Do you ask for your parents' permission in everything?

As a rule of thumb, no. While I was living under my parents' roof, yes, I pretty much had to consult them in what I did, but that quickly ended with me going to university at 18. From then onwards, I live fairly independently, all the decisions big or small are made by me, I only inform them after the fact. It's more for their information than their permission. They of course always give unsolicited advice which, I will sometimes pay attention to if it makes sense. I think as parents it may take a while for them to realize that you're no longer their responsibility. So that they really don't need to account for your mistakes, problems etc.. in other words, they should just let go, and stop approving or disapproving your choices. At the same time, they should really shift their focus back to their own lives, and see what they can do there to improve it. They really shouldn't hope to live their lives through you or that your relationship will fulfill all their hopes and wishes. All in all best luck with your mum. It took my Dad like 10 years to let go, but he is happier for it.

I'm sorry that you are having problems with your mom, but I think she is completely wrong to try to control your life. She should be encouraging you to be independent, to see the world. Here is a quote from the Dalai Lama - "Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back to, and reasons to stay". My daughter posted that onto Facebook for me, and added her own words "That's what you gave me Mum, and why I still come home every year". She lives on the other side of the world from me, and I wouldn't have dreamed of trying to clip her wings. We have a wonderrful relationship. Another quote, from William Blake this time "He who binds to himself a joy, doth the winged life destroy".

at my age?hell no. the shape my mother's in anyway,she's lucky if she knows what day it is.

how many days will you be away? will your mother be home alone while you're gone?

When I was young I had to, but when I turned 18 hell no. I was an adult and made my own decisions and have stood on my own since. I may ask for her advice, some times I take it, sometimes I do not. Either way she respects my decision because I am grown and it is my life. I wish you luck in this situation.

Its not about permission, but it's okay to tell them if we are planning something. That way, they feel their opinion matters to us. Specially moms, as they are more attached to kids. Though i never asked for permission from my parents once i grew up, but i did tell them things i was planning or might do. I kind of knew what my parents won't mind and what they would, and never did things that would hurt their feelings :)

I know sometimes we all have different opinions with our parents. In fact both sides need to learn how to be understanding to each other. I agree that you are old enough to make your decision. And sometimes we don't need parents' permission but we just need their suggestion only. It is just a kind gesture we ask for their "suggestions". Actually no matter they approve it or not, we already made the decision at heart.

Maybe she got hurt by your not asking her permission first in travelling with your boyfriend , so that's why she's always irritable with you . Have you apologized to her when she got angry for knowing that you will be travelling yet didn't ask her permission first . The fact that you are living with her and she's your mother , you still have to tell her your plans whether she agrees or not . That way , she will still feel important in your life .

When I was younger I really did. But I could not tell that I did ask permission for almost everything.

YES, when I was young (not married) things went like that, I had to ask permission for everything. I suppose this is why I married that I was only 20.

It's tough sometimes with parents that are alone but you must think about your future as well and don't want to build resentment.

Hm, it depends how old you are. If you're underage (here it's 18) then it may be good to tell beforehand of big plans. However if you're of legal age in your country then you are right - there is nothing wrong with being polite and telling her of your plans. Either way it sounds like she took it hard - I hope things improve.

I think your mum is sad because she knows you are now out of her reach... She is losing you, and because of her not be able to share her feelings with you, she gets angry in everything you do. Go and give your mum a big hug and have a good mother daughter talk. I'm sure she will open up. Goodluck.

That's pretty rough. I started college pretty early, I was 15 and for the first time in my life I was away from home. Since then I was independent. But I always tell my parents where am I going specially when out of town since if something happen.. Atleast, they know why Im there. I never really ask permission. And Mom would be like "Just keep safe". Whenever I come home, that's the time I ask permission. Maybe its not that your going out of the country shes against with. But maybe she doesnt like you vacationing with your boyfriend. Some parents are still strict with those.

If you are an adult and hold a job, you are not answerable to your mother in that respect. You should be able to travel when you want and use your computer as you want. I think it's time you stood up for yourself.