Trying to understand people

@sissy15 (7703)
United States
March 18, 2016 3:16pm CST
I have spent a good portion of my life trying to understand people. I mean really understand. Understand why people do what they do. I have yet to really figure people out. I try to understand maybe for my own peace of mind. I would like to believe people aren't just horrible to each other for the sake of being horrible. I'd like to believe there's a deeper meaning behind everything, but honestly I have yet to really find one. If I'm honest some people are just bad people without a rhyme or reason. Sometimes there are experiences in their lives that lead them down the wrong path, sometimes there are mental illnesses, but there are times when people know exactly what they're doing, and choose to do it anyway. How can some people have so little regard for another life? I don't understand. I know I'll be here all day if I really try to figure it all out. My mind wanders to this a lot. I want to understand how everything works, but more important I want to understand how everyone works. I analyze everything, because I feel like maybe I can find some sort of deeper meaning behind things, even if I'm not sure there is one. Maybe my life would be easier if I just accepted that some people are just jerks. If I didn't have empathy for people, but clearly I'll never be one of those people. There are plenty of people I don't like, but I usually bother to try and understand why they do the things they do. Just because I don't particularly don't like someone doesn't mean I can't still feel for them. I might be a different person too if I had the experiences some of the people who have hurt me in the past have had. Maybe I'd be mean and bitter. I honestly don't know, because I'm not them, I didn't live their life, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my own share of bad things happen to me, and I didn't turn into a horrible person, neither did a lot of people I know who have had equally horrible things happen to them. I think the key to understanding people is in understanding who they are as people. Not just their past experiences, but how their brains work, which is nearly impossible as there are so many people. Clearly some of us are stronger than others. We all react to things differently. Our brains all work differently. We think and feel differently. It's the very thing that makes us all so interesting that separates us. Some of us are more open minded, and some of us are not. Why is it that we are so different? How can two people live through similar experiences and yet handle it so differently? Why are some of us stronger than others? How can we have these brains that function the same and yet so differently? I believe in God and I believe we all have a soul, and I know some people don't and that's their prerogative, but this is why I believe, because we're all just so different. I believe our souls play a big part in who we are. Maybe that's not scientific for some people, but it's what I believe. I've pretty much come to the conclusion I'll never understand people, but of course I'll keep trying, because honestly that's just who I am. Just because I know it seems insane to try and understand the understandable doesn't mean I won't keep on trying just the same.
6 people like this
7 responses
@celticeagle (123484)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Mar 16
I think that the key to understanding people is to know their background. I have spent many years researching serial killers for this same reason. Curious as to what makes them the way they are. Some just don't have human feelings and are devoid of empathy. There is a rare mental disorder that is where a person has no feelings, no emotions. I wonder if some people might be born with different amounts of this.
3 people like this
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I think backgrounds are part of it, but not all of it. I agree that serial killers must be lacking empathy, because I don't know how anyone who has empathy can kill anyone for no reason. I've done a lot of research on serial killers too, I'm oddly fascinated by them. I think there's more to it than background though, while background is a very large part,I think there's something more. Some people have horrible backgrounds and still make it through it all. People react to things different, and not every jerk has a mental disorder. Two people can live very similar lives but both people can react differently. Some can turn their lives around while others will let it tear them down. I think sometimes some of us are stronger than our past. I think our general personality plays a big part too. It's the whole nature vs. nurture debate, I believe both play big parts.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (123484)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar 16
@sissy15 ...I am 'oddly fascinated' by them also. I know that some get a thrill from the power over others and even the killing. Snuffing out life and watching it happen is as fascinating to some as our fascination with them. I know they live in a fantasy world and think they aren't doing anything wrong. Many have mother fixations like Norman Bates. Truck driving is a breading ground too. I think the isolation must be part of it. I don't know if you have read it but the man, John Douglas, who started the profiling program for the FBI wrote a fascinating book about this called "Mind Hunters". He actually went into the prisons and interviewed serial killers. It was paramount in my growing interest in them.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
20 Mar 16
@celticeagle Well, some serial killers know what they're doing is wrong, but they just don't care, and I think part of why those particular serial killers is the thrill of getting caught. I have never heard of John Douglas, I'll have to look into the book. Ted Bundy is the serial killer that probably fascinates me the most, because he wasn't what you would normally picture when you think serial killer. He was so different from most of them.
