The Building where my son slept

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I wish I wouldn't have forced my son to sleep last night, at least I wouldn't have been seeing him in the ICU bleeding so bad. My hands were shaking tremendously and my eyes were fixed, looking at my son with terror and shock. The anger and guilt I felt for myself kept growing more and more as the tears were automatically dripping down my eyes! I felt the rigorous shake in my body, someone shook me. I turned to find that it was nurse, maybe he's been here from more long. "Your head...blood...sir...you're injured.." It was so hard to even hear words properly, my mind only kept repeating 'because of you it happened', ' you're the reason your son is critical'. "Sir...please... treatment" he was still saying. Finally few words were uttered from my mouth, more of a whisper with the moan "save my son". I understood I cried like a baby without any sound, my hands shaking rigorously when I tried joining them "please" this time not a whisper "save my son". "Sir, we're trying" I heard his voice this time, clear enough, but I didn't wanted to hear this. Why isn't the words like 'yes we'll save him'? "Aaahh" weeping like a baby I sat down, becoming more tough for nurses to help me take to the treatment room. Few male nurses tried picking me up, I went all weak "Its all because of me..e..e" the blames I gave myself inside, came out with even more hard cries. "Aahh" I continued crying. Seemed like no one cared, the nurses were only doing their appointed works. Others just stared. I almost made the nurse my pal for then. I didn't care which words were blurted out of me, I just said how I was responsible for my baby's state. "He said he didn't wanted to sleep that night. Why did I forced him?" I would lean forward crying, nurse would raise me up and bandage my head. It was supposed to be his birthday tomo.." I was talking looking at the wall till then, i turned to look at the nurse and continued "no, today.. today" I patted the bed for both the today's, and turned to the window and said "After all, after 12 its a next day". After weeping in silence for some seconds. I continued while looking at him, "He said, 'Papa, I want to be up tonight, I'm excited about tomorrow'. But I..." and cried again. After my wife's death four years back, my son was the only reason I was even happy. "I heard them say, the building did shake a bit before the collapse. Many did went out of the building and they were all saved from the collapse. Why I didn't say 'beta, if you want to stay up, its okay.' At least he would have been safe. Its 3 o clock of his 12th birthday, and look what gift I've even given him" -Ritika Mannadiar The above is a writing piece by me. I would like to know all your valuable comments on it! :)