A good friend just leaves?
@ricki_911 (21625)
Toronto, Ontario
August 12, 2015 1:00pm CST
I have known this girl for a few years now, we use to talk every day. She would always be talking several times an hour.
She just had a melt down, broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years, moved about an hour south to her moms. Which is no issue with me, I said I would come see her.
But she started dating this girl, since then she basically hasn't talked to me. I can post something on her facebook and she will log in but not reply. I texted her the other day, and usually she replies right away or within a reasonable couple hours. I still haven't heard anything.
I have mentioned this to her, and how it really upsets me. She doesn't talk to me or include me in anything like before. She just basically just stops talking to me, and ignores me.
I know she has some mental disorders, and stopped her meds about January of this past year But she has never gone this far. I have invited to do things and she will say ok I will be there, then change her mind repeatedly. Last week in 2 hours she was coming then not coming 6 times.
I am just getting to the point where I am not going to even ask her anymore. I have tried asking others their opinion, and what I should do. But it's a big change, but I am doing other things without her. I have posted things on facebook and showing her how she is acting.
4 people like this
3 responses
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
13 Aug 15
I nearly wrote just what @TLChimes is writing. She is a broken person right now, and you can be there when or if she needs you, but do not let it take over your life and bring you down.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Aug 15
You can't fix what is broken between you because it is something broken in her. My best suggestion is to 1. Send one more text to her that says that you wish her well and that you will be there for her when she is ready. OR 2. Just stop. Don't make any more effort and if she wants to, she will come back when she is ready. And by then you should know if you want to try and repair your part in things.
Remember that you tried. Remember that it isn't healthy for you to hold on too tight while she pulls away. Remember that it is ok to be hurt and mourn the loss of what was but that youcan be happy again with the life that has yet to be.
You can overcome this.
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
13 Aug 15
I did just that.
Part of this I am expecting is from her breaking up her 7 year relationship with a guy, and now dating a girl. This girl is very controlling, and she has admitted this to me a few weeks back.
She knows where I live, and my number.
I thought I had done something but I realize I haven't. It's just her, and she is the one pushing everyone away. It's not just me, but a handful of people have came to me and said this about their own friendship or relationship with her.
2 people like this
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
13 Aug 15
@TLChimes I guess I was worried she was mad at me or I did/ said something. As the steady routine we did certain things, or talked all the time. Suddenly she just dropped off the earth.
But now I realize it's not me, it comes back to her. She made that decision, and is acting on it.
But because she had to move 45 minutes away. I think she just wants to leave everything here, she doesnt want to bother with it. With her mental disorders she said to me before I just want to start over and get rid of everything. That wont solve the issues inside her head.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5945)
• Etowah, Tennessee
12 Aug 15
First. Stop posting things about her on facebook!.
Second. Stop texting her.
Third. Move on.
Anyone who doesn't have time for you, isn't worth your time. She knows how to contact you, and will if she is interested in continuing the friendship (or whatever)
I don't mean to sound harsh, but it seems to me she is blowing you of, but doesn't want to be straight n just say so. Save yourself the hassle and walk away.
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
13 Aug 15
I hadn't posted anything about her on Facebook, we would share funny things on Facebook or picture sort of thing. I just stopped doing that, and stopped texting her after she didn't answer me a few times.
She has done this to a handful of people she knew after talking to them or them coming to me asking me.
I told her the other day, if she doesn't want to bother. But she did say this new girl she was dating (she just got out of an 7 year relationship with a guy), is very controlling and I do think she is the reason for it all.
I started going out and talking to other people. She knows where I live and my number.
She has since burned a lot of bridges with people. I was trying to explain it, but she doesn't want to listen.
