Should I Select GAY or BISEXUAL?
By Mary Ann
@therealmaryyy (3162)
Philippines
January 9, 2017 4:44pm CST
i'm about to start a new Dating Profile.. first step.. I AM A-- a drop-down. options are straight (of course, I'm NOT), GAY, BISEXUAL, asexual, demisexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, lesbian, pansexual, queer, questioning and sapiosexual.. 4 of those options; i have no clue who came up with those 'titles' or labels.
Anyway... i am honestly confused and pressured at the same time to putting a 'label' on my sexuality. my gender preference. she/her? her/she? what's the difference? i don't know. i maybe a Lesbian. Ugh!
i go with BISEXUAL because i still FEEL attraction and still get attracted to Males. straight males. BUT. after what happened from my previous 'relationship'.. i really have a deep thought of my sexuality. i understand that if you refer or say GENDER per definition (that human beings made) is the state of being male or female. MALE or FEMALE. i could say that my 'sexuality' is more of being happier when i'm in a relationship with a gay or lesbian or bisexual Female. so obviously i'm never gonna be a straight woman EVER. because NO straight MALES could ever make me feel at ease, comfortable, happy and satisfied. i am HONEST with myself when I'm with a Woman.
if anyone of you is offended in some way of any of my statements or the choice of words.. i apologize. but i'm not apologizing for BEING HONEST of what i feel and with what i believe in.
9 people like this
9 responses
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
9 Jan 17
All these kinds of sexualities have always been here they are just now getting names. I cannot think of such things as a label, I mean human in a sense is a label, you are biologically a human. You just have to be open minded when it comes to these titles. These are just names addressing what that chemical balance in your brain chose for you to love and feel and be attracted to. I am pansexual and I am proud of it.
3 people like this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
9 Jan 17
society in general is like pushing and pressuring people to have labels. to avoid confusion and maybe identity.
i know that i shouldn't be overthinking about titles or labels. i should be thinking of fully accepting the real me. i used to just think that i am bisexual cause of the feeling of attraction to both gender. but i got to the point of realizing that i am FORCING myself to be with men cause that's what NORMAL to the eyes and thinking of most of the people.
i am happy that you are proud of being Pansexual :)
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
@therealmaryyy it isn't pressuring. This is one thing they are not pressuring. It is more about self discovery. If you want to say simple and got for the 3 sexualties of straight, gay, and bi. That's okay. If you want to learn more of what a person could be, go for it.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
9 Jan 17
My opinion is that your answer should be based on what you're looking for. Being that it's a dating profile, and you said you're more comfortable with women, then I guess you should put that you're gay.. unless you're looking to hook up with men also.
The question is who will you attract with that answer? If you put that you're bisexual, will that turn some women away? If you put that you're lesbian obviously you will probably not get many responses from men..
So what are you ultimately looking to accomplish with this profile?
Of course you could always put in a generic answer like "bisexual" and then fill in some more info in the bio..
I honestly don't know what half of those titles mean...
2 people like this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
9 Jan 17
You really have great points there! THANK YOU!!
i want to meet new friends. friends who Gays, Lesbians and Women who are looking to be with or want to be with Women....
I'm definitely not interested in meeting men.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
9 Jan 17
@therealmaryyy Well then I think you have your answer. Once you meet a couple women and start to get to know them you can fill them in on the real you..
1 person likes this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
9 Jan 17
@katsmeow1213 i know that i know the answer.. i'm just too scared to really admiy that i am gay.
@DWDavis (25797)
• United States
10 Jan 17
I don't find your topic offensive at all. You are being open and honest. I do, as you did, wonder at who came up with some of those labels. "Heteroflexible," "Homoflexible," sound like they might have more to do with ability to perform in contorted positions than with sexuality. Why don't they have a category called "Open," that would mean you're not sure where you fall on the scale, but you're open to try a relationship with the right person without regard to which equipment they happened to be born with?
2 people like this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
10 Jan 17
Thank you!!
Other dating site have open option but this one hasn't...
1 person likes this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
10 Jan 17
@DWDavis You have a good point and i don't mind if you'll be like or sound like a 'Dad'.. dating sites does stressed- sometimes. i get anxious as well- if someone i knew or i know will come across to my account and read all the details that i put in. hahaha
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (25797)
• United States
10 Jan 17
@therealmaryyy Not to sound too much like a Dad, but I've been thinking this dating site may not be a good fit for you, being that you already seem uncomfortable with it. With all those options it seems the folks who use this particular site define themselves rather narrowly whereas you seem more willing to be open to diverse possibilities. Perhaps it's just me, as I am not familiar with some of those terms people have invented to let them more precisely label themselves.
1 person likes this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
9 Jan 17
@sabtraversa OMG!!! Are those gender options necessary?! Haha. That's too many!
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (25797)
• United States
10 Jan 17
@sabtraversa I sympathize with your frustration. Gender is about chromosomes. What people think they are, if it is different from what their chromosomes tell their cells to grow as genitalia, that's due to a chemical/hormonal imbalance in the brain at some point during fetal development. This makes it no less real, but it doesn't truly change their gender, just their perception of who they are mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. And as we've so often heard, for each person, their perception is their reality.
3 people like this
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
10 Jan 17
I would have to look up what some of those words mean. I would be confused too, I am not offended in any way. We are all what we are, beautiful human beings.
2 people like this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
10 Jan 17
that's so nice of you to say! thank you! :)
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
10 Jan 17
@therealmaryyy you are more than welcome.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Jan 17
You shouldn't have to apologize for being who you are. Like you said, you are being honest. Nobody should fault you for that!
I have no idea what half of those titles mean that you listed! I guess I'm a little out of touch with the times! haha
It sucks that we have to label ourselves into specific categories, because it really shouldn't matter, but I do understand that since this is a dating site they kinda need to know who to match you with!
1 person likes this
@therealmaryyy (3162)
• Philippines
10 Jan 17
Awww Thank You!!! :)
We're all about labeling these days.. modern identification. Categorized every single people.
I have selected Gay!! Yeyy!!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@therealmaryyy Good luck to you on finding a perfect match on the dating site! Maybe you can find true love!
