My Possibility Book

United States
January 18, 2016 1:09pm CST
Today, I pulled out my possibility book. It was started some five years ago when I left everything behind in started a new life without domestic violence. We left everything behind, pretty much leaving with just the clothes on our backs. Five years later, we have a good home and better life. My possibility book was kind of a healing process for me. I couldn't talk about what happened much, because it turned my stomach into knots. We went through counseling to help us adjust, learn to cope. Over time and with hard work a new life was formed for myself and my children. While my possibility book helped me cope with loss, regrets and fears it also helped me look to the future. I learned to trust, hope, want things again. And when I say things again I don't necessarily mean material things though little by little we had to make our home look like a home again and not just a roof over our heads and a place to sleep. When I say things I mean, things within me... who I was... am... will be... When you first open the cover to my possibility book the headline reads," How To Change" I cut out things from mag. and placed them in my book such as phases and photos... Making the most of wearing time.... It's hard to explain all that one feels and goes through. As a suddenly single parent I had to learn to do everything myself. I fell into a sort of routine that was wearing me.. I woke, worked, slept. There really wasn't time to feel and heal. I had to learn to make the most of wearing time. Turn my days not into a routine but a life. One with personality, love. embracing moments, spreading awareness of domestic violence, rebuilding me, getting happy again..simply put... I had to learn too fall forward. As I flip through the pages now.. it's not only filled with my process of healing, but my hopes and dreams.. and that's where the name of the book comes from, "possibilities". I thought it was time to add a bit more to my book.. now five years in the making. Maybe you'd like to give it a try... it's worked wonders for me.. What You'll Need: Artist Book (Spiral) works best with blank pages Old mag. with quotes, pictures Scissors and glue Misc. Anything extra to decorate your book like ribbons, craft pieces. Have fun with it.. whether you're looking to heal, feel inspired or make changes in your life. It certainly changed mine.
8 people like this
7 responses
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
18 Jan 16
I'm glad you found something to help you through, and that you've been able to re-build your life.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Jan 16
Many people don't get out, my advice is "leave and never look back". To many people go back and it's a costly mistake. One that costs many their lives.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
19 Jan 16
@WendySpickerman In the circumstances you found yourself under your advice would be good. Fortunately I have been happily married for 50 years.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 16
@jaboUK That's wonderful news. I had hoped to only be married once. So when I found myself single and in a whole other time frame for dating I was shocked at how men were..are.. I was like.. "W#here did all the men go?" Seriously! Luckily, I found a good man.. it took me sometime but he is a true gentleman.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
19 Jan 16
this is a lovely idea, and thank you for sharing. Others walk paths that, while not identical, have their own shares of similar pains, it's comforting to see that there is an end.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
19 Jan 16
@WendySpickerman I guess I said that wrong, I didnt mean boom done all over, but more so that there can be a spot where things do look better. maybe a beginning is more accurate, beginning of new things
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jan 16
@Jessicalynnt My family still thinks it should be all over and done with. My reply.. yeah me too! lol
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 16
That is a common misconception. People assume it ends as soon as you walk out the door, but that's not the case. The court system is a failed system when it comes to dv..even now five years later my life still feels controlled by him. He is suppose to know everything about us because he has rights, but he does whatever he wants. He doesn't have to inform the court of any dui's which would in my eyes, my children at risk anytime they get in a vehicle with him.He's had three already and his drinking had a lot to do with dv.
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
18 Jan 16
That sounds a brilliant idea and one which has clearly helped you to heal and cope with your life - past, present and future. It probably means most to you, but I hope that it will also mean something to your children and will be something very special which will be treasured in your family.
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (8250)
• United Kingdom
23 Jan 16
Hi Wendy, I am glad you got out of that bad situation and have managed to move on with your life. Best wishes for the future. x
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jan 16
That is precious. I am so pleased that you got out of that too. I am also a survivor. I wish I would have been able to do something like that, but time would not allow. I also have had no time to heal and probably never will.
• United States
19 Jan 16
@WendySpickerman Yes I have flashbacks 35 yrs later.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 16
@TiarasOceanView Has it gotten easier for you to deal with those flashbacks?
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 16
Neither would mine. It was a matter of being an advocate for oneself. Victims of domestic violence have to speakup. I'm still healing, I still have nightmare of being right back in that situation. The more you heal the more the mind remembers, it's apart of accepting, adjust and learning to cope. Will I ever not have triggers, probably not, but I have coping skills. Do only what you feel comfortable with. There is no time frame when recovering from dv.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
18 Jan 16
Sounds like an inspiring thing to do. I'm happy that you have been able to rescue yourself and your children from a horrible situation.
1 person likes this
@paigea (36143)
• Canada
27 Jan 16
It is so great to read about what has helped you heal after having the strength to get out of that situation. I hope your message reaches those who need it.