Don't Pay Me Back
By hereandthere
@hereandthere (45628)
Philippines
September 4, 2017 6:28am CST
A relative borrowed money for the first time.
I gave her the money because I could afford the amount she needed, and she promised to pay at a certain date.
I told her, "If you can't come up with the whole amount on that day, pay me in installments, example, 50 at a time."
She came today. (I've totally forgotten about the date she promised)
She had the total amount, but she wanted to borrow again.
I had a feeling she wants to borrow a much bigger amount this time, one that I couldn't afford to give. And if she fails to pay it, I would have to accept it as a write-off.
I did not want to know the amount, I do not need to know the reason or situation.
I said, "You can keep the money. It's totally okay. Your debt is paid, you don't owe me anything. I'm contributing that money now to whatever financial problems you're finding funds for."
I'd rather lose 200 now, than loan her a bigger amount and risk not being paid.
As the saying goes, "Give only what you can afford to lose."
21 people like this
27 responses
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
i tell myself at least i helped her a little, but that's as far as it goes
2 people like this
@louievill (28846)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
I do the same, as what we Filipinos say " don't make the fire get bigger" 
4 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
i surprised myself. i'm usually not a quick thinker and not that assertive.
2 people like this
@louievill (28846)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
@hereandthere but sometimes it also depends on how close we are to them, there are relatives who only remember their relation when they are in deep trouble but seem to forget us during good and fun times
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
@louievill i do have such family members, and i still can't understand why they changed.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169439)
• United States
4 Sep 17
It is unfortunate that to some people, if we can afford to lend to them once we begin to look like a bank. You are good hearted, and I would be like you and hesitate to lend more.
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
that's what i'm going to do from now on. loan them only once.
@m_audrey6788 (58468)
• Germany
4 Sep 17
Wow! You`re such a nice person! I agree with you..We can only help what we can afford 
But there are times that when you tried to help them one time they will try again and when you can`t give anymore, They are mad at you 
But there are times that when you tried to help them one time they will try again and when you can`t give anymore, They are mad at you 2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
especially for those who work or live abroad.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (79311)
• Germany
4 Sep 17
@hereandthere it sounds a popular situation. Some thinks we are printing our own Euros here
@averygirl72 (38849)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
I don't like people who always borrow money. As if I'm earning for them. That's a good thing to do
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
i'm glad i only let her reach first base.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
it was her first time to borrow and it was a small amount so i allowed it. i was surprised and happy that she's paying as promised and in full, but when she said she wanted to borrow again, alarm bells went off so i said no immediately.
3 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
@Kandae11 sometimes you can't help because you feel sorry for them
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (57233)
•
4 Sep 17
@hereandthere They say - never a borrower or a lender be.
3 people like this
@beesure11 (235)
•
5 Sep 17
I believe you did the right thing in allowing her to keep the $$ and not expecting it back. You are truly being a blessing. It will come back to you 10 times over. It also keeps the friendship in tack. Money has a way of breaking up friendships and family. One less thing you have to be concerned about. Also, you may never know how you have helped her.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
6 Sep 17
it was her first time to borrow and it was a small amount so i let her. and this is a relative so i decided to give it away as financial aid now than risk a bigger amount later.
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
6 Sep 17
i have a feeling i won't be able to afford the next amount she was going to ask for, and i have a feeling if i did, it will take forever to be paid, so i just let go of the 200.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
5 Sep 17
i agree. better to not let her pay back her debt, if it will mean she will borrow a bigger amount again.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
6 Sep 17
@hereandthere i hope she finally analyzed your answer to her
1 person likes this
@Jeanniemaries (8237)
• United States
4 Sep 17
I hope that solves the problem. That was quite generous of you.
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
8 Sep 17
oh, i'm not rich, either, but this was more like a distant relative, so once was enough.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
8 Sep 17
@hereandthere
I agree, once is enough.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
5 Sep 17
That is a wise saying, I hadn't heard that before. I think that is very generous of you. Instead of paying you the whole amount - and then asking to borrow more - she should have made installment payment... but very kind of you to write off the debt. I hope she doesn't abuse your kind nature.
1 person likes this
@renicemae (4883)
• Philippines
7 Sep 17
You made the right choice. It's hard to trust someone these days especially when it comes to money. I have tried that and my good friend did not pay it back. So much to friendship.
It's hard to trust someone these days especially when it comes to money. I have tried that and my good friend did not pay it back. So much to friendship.1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
8 Sep 17
i've seen stories like that here involving big amounts. it hurts more when it's someone close to you and you thought you knew well.
1 person likes this
@renicemae (4883)
• Philippines
11 Sep 17
@hereandthere Yup. It's hard to trust someone even your dearest when it involves money.
1 person likes this
@rachz_kisses (3838)
• Philippines
4 Sep 17
It is okay to borrow as long as it is paid as promised. The sad part is, relatives will not pay back because they assumed that you have more money because you can afford to lent them some.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
28 Sep 17
she's a slightly distant relative. this is her first time to borrow from me. i understand her desperation, that's why i only gave the amount that i can part with.
@YesWay (3674)
•
28 Sep 17
@hereandthere
It's so bad that you've been put in a position like this though
@YrNemo (20254)
•
5 Sep 17
You are smart. Lots of people began to borrow a small amount, paying back promptly to create some sort of trust, then borrowing more, and more, until in the end, they confessed they couldn't pay back. One of my friends lost half a million dollars that way. She can't retrieve the money.
