True Story: A Bisexual Python!

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My dear friends, don't forget to check your "thrones" (toilet bowls) before you sit on them. You never know what is or are inside. Whew! Trending in Yahoo is a story about a 38-year-old man from Thailand. Furious mother nature called him so he ran to the washroom and sat, actually squatted, on the throne. He did not notice that a 9-foot python (most likely it is bisexual) coiled inside the toilet bowl enjoying Thailand's indoor cool water. The bisexual python may have sniffed the funky smell of the man's manhood. Its libido shot up; so without warning and second thought the gay python "grabbed" the dangling manhood of the Thai man. The man's wife ran to the washroom upon hearing the "yell for help" of her husband only to find him fighting the gay python which was exerting all its might to detach that dangling rod, which it may have found so irresistible. The wife called the cops and ran outside to ask a male neighbor for help. Fortunately, due to possible loss of power, stamina, and oxygen caused by the man's very hard grip on the bisexual python's neck, the snake unconditionally gave up and reluctantly released the man's dangling rod. The Thai man was taken to the nearest hospital and got interviewed by the nosey and noisy Thai media. With regard to the gay python the cops captured and released it to the wild to find its match. The man's rod is fine and no one is more glad, happy, hopeful, inspired, and thankful than his loving wife. I am wondering what a horny heterosexual male python would do to a woman in a similar scenario?! What do you think?