Keeping useless things

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Every now and then I decide to have a clear-out, but still end up keeping things I never use but just can’t bear to part with for one reason or another. One example of this is cookbooks. I have kept several of my mother’s favourites even though I virtually never use them, just because they were hers. I have a book of Croatian cuisine given to me by a friend from that country about 20 years ago and I think I’ve tried it once. Then I keep trying to get rid of the two cookbooks shown, but after looking through them again I always keep them for their entertainment value. The first is ‘Good Housekeeping; Cooking for Today’, a substantial tome dating from the 1970s and updated for the 80s. This was given to me by my Aunt and Uncle for my 18th birthday, and I’ve almost never used it. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s full of good recipes as well as helpful hints on remedying cooking failures, choosing and storing wine, mixing cocktails, table settings and flower arrangements, menus for different occasions and how to serve a variety of foods. What always makes me laugh though, as well as really showing how dated the book is, is the ‘party planners’ check list’. This starts a month ahead with menu planning, finalising numbers, arranging sale or return of drinks and loans of glassware etc. Now for something like a wedding I can see this would be good advice, but for a party at home it would be rare to have even thought of it a month ahead, never mind planned it! The planner goes on to list tasks for a week ahead, such as cooking and freezing food, re-ironing linen and checking you have plenty of ashtrays and cigarettes, as well as making appointments for a manicure and hair-do. The day before apparently you should clean the silver and lay in stocks of tissues, cotton wool, hair spray and safety pins for female guests, and make sure you have aspirin, contact numbers of all-night taxi services, and a spare bed! I just love this – the very idea of setting out packs of cigarettes and cans of hairspray just evokes the late 70s (a period I loathe I have to add). Thank goodness I have never experienced a party like that! The second book was a church fund-raising cookbook given to me by an American colleague, comprising favourite recipes contributed by the congregation. I never use this either but love it for its amusement value. The section on ‘Sweet treats’ for example is about five times the thickness of the ‘Vegetables’ section, and many of the recipes seem to have been provided by people who don’t really cook. There are so many recipes made with prepared stuff, like casseroles made with cans of condensed soup, and ‘Thanksgiving mashed potatoes’ prepared with instant mashed potato and cream cheese. The ingredients for pineapple cake are one pack of angelfood cake mix and one can of crushed pineapple. My favourite section though is the salads. There are some dishes in here that I would recognise as a salad but some really stretch my understanding of the term. For example 'Cherry gelatin salad' (one pack cherry gelatin, boiling water, one can cherry pie filling) or 'Caramel apple salad' (3 apples, 1 tub cool whip – a sort of cream substitute – and 3 Snickers bars). Healthy eating this is not! All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2016.