My Friend Doesn’t Understand

Tweet

I have a friend who lives in the country (a rural area). Every once in awhile he’ll ask me about something like having a car than doesn’t run parked in my driveway. I have to explain that is against the rules where I live. Since he lives in the country there are no rules like that. He can do a lot of things that I can’t because of rules. He can’t understand it at all. He keeps saying they are dumb rules and I should ignore them. I tell him that’s the fastest way to get evicted. Today he told me I should tell the powers to be to kiss off. Just because he lives out in the dingo weeds without any rules then he thinks no one else should be subject to rules. Every time he asks me if I can do this or that and I tell him I can’t because of the rules he becomes frustrated and lashes out saying things like, “That’s so stupid!” Today we talked about having an unlicensed, non-running vehicle parked in my driveway. Of course, that is against the rules. I told him the car would be towed away. Then he asked what would happen if I had a vehicle that wouldn’t start one morning and I had to wait a few days to get it in the shop. I told him that would probably be okay since it had been running and it was going into the shop. Then he said if that happened and they tried to tow it away I should call the cops. If I did everything my friend wanted me to do over the years here is a list of some of the things I would have in my yard: A still: he wanted me to make alcohol to run in my vehicles. Chickens: he thought it was a good idea for me to get fresh eggs. A water stove: This is a wood burning stove located in a small building along side the house that has underground hoses to carry hot water into the house to heat the house as well as the water in the hot water heater. Not have to mow my yard no matter how tall the grass gets. If my friend ever moved where I live he would have a tough time. He’s used to doing whatever he wants whenever he wants. He has several cars at his place that don’t run and are not licensed. He has goats, pigs and chickens. He has a water stove. He’s getting the parts to build a still to make alcohol to run in his vehicles. He thinks it’s stupid to have to keep his yard green and mowed. One day my friend was visiting. We were outside when he grabbed for his pants zipper and glanced about. Then he said, “I suppose I need to go into the house to take a pee.” I told him he most certainly did. He mumbled how stupid that was. I told him no one wanted to see his wang and if he got caught it would be more than breaking the rules–he would end up in jail. He went into the house.