You know what they say about assuming ...
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40230)
United States
October 11, 2017 11:37am CST
Did you ever have someone make assumptions about you? I was relating an old story of mine to @TRBRocks420 - which inspired me to write this.
How do you handle people's assumptions?
I have 3 examples.
1) I went on a handful of dates with this one guy a few years back. He knew I was homeschooled. So, he saw fit to explain every. little. thing. in society to me. Now keeping in mind we were both adults no longer in highschool at this point. I was near 30 and he was near 40.
He would explain things like VHS Tapes and the need to rewind them. Video rentals. Using coupons at the grocery store. Buying a small, refillable drink at a fast food place, instead of a large refillable drink - in order to save money. Every time I tried to tell him gently that I understood these things... he would stammer... "bbb bbbut ... you were *homeschooled*" emphasis on homeschooled. The tone he said it with made it seem like he equated homeschool with prison or something.
Now, just because I was homeschooled didn't mean that I didn't know about VHS Tapes (had quite a few of them, actually), - video rentals (rented a bunch of videos in my day), also used lots of coupons, and the refillable drink thing - I have eaten more than my share of fast food.
2) I used to volunteer at the local veteran's hospital. Most of the other volunteers were older men, some of them vets themselves. Generally got along well with all, except this one guy.
He was determined that I was getting something from volunteering (such as made to do it for a class - I wasn't but many young volunteers were -, or recognition, or the $5 lunch stipend if you volunteered over meal time.) To his mind I couldn't be doing this out of the goodness from my heart and he made many snarky comments.
Eventually I stopped trying to prove otherwise, he was determined that based on my age I was doing this out of greed.
3) So , realizing that the first 2 were negative - I've had others assume positive things that weren't so. I guess the biggest thing is because I have been in bands and dance is that I'm confident. Not true. Often I'm the opposite.
So I'd like to hear from you guys - ever have someone make assumptions? How did you handle it?
Photo: Mine
19 people like this
18 responses
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Excellent point. Sometimes when someone accuses someone of something - it is they themself who are guilty
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Oct 17
People shouldn't make assumptions about other people. It's never right. The assumptions about me came from my mother. She thought I was retarded and to prove it she had some tests arranged at summer school for me. I proved her assumptions to my retardation were wrong. She never accused me of being retarded again.
5 people like this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Oct 17
@FayeHazel I'm glad I did too. Though getting her to like me was a chore.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@just4him Aw I'm sorry. You know - to me it sounds like she had some issues she was dealing with - but was taking it out on you
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Wow, that is pretty harsh. I'm glad you proved her wrong! :-)
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (120606)
• United States
11 Oct 17
That guy who patronized you for being home schooled must have stupidly equated that with being in a cult! What a moron!
I have dealt with assumptions for being a Christian. It's odd that some people don't expect you to be any fun at all. I don't know why they think fun is a four letter word for Christians.
I have dealt with assumptions for being a Christian. It's odd that some people don't expect you to be any fun at all. I don't know why they think fun is a four letter word for Christians.4 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Lol! He was a chump in so many ways, actually. Yeah... seriously...?
I find it a great shame that people equate that Christians don't have any fun.
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
11 Oct 17
Sorry you had those experiences..people are just flat out dumb sometimes.
I am glad when people assume I am smart lol
I am glad when people assume I am smart lol4 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Lol! Some people, some times. lol. I think you are smart. 
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
11 Oct 17
I hate when people assume a person with a southern accent must be illiterate or a moron.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@FayeHazel Have you noticed that a lot of southerners are portrayed as inbred, red neck, white trash on TV?
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Oh that's too bad. I like southern accents
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@1creekgirl No, didn't notice, but actually.... now that you mention it....
the mid-west also gets hits with "backwards" characters in film... *sigh*
2 people like this
@DianneN (254949)
• United States
11 Oct 17
Many people think I'm extremely wealthy based on material things I own and the travel we've done, but I'm more like very comfortable. We have money in the bank and terrific investment accounts and receive excellent pensions each month. No money worries, but that doesn't make me wealthy like the rich and famous. Far from it.
