When It Is Difficult To Trust God (Proverbs 3)

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Financial, Relational, Emotional, Political, Social: these are areas in which obstacles arise daily. Loss, betrayals, suffering, etc. comes into our lives and leaves us wondering, "Why did God allow this?" We question if He is listening or if He cares. I have been in this position several times. Last year was one of our worst. We had to put my mom in a nursing home. We made this decision after she was dismissed from a psych ward and it was determined she needed care we could not give her at home. Our hopes of her recovering and leading a healthy life were crushed. Financially, we were slammed. Our bank account was compromised twice and our cable company made a mistake in which they drafted our of our account 3 times. Instead of refunding, they credited us for two months. We struggled to make ends meet for months. My youngest daughter began to struggle with health problems. My dad was diagnosed with liver and kidney disease and my brother and I exhausted every option trying to find him medical healing. We lost our dear father 7 months later. Talk about having a crisis of faith. I wanted answers. I began to reexamine all the Bible studies I had heard. Where I use to focus on God's miraculous power, I begin to question His motives and choices. Instead of abandoning my faith, I decided to seek God until I understood Him. I begged Him for answers. That fervent determination paid off . I still have questions, but I am trusting God to provide. It is, sometimes, difficult to trust. Life is full of uncertainty. One of my favorite Bible verses comes from Proverbs 3. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." The fact of the matter is, we will not ever understand everything this side of heaven. But each time we trust, even when it is hard, our faith grows and we begin to understand our Lord a little more. I still miss my daddy. I would love to have him back here with me. But now I realize that God did heal him. He gave him a perfect healing. My dad no longer has to walk with a cane or ride in a wheelchair. He is now sheltered from the heartache of watching my mom deteriorate and act irrational and mean. He is now protected from the pain of betrayals and watching loved ones destroy their lives. Part of me wishes God would give my dad back, but the other part rejoices that he is in perfect happiness experiencing perfect healing. How has your faith been tested and grown in light of hard times?