about such things. She knew my character and I certainly was not one to steal from others. So when she said if the items didn't get back to her real quick she was calling the police and would be filing a report I told her to go right ahead. I couldn't believe her nerve. Well, that will be four years ago in June.
So this past week-end she messaged me. She had the nerve to want my friendship again but still felt I had stolen from her. She said things like "If you had taken it", " I really wasn't sure","seemed like a reasonable assumption" and "suspicious behavior"(I was looking through my boxes that were still in the garage for some things). Then she had the nerve to say she had said she was sorry and that she could be wrong. NO WHERE IN ANY OF HER MESSAGES HAD SHE SAID EITHER OF THOSE THINGS. Then she says, "Well, I am sorry!"
I told her in no uncertain terms that I didn't understand why she was contacting me again when she obviously still felt I had stolen from her.( And now it was her grandmother's jewelry which she had never mentioned before.) Why would she want to be friends again with someone she felt had stolen from her? And why would I want to be friends with some who still felt I was a theif!? I told her that until she could stop making these comments about assumptions and suspicious behavior I didn't want to be her friend.
So now I sit here trying to figure out what happened? Why did she contact me again if she still felt I stole from her? What is the deal? Have you ever had someone you thought was a good friend accuse you of things you didn't do and then come back later and just our of the blue and expect everything to be back where it was?
4 people like this
15 responses
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Feb 13
It just floored me. Why would she want to re-establish a relationship/friendship with someone she feels she can't really trust and feels stole from her? It just doesn't make sense. Drives me crazy when things don't make sense.
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
I told her I didn't want to hear from her until she could be a friend and not keep giving the ennuendos. She said: "I was making a sincere effort to mend a friendship, no more and no less." but since I show no interest she will wish me well. Ugh! So big of her.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
25 Feb 13
Well, I can tell you something for nothing. she is not a friend and you do not need her in your life again. I woder if she is suffering from early dementia or something. This is not good behaviour. Do not trust her and be friends with her again. Sge sounds like she is seriously sick. You do not need her back in your life. I have not ever experienced anything like this in my life and hope that I would never have to do so.
2 people like this
@artemeis (4189)
• China
26 Feb 13
There's a Chinese saying that says - "Once a friend always a friend even if we are to go through obstacles of great fire."
So, we should never be vindictive to one another even when the other is wrong and offended us. Much more, when the other is suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's or other illness which she has no control over.
Friends are not whether you need them or not but they need you to make them complete even if it means to point out their mistakes.
I think your friend (celtic) needs to clarify things with her friend, sorry just my opinion.
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
@artemeis- needs to clarify things with her freind? I am the friend. I guess I dont understand what you are talking about.
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
No, I don't need her. She is weird. I am very hurt by her accusations.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
25 Feb 13
I would have told her to go fly a kite or worse. no, i have never had anyone accuse me of something like that & they better not either, lol.
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
Ya, I was in total shock because I had never either. She is too weird. I don't get why she even attempted this.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Feb 13
sounds a bit wacked. i would not trust her again either. like the old saying, with friends like that you dont need enemies. i cant recall anyone doing that to me but i do have a cousin that ive suspected a few times of photos and books. we are both and have always been loving books and photos of family and used to share a lot with remakes and such. but i would never accuse him unless i caught him outright. because i thought it could be one of the kids that has the same interest or my ex. anyway, this cousin has admitted a couple of times to taking some of these without asking.
still i love him enough to stay friends and forgive. just recently tho, for some reason he has become mad at me and broken ties. took me off FB friends and all. im tired of being the one to ask back friendship. so guess thats it with us.
sorry to go into all that. lol@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
I didn't take anything from her. I am not a thief. And what I really don't understand is why is she even putting forth an effort to re-establih our friendship when she feels I may have stolen from her. ANd she never mentioned this jewelry being her grandmother's until yesterday toward the end of our conversation. Now why, if this was such important jewelry to her, wouldn't she have mentioned that aspect of it before? I don't really think there was even anything taken. I think she was mad that I left when I did and was getting back at me.
