LESSONS FROM SOFTBALL #4 / myLot

May 7, 2018 1:44pm CST

Softball Lessons #4- Drama is Inevitable Good Grief! When does the drama end? No matter how we coaches and leaders try to advert drama, it still seems to crop up over and over. What makes those situation worse is when the drama is blown up or started by parents. We have one player, and she is a good player, who thinks some of the other girls are out to get her. From the beginning of the season, her mother calls saying “lucy” and “lulu” are being mean to her baby (made up names). She says her daughter complains that these girls are mad because her daughter got the position they wanted. She says these girls tease her daughter for being short. The list goes on. I, purposefully, watch for any improper conduct and never see it. Then there are complaints, this mother wanting me to bench lulu and lucy for the teasing of her daughter at school. Our softball has nothing to with school. I am not affiliated with the school, in any way. So I do not bench the girls. We only have one pitcher. Her dad will not let her pitch the whole game because he does not want her arm to get too tired. So the parents are yelling at me because our relief pitchers are not as good. The team attacks each other for mistakes. No one wants to accept responsibility for their own actions. It is one thing after the other. The drama at school and the drama at home is brought onto the softball field. Yet, I still want to coach these girls in the game and advise them in life. My husband wants us to refrain from coaching next year. He does not deal well with all the drama. I don’t know what I will do. I do know that right now, I need to be praying that I handle each situation as God would have me to. Any sports coaches out there? What are your thoughts on diffusing drama?

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4 responses

The Horse

@TheHorse (238268)

• Walnut Creek, California

13 May 18

Interesting post! I have been playing adult softball ever since my baseball career ended, more than 30 years ago. I helped coach a friend's daughter's team when the girl was 11. At that age, the girls didn't care much about the game, but some of the parents could be vicious. As for diffusing drama on the field, what can one do except focus on the common goals, which are enjoying/respecting the game, improving everyone's skills, and, yes, winning? I'd probably remind the girls and parents that this is not the end of their softball careers, and that the purpose of playing is to love/enjoy/respect the game, support each other, and improve everyone's skills and knowledge of the game. Winning comes naturally from having a good attitude. When I think of professional sports, the San Francisco Giants were NOT the best team in any of the three years that they won the World Series in the 2010s (I admit that as a Giants fan), but they had that certain mojo--respect for each other, respect for the game, Willie Mays-like joy in playing the game--that carried them through. That's the kind of attitude I'd like to impart.

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Denise Knight

@gnatsmom (2575)

•

14 May 18

Thanks for this post. Great points.

PLETHOS

@Plethos (13718)

• United States

11 May 18

your the coach, what you says goes. if the parents dont like it, they can start their own team next year with their all star child as the center of the team. they are supposed to learn how to play like a team, not fight like pre madonnas.

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Denise Knight

@gnatsmom (2575)

•

11 May 18

thanks, well said

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allen0187

@allen0187 (59648)

• Philippines

8 May 18

It starts and ends with the parents. Sit down with the parents and set ground rules and lay down what is expected and accepted behavior from them on and off the field.