Support Groups That Aren't Supportive
By StacyB
@Srbageldog (7716)
United States
May 28, 2017 8:13am CST
Have you ever joined a support group online reaching out for -- well, support! -- only to have all of your posts completely ignored by all the other members? This keeps happening to me. It's very discouraging to say the least. Recently I joined an endometriosis support group on Facebook, since the surgical menopause group I'm in keeps largely ignoring me (perhaps because I haven't actually gone through surgical menopause yet, although they don't ignore the other ladies who haven't had surgery yet, I've noticed) and not one single person responded to my introductory post or the questions I asked in it. I can see other people posting since then and people interacting on all these other posts, but mine just fell by the wayside. Maybe because I'm not part of their already established "clique," or maybe because I wasn't whining and screaming about how much I hate this disease, like all the other members seem to constantly post about (based on what I scrolled through on the page.) I ended up just leaving the group. No need to stay where I'm not wanted.
It's very hard to find support from an online community when people just keep ignoring you. It's like being in school all over again. I was always the unpopular outcast, and it's weird that this extends into my adult life, even online where nobody knows me. I guess I'll just deal with this myself.
6 people like this
7 responses
@manikarnika (3301)
• India
28 May 17
@Shavkat Yeah...I am only a member in mylot since...Are you worried or enjoyed for literacybase end?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (141906)
• Philippines
31 May 17
@manikarnika LB is fine. It is also the same fate to the other writing site. We can't control it.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12512)
• United States
29 May 17
Unfortunately, that happens. I have noticed I get ignored too in most things. I like places like this where people are usually kind enough to respond and be supportive. I feel your pain though, I was always unpopular but I wouldn't necessarily say I was an outcast. I just have never done well around people.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12512)
• United States
29 May 17
@Srbageldog Haha, I know the feeling. I think you were right about the cliques though. It seems you are ignored unless you were there from the beginning.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
29 May 17
@sissy15 Yep. The group I joined (and then left) last night was even being disrespectful to the admin's rules about certain trigger posts... Some lady was bragging about her pregnancy, and someone pointed out that you're supposed to post a trigger warning and then comment with that sort of news in the comments section, because that sort of thing can be upsetting to women dealing with infertility. And then a bunch of other women started jumping on that person saying that they're tired of the whole "trigger warning" crap, that the rest of us can just deal... But it's in the group rules. I know I didn't join an endometriosis support group to see other women brag about their pregnancies. That's when I decided to just leave the group. I thought it was bull that the whole mob of women attacked one person because she pointed out that the post was breaking the rules.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
29 May 17
Yeah, it sucks. Maybe my problem is I write too much for most people to bother reading. Maybe I should just start writing short rants. And stop spelling things correctly or using punctuation. Maybe then people on FB will notice me. XD
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
30 May 17
I would suggest starting a group and inviting the people you know that will be helpful. Mylot Members helped me to lose weight and I have kept the weight off. There will always be some people that aren't understanding; however, we need to ignore them. Its easier said then done.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
28 May 17
It takes time to build up a social network. Some groups are not very good about recognizing new members. I wouldn't write them all off though..maybe you could find another group.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
28 May 17
This seems to be happening in just about every group I join. Maybe I should start my own support group where I can control who joins and how the group is run. :)
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
28 May 17
Im sorry that is happening to you.
I may not be going through what you are, but if you need to talk..
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
29 May 17
Well, they're supposed to provide emotional support for whatever common thing you're dealing with (perhaps a disease or mental illness or an addiction even.) But when the members are rude or just ignore you, you don't feel like they're being a very supportive support group, as they're not providing the emotional support you need, which is why you joined their group in the first place.
@manikarnika (3301)
• India
28 May 17
Yeah...We friends will chat there...But Now only looking came to know that there is support group in Facebook. Actually by what way they support? If they support what they will do? I think mylot is the best way to interact...All are very friendly...Have fun.Enjoy 