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
25 Feb 13
That was some pretty messed up "friend" you have right there. And thank goodness you are no longer friends with her. I know it sounds rude, but she doesn't sound like someone I would want to be friends with. I am sorry that this has to happen to you. I am sort of glad that despite my weird ex-friends, it hasn't come into a point like that. I also can't think of one good reason why she needs to contact you again if she still thinks you took her stuff and doesn't even have sincere feelings of remorse for what she did to you. Maybe she doesn't have anybody else, I wouldn't be surprised given her attitude. You are just right in staying away from her. Who knows what else can she do to hurt you. Until she showed that she has changed, then it will be better to minimize contact with her.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
At one point she said she wasn't trying to justify herself, just telling her side of things. Well isn't that justifying? She is a loon! I am thinking she doesn't have any other friends. Not like she and I were anyway. I remember she sorta made me feel like she was lowering her self to spend time with me. Weird. Glad she isn't in my life anymore.
@inopiratum_a_medio12 (877)
•
25 Feb 13
That's too bad, question is what made her think that you've stolen these things? sometimes we should expect the unexpected what we usually think is good turn out to be the other way around, she's no good to be your friend anymore even she apologize since you mention that her sincerity somewhat doubtful just Leave the things between you and her your friendship we'll be better off to others not like her you seems to be a very nice person to still understand her in some ways
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
For one thing she is paranoid. For another I took a box of clothes out to my car one morning when I was going to see my daughter and she felt that was suspicious. Plus I was also going through the boxs of stuff I had in the garage for a long time one day snd she thought that was too. And all the time I was there she and her daughter would make comments about where certain items might be. She had a garage full of boxes of her stuff and had had two weird guys helping her to move. Now why didn't she blame them instead of a friend she had had for 35 years? Or figure the stuff was in one of those boxes? I didn't take anything from her and I think as where being a LOON she is absent minded.
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
26 Feb 13
Wow! I'm with you! That is odd behavior for one who says they are a friend. I always try to reverse it by thinking, would I behave thus and thus to a friend? My example is more often 'would I do that to my child?' than friend, but that's my life/history, but it was a turning point in understanding what things are ok and what things aren't, and so I suppose the same can be applied to friendship. If someone is my friend would I believe/assume they took something which is missing.. or perhaps missing. No! I think some people have stress living with others, even for the short spell you stayed with her, and perhaps this is how it came out.. As it sounds like some kind of psychological underpinings to it, to me.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
Ya, none of it makes sense. She isn't working with a full deck. She said stuff like that she wasn't justifying just telling her side. That is justifying! Some kind of psychological unpinnings to be sure. She always said her ex abused her and I can see why now. She justified and made ennuendo all through it all and then said she had apologized when she never had. She is weird. If she treated him like this I can see why he abused her. Just kidding. Never right to be physical but I see the frustration he was under. Ugh!
@wolfie34 (26770)
• United Kingdom
26 Feb 13
How can she have the gall and nerve to contact you after all this time? No true, real friend would accuse you of stealing in the first place, she was bang out of order and to actually have the bare faced cheek to ask to be your friend again? I would find it hard to be civil, let alone polite to her. Too little to late when it came to her poor pathetic excuse of an apology.
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
Yes, very poor excuse. I could laugh(and often do)if it weren't so pathetic. And twisted. I just don't get it!
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
26 Feb 13
Reading your post I am shaking my head. What is wrong with this person. If she thought 4 years ago her stuff was stolen she should have made a police report and thus given you a chance to clear your good name. Why is she coming back now to seek your friendship when she still believes you took her items. I would stay clear of this person.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
What is wrong with this person? Good question. I think if something REALLY was taken she might have made a police report. This just verifies to me that nothing really was taken. She just wanted to get back at me for leaving. She wanted me to stay there and run errands for her and help her out financially. I think she is wacko. What a waste of my time.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
27 Feb 13
Strange situation. I don't think I'd want anything to dpi with her, either.