1 person likes this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
18 Mar 16
I agree that some people are just mean and don't care about others, why they are that way is beyond me. We do have a lot of good people in this country and in times of need they come out in droves. I live in a somewhat small community, last month an officer was killed in the line of duty. The entire community has rallied around the family, people have donated to a.go fun me acct in excess of 100 thousand, stores and restaurants have held fund raisers for the family, a local radio station will put blue tape on you back windshield to show support. It shows that we have more good than bad in our community.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I'd like to believe there are more good people than bad, but there are times I'm not entirely sure. I'm glad that your community has come together and made you believe. I love hearing things like that, but then I see things like what happened in Ferguson and wonder. How can people protest violence with more violence? It seems idiotic. That brought together a bunch of people, but in a bad way. It seems bad things can lead to either the good or the bad in a community.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Mar 16
Its not insane I dont think Keisha. It should come natural to try to use our brain to understand others. It is the difference between non analyzing creatures. I think part of this is that having a conscience is part of being human. While some do not have guilt or conscience, it is having compassion that counts I believe. Understanding might be considered part of compassion for others. To be understood in this life is a gift or a blessing.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I think you're right, but I seem to analyze more than others lol. I like trying to understand everything. I don't know why, I think part of it is probably my anxiety and curiosity, but I think there are other reasons I keep analyzing everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 16
@sissy15 Oh sure, nothing wrong with being analytical..I admire that skill as a matter of fact.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
@TiarasOceanView lol I'm not entirely sure there's nothing wrong with that, when I sit and analyze every preschool show my son watches.
1 person likes this
@softbabe44 (5855)
• Vancouver, Washington
18 Mar 16
I think it starts with believeing
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I don't know, believing really doesn't answer any questions. I believe in a lot of things, but just believing I can understand doesn't make it so.
• Vancouver, Washington
19 Mar 16
@sissy15 I agree that it doesn't make it so but it sets for a lot of hard work.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
@softbabe44 I guess so.
@avi256 (5561)
• Pune, India
23 Mar 16
Its very difficult to understand humans and more difficult when the person is emotionally not expressive. How humans behave and think has lot to do with their childhood orientation. But again one child may be different from other in his/ her approach to things, I think that is how the nature is. Each person is born with a unique characteristic and personality.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
23 Mar 16
I agree, I just try to understand people as a whole. What is it that makes us so different and yet so similar to each other, why it is we do the things we do. It fascinates me and I like to try and understand where people are coming from.
1 person likes this
@avi256 (5561)
• Pune, India
23 Mar 16
@sissy15 I think there are some questions that will remain mysterious ever, The more you try to find out, the more mystical it gets..
1 person likes this
@AkoPinay (10169)
• Philippines
23 Mar 16
I just try to accept different people but not to understand
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
23 Mar 16
I try to do both. It's sometimes easier to accept someone if you can at least partially understand them.
1 person likes this
@Bluedoll (16932)
• Canada
18 Mar 16
Sometimes we find the reasons, sometimes we don't. I saw this ugly guy on the bus one day who was in a bikers gang satan's choice by name. He was lovin his baby. Who knows maybe he sold his bike. On the other hand I've seen nice looking but angry single moms hitting their children. What a world it is.
@sissy15 (7703)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I never use appearance to judge a person, just look at Ted Bundy. He was a serial killer who looked very well put together and seemed like a great person. Looks can be very deceiving. I try not to judge anyone based on anything but how they treat myself and others, and even then that doesn't give a clear picture of a person. A person can seem nice and pleasant at first look but still be crazy when no one is watching, again Ted Bundy seemed like a great person, that's how he lured in the women before he offed them. There's so much more to people than what we can often see. I often believe our actions say a lot more about us than anything else. I am not a very well put together person. If I could get away with wearing PJ pants and a T shirt everywhere I would lol. Heck I mostly wear a T shirt and Jeans everywhere. I run a brush through my hair, but that rarely does me any good, but my point is I'm not put together but I am a decent human being, or at least I try to be one. I'm not perfect, but no one is.
1 person likes this