List Of Fail
By PLETHOS
@Plethos (13718)
United States
January 25, 2018 5:39am CST
Here's a list of some thing's that I, as a 40+ year old man still can not do-
1) Grow a full, filled in, thick and luscious hairy lumberjack manbeard.
2) Pee in the tub, showering or not.
3) Operate a remote for the cable box, beyond the basic volume and channel
buttons.
4) Watch a complete episode of Friends, I find it annoying.
5) I still can not grasp basic algebra or higher math, alphabet used in place of
numbers screws me up.
6) Walk normal when ever I hear the song "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees playing in the background. (I dare you to try !)
7) Ride a skateboard without flipping onto my booty.
8) Talk over the phone with ease and clarity, for some reason I become stupid
and sound idiotic.
9) I still have still not won a damn thing out of any claw machine. . . (someday I
will though. . . )
10) Memorize the Starbucks baristas names, even though they wear name tags and I've seen them every week for over 5 years now.
Photograph- Taken/Owned by me, Plethos
***and i fail in posting the pic right side up***
20 people like this
21 responses
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
25 Jan 18
TVs used to be very simple. they didn't even have remotes when i was a kid. you had to get up and turn, turn, turn the knob.
disco songs are irresistible, even if you don't really sing or dance
4 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
26 Jan 18
@Plethos you still had the knobs?
my b & w hand me down had to be changed with flat nose pliers
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
26 Jan 18
@Plethos the black and white tv was small, the colored was big. then the screen got bigger and the tv bulkier and heavier. but at least they weren't in danger of being knocked over, unlike the wide flat screens today.
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
25 Jan 18
Thanks for the laugh, loved your list and agree with you on all of them.... I can't grow a beard only because I'm a woman but my oldest son looks like a lumberjack.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Jan 18
funny, i am the same. you put down every one of my same fails.
2 people like this
you get me !
@arthurchappell (44941)
• Preston, England
25 Jan 18
I can do 1, 4 and 8 but totally with you on the others @Plethos
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (44941)
• Preston, England
29 Jan 18
@Plethos I have seen it on TV though isn't on at present - I do have access to terestial TV at present
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40230)
• United States
25 Jan 18
Oh totally alright. I can't grow a lumberjack beard, either. :-D ;-)
2 people like this
@Gita17112016 (3611)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Jan 18
Do you plan to 'do' the things you listed or are you just happy noting it down?
2 people like this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
26 Jan 18
Some of these I will never try, as a woman #1 isn't ever happening. The remote is a huge challenge and I usually have my husband give me assistance whenever its to difficult. I can watch Hulu or On Demand, so can change source and move buttons. I'm still chuckling over #6, as a huge Bee Gees fan. The skateboard is for people younger than me.
I make a living on the phone, so that one is a big yes I can do it well. People that I see regularly I'm able to remember their name as long as its an easy name to say.
2 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
26 Jan 18
i told my teacher way back i'd never have use for algebra..and i was right.
my brother gets stuff out of the claw machine all the time..i have no idea how he does it..
my brother gets stuff out of the claw machine all the time..i have no idea how he does it..2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174208)
• United States
31 Jan 18
LMFAO! I can't grow a full beard, either! (I don't like beards, so I've never tried to grow a full beard!)
I did grow a very nice goatee several years ago, though! (I only kept it for a month. )
I can do everything except #6 and #10. (#6 I don't believe anyone can do that. #10 because I don't go to Starbucks.)
)
I can do everything except #6 and #10. (#6 I don't believe anyone can do that. #10 because I don't go to Starbucks.)1 person likes this
@Plethos (13718)
• United States
1 Feb 18
@DaddyEvil - lol, so it looked like your chin was a creme frosted red velvet cupcake? 
1 person likes this
What happened to that OTHER emoji?
I'm sure you know the one I'm thinking of, Plethos! 
@Fleura (34927)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 18
Ha ha I wouldn't even dare to try skateboarding and I only saw a bit of 'Friends' once when visiting some actual friends and I hated it. As for using the TV, I do it so rarely and it's so complicated, requiring three different remote controls, that I have had to write a step-by-step checklist to keep handy just in case I ever do want to try watching something. I have nostalgic memories of days gone by when all you had to do was twiddle one knob!
2 people like this
@Poppylicious (11134)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 18
Excepting number 2 {I did NOT admit to that, shush!} I can't do any of those things either. You therefore sound pretty normal to me!
2 people like this
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
29 Jan 18
For a 50+
1. I can't do it...(psst...I am a woman...god did not equip me for full fledged beard)
2. P in the tub...I haven't one...so there you know why - other situations will be confirmed if and when I get one.
3. I fare better than you...I am music crazy...
4. I am nuts about Friends...
5. I proved X = any number ages ago. They still haven't found an answer to that.
6. I love Staying Alive..so I walk straight...don't want to confuse traffic and lose my life.
7. Don't have a skateboard .. and don't intend to buy one. Accidents like that are not covered under my medical insurance.
8. I blow my top on phone..I hate phone calls.
9. Never been near one..:( I am sure the day I reach it, all the money will be for me, and me alone.
10. Never had Starbucks coffee.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
31 Jan 18
I have done some of your lists =P Want to guess which ones?
Theres a mall near here that has that claw machine I can't remember I think maybe Parkway Plaza? Bonita?!
1 person likes this
@Plethos (13718)
• United States
31 Jan 18
@infatuatedbby - i bet youd rock a mean looking facial rug.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
29 Jan 18
Don't worry you are not alone in number 6. I also can't walk normally when I hear a danceable tune. I love Staying Alive too by the Beeges, especially the movie.
I don't have to memorize the names of those servers at cafes. For the girls, I just call them dear and for the boys bossing.
I don't have to memorize the names of those servers at cafes. For the girls, I just call them dear and for the boys bossing. 1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (91013)
• United States
31 Jan 18
All good things on your list and I have to laugh at walking normal when hearing Stayin Alive!! Guess we all have the tendency to bob a bit when that song comes on
1 person likes this
