Life can be hard
@rosekiss (30413)
Eugene, Oregon
August 17, 2015 4:22pm CST
The reason I say this is that eight years ago, I was thrust into divorce, and not by my chcoice either. I tried working it out with him, but he said that there was nothing to work out that we just weren't compatibale anymore, and this was told me after 35 years of marriage. I had heard of others getting divorced after many years, and I thought that it would never happen to me. Boy was I wrong. I have had to deal with so much, as I was used to things getting fixed that needed it, and now I have to find a professional to fix what needs fixing. Well, I need my dishwasher fixed as it leaks, but I refuse topay someone as I don't have the money for one thing, and I figured that since it is just me, I can wash them by hand. Heck I did that in the early years of our marriage when the kids were little, so it isn't all that bad, as I don't make all that many dishes. It is hard being by myserlf, as I get very lonely, but after eight years, it is becoming easier to accept. One goodthing about it all is that we are still frineds, and he feels that for the kids sake, it would be better if we were. Our son has a good relationship with his father, but our daughter on the other hand, won't talk to him at all. She wants nothing to do with him, and it really upsets me, as life is just to short to hold a grudge. By the way, he asked me for a divorce on Christmas Eve of 2005. That was the worst Christmas ever, as I bawled and bawled about it. I hesitated telling the kids, as I just didn't know how they would take it. It was hard at first espeically for our son, but he decided that he wasn't going to hold a grudge, and I am glad that they still have a good relationship. When you are dealt a bad hand, you just have to deal with it and move on. I must say, that I am much stronger now, and the fact that we still talk and he comes for the holidays, makes it much easier to cope with my situation. I thak the Lord everyday, that he has put me in this situation, as I have learned from it. I am happy now, and I hope that I remain that way. Everyone take care, and have a great day.
5 people like this
6 responses
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
17 Aug 15
That was a hard blow to you especially after 35 years of marriage..But at least you are still friends and after all you have children together and now you have ME time..!!..I Love mine..
@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
17 Aug 15
You are so right as having me time is veryimportant. When the kids were little, it was all about them and my husband. I do enjoyhaving the me tme, as i don't have to account to anyone but myself. Don't ge me wrong, I would still love to be married, but at this time in my life, it isn't going to happen.Thank you for responding, and have a great day.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
17 Aug 15
@rosekiss I am happy not being married anymore so it has become very important for me to get to know who I am..besides someone's mother, wife, grandma or whatever..
off to make dinner..have a wonderful day too!
@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
17 Aug 15
@Rosekitty That is a good way of looking at it. I have grown accustomed to being alone, and I guess I will rremain that way. It is okay now though, sine I have had eight years to adjust to being alone. It hasn't always been easy, but God has givenmethe strenght to get through it all.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (153544)
• India
19 Aug 15
It is bad when one things all is well and the other feels there is nothing to hold on to. 
@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
19 Aug 15
Yea, I guess he decided that he didn't want to be married anymore, and I couldn't figure out why he waited so long, and he said that had been wanting to tell me for a couple of years, but didn't know how to tell me, until he decided to just go for it on Christmas Eve 2005. It was a real shock, and I cried for awhile, but the I figured it was no use even trying to stay together, as he didn't want to. He said he would never marry again, and he hasn't. He thinks about me all the time is what he does. Thank you for responding, and take care.
@allknowing (153544)
• India
19 Aug 15
@rosekiss What is it I wonder that he disliked so much staying married.
@rebelann (117199)
• El Paso, Texas
18 Aug 15
good for you, my friend did the same thing to her husband but she had someone in her sights to marry, her ex on the other hand was shocked when he was served the divorce papers ..... they'd been married 35 years.@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
18 Aug 15
He asked me for a divorce, and with the help of my son and daughter-in-law, I was able to serve him with papers before he even thought about it. He did try to get me back when the divorce was almost final, and I could have gone back to him, but I told him that it was to late and I was going; through with it. I am just glad that we still talk. In fact, he calls me everyday, and I think he still has feelings for me. I still care for him, but not sure I love him anymore. Thank you for responding and tale care.
@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
18 Aug 15
I feel I made the right choice, when I chose not to take him back. Believe me it hurt at first, as I so much wanted to, but I was so hurt at the time, and I just couldn't. I have had these eight years to contemplate what I would do should he want me back. I am not sure he would, but if he did, I would probably consider it, as I loved him so much, and I just couldn't picture my life without him. Now, it is different. I can take him or leave him. Thank you for your response, and have fun.
@TexanTornado (5573)
• United States
18 Aug 15
Wow! Double Wow! Yes, when you are dealt a hard hand, you have to learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try to move on. It's good that you have come to terms with things, and seem to be happy now. And who knows, there just might be another Mr. Right to come along. Don't close that door.
@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
19 Aug 15
I haven't closed the dorr to getting married again, but I am not going to seek anyone out either. I am finding that being alone isn't so bad, as I am only accountable for myself, and no one else. If I am not hungry, and I don't want to eat then I don't. I just like the idea of being my own boss. Thank you for your response and take care.
1 person likes this
@TexanTornado (5573)
• United States
19 Aug 15
@rosekiss All so very true. Being along has it's pros to it. The bottom line is, as long as you are happy and content, that is all that truly matters. Take care.
@rosekiss (30413)
• Eugene, Oregon
20 Aug 15
That is so true. I may be lonely, but I am not alone, as he is with me throughout the day and night. It was hard at first to realize that I would never have anyone to talk to, or do things with, but afte either years, I am coping quite well. We are still friends, actually better friends than we were when we were married. Life is just what you make it that is for sure. Thank you for responding and have a great day.