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3089)
• United States
26 Feb 13
Did she think enough time had passed that offering you friendship again that you would admit to taking what she said?
Sounds like she's putting out feelers...offering to patching things up so you'd fess up to something you didn't do.
People are strange and it appears she still can't get her head around that you WERE a friend and her false accusations are what undid the friendship. Sounds like she needs a reality check.
I can't recall being that close to anyone to feel like was betrayed by them. The few people that I trust with my life are still close to my heart today and nothing like that has ever happened.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
Ya, back in 2009 she was that way too. Here she was falsely accusing me of stealing her and I was telling the friendship was over then and she would say something to the effect of "well if that is how you feel". Why wouldn't I feel that way? She really thought I was going to remain friends with her when she was treating me this way. You are lucky that no one has hurt you like this. We knew eachother for 35 years and yet she thought I would steal from her. AMAZING! Now my BFF would never do such a thing to me and I have been in her home many times and her many of her familie's homes. I am like family to her. I have never been accused of anything like that. What I feel is important is that I know I didn't steal anything from her and that's what counts.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
3 Mar 13
oh dear celticeagle...I guess I would not want to be friends to such a person as well who accuses me of stealing and continues to do so even when I can prove I didnt steal.
My situation may be even worse. I married someone who accuses me when things dont turn out in his life how he had wanted them to. I am always the culprit if things are getting a bit tough for him as life doesnt pamper all of us non stop but he thinks life should do exactly this. I endure it for 10 years now, almost 8 of them married and I wonder how much longer I can take this.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Mar 13
I hope you find the strength to get out and away from him and move on. Life is short.
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
7 Apr 13
I had a friend mad because when her mother needed help one day we couldn't help out. I was in charge of taking care of mentally ill patients and my husband was in charge of a movie theater running the movies so neither of us could leave to help. Her own children didn't go and help her either. They ended up calling a tow truck. Now if either of us had been off we would have gone right away to help them, but she is still a little mad over it.
1 person likes this
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
7 Apr 13
I can understand that sometimes we find out selves stranded now knowing how to ask for assistance or if they will even help. I will tell you something my parents told me. Ask, the worst thing they can say is NO.
@maurya83 (923)
• India
27 Feb 13
all her strange behavior shows she has a troubled mind, i havn't exact same situation in my life but i have experienced such people..and trust me, they never can be trustworthy.. If i were you, i wouldn't give it a second chance knowing what she really thinks for me, my mom did this mistake, she gave a second chance to her friend and you know what, she got a bigger shock, much more pain than earlier..
Here is a saying in our native language which means, the thread of relation is very delicate, you can't tie this thread if broken once, if you would tie it will have a knot forever in between..
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Feb 13
That saying is so true. There is a knot there now and I doubt it will ever be untied. I would never trust her not to find fault with something again. And her ennuendos tell me she still believes I stoled from her. So I don't understand why she is even attempting to re-establish a friendship with me. If I thought someone had stolen from me I wouldn't want them around and I couldn't feel comfortable with them any more. She must be really needy.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
25 Feb 13
As I am sitting here, reading your discussion..the one thought keeps echoing thru my mind...Thank Goodness, this has never happened to me and I am sorry you are faced with this dilemna.
I do know myself well enough to know that "I would NOT waste my time with any more thoughts of this individual" I think is is horribly repugnant, that she demeaned your character..never followed up on it, giving you a chance to clear your good name..and now, without a word of apology, expects you to "welcome her back in your good graces..NOT!" That is a serious moral character flaw, and I would be concerned that she was setting me up for another fall, again. The good times were great...but I am sure even they are tarnished with this wicked deed done to you.
Not in my life, my friend would she darken my door, ever again. 
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Feb 13
It does make me wonder what she is up to know. Doesn't make any sense. I would wonder too if she is setting me up for another fall and this time she does it better and does bring the police in. I don't trust her and she won't darken my door again. She is one wacko woman!
1 person likes this
