Are lies ever alright?
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40230)
United States
May 26, 2017 1:36pm CST
Inspired by @JolietJake - I decided to write about lies.
Lies are an interesting subject. I've done a lot of thinking about lies.
See - I used to have a compulsion about lying. Even over little things - things that in no way impacted anyone else. For example, say I was chatting with a friend and I told them that I bought new jeans on a Thursday and - after seeing them - I remembered that I actually got jeans on a Tuesday. Well I would have to call them up and tell them. Even though I knew it was ridiculous. Or speaking in absolutes was another that would wind me up. "I always..." , "I never...". OH well, is that true that you ALWAYS or that you NEVER.....?
I agree that honesty is usually the best policy - if you lie once you are forced into lying more and eventually the truth has a way of coming out, anyway.
However, let's take certain individuals. I know you probably have some in your life too. My example is my dad. He has many mental illnesses. As you might have guessed - at times he is challenging to get along with. There are certain things that no matter how well you explain things - he will not "get it". He will understand it his own way (incorrect) and that is that. He has control issues with me even as an adult. If he had his way I would ask permission for just about everything like I did the first 32 years of my life until I moved out. I was prevented from doing/going to/ seeing / participating in a lot of things because - long story short - I wasn't allowed.
Allow me to clarify. None of these things were illegal or dangerous. Stuff like hanging out at a friend's place or going to local concerts. Even if I was allowed to go he would make false assumptions. Stuff like ------how he thought I was spending myself broke on drinks at these bars. How he thought I had a reputation as a prostitute because I would go to bars. ---- now. Keep in mind, most of the time when I go out, I order soda. Rarely, maybe 6 times a year or so I will have one, or 2 drinks in an evening. Not even drunk. As for prostitute - I don't go home with people, in fact men take a very active stance on avoiding me. So there. But he'd rage on for hours flinging these accusations (lies) around until I would do things like stay home and play therapist for him (what he wanted - me to stay home weekends and listen to his tales of woe) .
So, even though I felt bad about "lying" - I fail to see how , say - in the above circumstance telling dear old dad that I was going to a sewing night (an accepted activity) with "Lula" when actually "Lula" and I were going out dancing - does any harm. It prevents him from freaking out, hurting my feelings and not allowing me, an adult, to do things that are absolutely acceptable for an adult to do.
I ran all this by my therapist once - they told me that there is a philosophy that says to say what causes the least harm, is actually the best choice. I wish I could remember the name of this philosophy.
Anyway, that's my two cents... lying is generally wrong and I would prefer people be honest with me (without being intentionally mean) however I believe that there are situations where lying or white lies are justified.
What is your opinion?
13 people like this
12 responses
@Nawsheen (28761)
• Mauritius
26 May 17
If you would have told your dad the truth he would have been mad at you and this would have affected him too as you said he has mental illness. You did the right thing at that times. You lied for a good reason. I guess it all depends on consequences
4 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
That's a good point - thanks for your input. You're right, it actually helps him out too, saves him from being upset.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
26 May 17
love that song. yes there are times it is unavoidable and i never could understand people that lie just to be lieing. lol. i have known a few. i don't lie unless it is important i do. but i have the same problem with stealing as you do with lies. i always thought to steal something brought down the worst luck on a person. once a girl even left a perfume at my house when she moved out and she owed me plenty so i went a week thinking i would just keep it. some awful things happened to me that week and each time i thought it was from keeping tje perfume. needless to say, i hunted her down to give it back. lol

2 people like this

@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 17
@FayeHazel yes this learned lesson of mine even got me several jobs from a letter written one place i worked about my honesty . like turning in 50 bucks i found once and other valuable things
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
"Fleetwood Mac" has so many great songs, don't they? Oh that is an interesting compulsion about the "Stealing". I know I took a quiz on honesty in college. It had questions like "Do you take more than 1 free pen that a business offers?" -- Uh oh.
1 person likes this

@allknowing (153544)
• India
27 May 17
Even though people claim they never tell white lies there is no one on earth who would not have lied in their time. White lies sometimes save a life. Doctors are known to tell such lies.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
That's a good point, too.... I didn't think of that
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
26 May 17
Now that you did bring up mental illnesses I have to agree with you, if the lie stops the on going nagging then lie, lie and lie more
This is one area that no one can understand until they live it,
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
You are so right. I think living with someone with a mental illness is so far outside the normal experience that people tend not to get it. Sorry to hear - sounds like you had your share of it, too.
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
26 May 17
Sometimes we must lie, little lies are OK as long as there not harmful.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
I agree. Is that the physician's credo that says "first do no harm"? On all accounts I think it's a good quote for people who have issues with what is a lie...
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (59648)
• Philippines
27 May 17
I'd rather hear the harsh truth than be comforted by a lie.
1 person likes this

@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
I'd rather have the gentle truth :-)
1 person likes this

@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
29 May 17
If it will spare someone's feelings then a white lie is not a bad thing @FayeHazel . And I love this song from Fleetwood Mac!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381760)
• Rockingham, Australia
27 May 17
I agree totally with your views, including, in your circumstances, lying to your father. Like you, I find that one lie almost always leads to another - and then you have to remember what it is you've said.
But in general I don't like lying and I don't lie. I always feel very deceived if I find out someone has lied to me. And invariably liars get found out.
But in general I don't like lying and I don't lie. I always feel very deceived if I find out someone has lied to me. And invariably liars get found out.1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
1 Jun 17
I'm happy I was able to type out my thoughts accurately. :-) I don't like doing it - but in some cases I think it is justified.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43567)
• Denver, Colorado
26 May 17
I'm not to fond of people that got caught lying to me.
1 person likes this













