~Walking On Egg Shells~

Your house, your rules. What kind of example are you setting for your children if you let a guest walk all over you.

I am sorry to hear that she is interfering where it is not her place to do so. It is your home, your children, your rules. It is not right for all of you not to feel comfortable in your own home. You took her in when she had nowhere to go. She needs to respect you as parents. She is simply a guest in your home. She doesn't get to discipline your children. I feel for you.

Bless your heart. Discipline is never a pleasant thing. But, like I do now, they'll be thankful when they're older. I didn't think that would be true, but it was for me.

What's disrespectful is the fact that she's trying to parent your children in your home, not telling her to stop attempting to parent your children. You need phrases to shut it down in the moment. "Aunt Mary, I have this covered." "We'll handle parenting our children." "You're a guest in our home, not a third parent for our children." Come on over and post on All in the Family on BabyCenter if you need advice on how to handle her. I'm good at the nuclear shut downs, but I know that's not the approach you want to take. The ladies there can offer some great suggestions since so many have dealt with similar situations. Something to think about, though: I know lots of people were up in arms about the fact that none of her kids are stepping up to help her out, but they must all have valid reasons. I'm guessing that you're getting to see the tip of the iceberg right now. Your husband needs to make it clear to her that she's a guest in your home and she needs to behave like one. Having someone there who undermines you as a parent is going to be detrimental to your kids. If she can't accept that she doesn't get to play matriarch wherever she goes, you might have to ask her to leave, too.

Being a parent is never easy

How long will Aunt Mary be staying with you guys?

I have a hard time saying no as well. It's something that I'm working on, but it's not easy. So, I can understand how you feel. Maybe if you talk to her and tell her how you feel, it may be helpful. I know it's not the easiest thing to do, but it could be good for everyone.

Time for a family meeting I think.Hope things get better. Good communication is very important.

I hope everything will work out. You should be yourself in your own house.

Do not let this aunt to dictate rules in your house. Make it clear that you have rules and SHE has to respect the house rules. If she has something to say to the kids, she must ask to you before.

My kids know my rules too, and for the most part respect them, but to have someone else lay down their rules in my house, doesn't bode well with me.

Having been away, I missed where it seems Aunt Mary is now living with you. That would be hard indeed. You will need to talk to her about it I think.

is that cool or hurt??

yeah...i guess children of that age will have a hard time adjusting to new rules... Is it a problem of noise? Because children will always make that..

There were hints about her meddling in others' affairs in what I read prior to this homecoming... that said, my personal feeling is - it's weird to say "you are just a guest, remain like that!" in this situation. Maybe you can tell her in clear terms how she is affecting children (and you) by her attitude, without mentioning the 'intruder' part. (In our quarters, that would be beyond offensive. But the culture there is different.)

I mean you are doing her a favor..so she can't just decide what the rules are.

I think it would be best to get your husband on board, and have a Talk with Aunt Mary about your expectations. That way it should be easier on everybody.

Aunt Mary needs to know the rules of the house she is staying in. A quiet chat with her privately would be a good thing.

we have our own rules, and we live with it and someone else's is..theirs to follow ;)

Uh oh a family meeting away from kiddies needed ASAP before it's too late!