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
You were wise with investments and can live comfortable - an awesome success story. Not exactly the same - but I bargain shop - thrifts, auctions, etc. I have a lot of unique stuff. Sometimes I fix things/repurprose them. Now truth being most of it I got for cheap - almost free. But people for some reason assume that I paid alot or have alot of money (not at all true).... It's an interesting assumption for sure
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
12 Oct 17
I can't think of anything at this time. But there all kinds of people. If I don't like the conversation, I'll just excuse myself and move on.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
A wise choice - to move on. Sometimes it is the best one available
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381837)
• Rockingham, Australia
12 Oct 17
I used to make assumptions on here that because Australia had it/used it/knew about it most of the rest of the world would too but that isn't the case. However you then run the risk of over-explaining every little thing. It's hard to get a balance sometimes.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Oh so true. I find myself wondering when I refer to things , what my friends in other countries know. So sometimes I throw in a short explanation, but then like you say - I hope I'm not over explaining it, either.... Balance is very hard
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Everyone assumes things, we can't escape it. But two i really hate is when old women and men think they're better than young women and men, mainly because of their age. Especially since young people can go through just as much, or even more than those older folk.
And the whole no job thing makes a person a loser, lazy or depending on others. When people dont need to work outside of their homes to make money and take care of themselves.
- What does being homeschooled have to do with fastfood and videos and stuff? Being homeschooled doesnt mean youre in your house 24/7 away from the world.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@FayeHazel exactly! Least someone gets it!
Yes! So weird. My bf went to public school til end of middle School then he was homeschooled for high school years.. he knows so much about everything. And did the same things when homeschooled as when he went to public.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@Courtlynn It's kinda like the didn't go to college/can't be smart thing. Too bad those people who think like that limit themselves.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Oh, - so true there. There is a very big difference in an older person wanting to impart some life knowledge and in those who assume they know all / have been through all. As you say the things that happen to people don't depend on age.
Also unfortunate -- some of the hardest working people I know - don't have a "traditional" job.
I know, right? It was weird, like he assumed I was Amish or something. Nothing against the Amish... but yeah homeschool doesn't equal living out of society
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
12 Oct 17
People often underestimate my intelligence due t the fact I did not go to college, been called stupid more than once, but I am doing better in life than they ever thought to be.
People often think because I own rental houses I am rich, or it was given to me. Neither is true. I am not poor but not rich at all and I worked very hard to get what I have and no one gave me anything.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
That's sad - some of the smartest people I know didn't go to college.
When I was young my parents took care of rentals -- oh so true -- it isn't a profession that automatically means wealth - and it's not easy at all
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
11 Oct 17
I am very short and always looked younger than I was in my youth. Seems that some people just assumed because I looked young that I was stupid. I really hated that.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Oh that's unfortunate - I wouldn't have assumed that looking young would equal people assuming that was stupidity... but then some people are jerks
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43573)
• Denver, Colorado
12 Oct 17
I do know that an ex-girlfriend's mom made major problems with me just because I have tattoo's.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Aw that sucks. I grew up with my dad who has many (old and homemade) tattoos. I didn't think anything of it. Until a lady asked me once if those were "real" tattoos on my dad. (Like what would they be? Fake?) lol. It is amazing how some people think.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Ah - that is funny actually. I wish that is all one needed.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22923)
• India
13 Oct 17
People always assume....I have been guilty of it too...Not vocally but in my thoughts.Now I know how important it is not to be judgemental.the older I get the more I learn...And this is a good post
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
13 Oct 17
It's true, I find that I do it too at times. I try to keep it to assuming only harmless things, but the line is hard to find at times
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
11 Oct 17
seems guy #1 thinks you lived in a cave, while guy #2 sounds so cynical.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
Yeah - it was so weird -- like he thought I hadn't been in the world. I often wondered if the second guy wasn't there to get something for nothing - like he accused me of
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
12 Oct 17
Those guys sound like arrogant jerks. If people have made assumptions about me, I am not aware of it because I pay no attention. I wonder if this happens more to women?
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
12 Oct 17
I think it is wisest to pay no attention, as you say. Interesting thought, I never paid attention... maybe it is a gender thing
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
25 Dec 17
I did not read all of this but yes people have said wrong things so I had to let them know what is right and what is wrong.
