I am glad I did not see them

Chances are there were not three screaming autistic children in the store the other day. I know I sounded grumpy in this post, but actually hubby and I both have usually been able to calm regular fussy children down when we come across them in the store. For autistic children, going to the store can be such a minefield of sensory overload. It can make them overly happy or overly distressed. Yes. I had a friend who's daughter probably was autistic, she was also adhd, and bi polar. My friend never got to sit through church. Kara always acted out. Judgemental people often said she was not disciplined enough. I was one of the few people who would baby sit Kara and her brother. She is quite the thoughtful grown up now, after many rough years. She has moved back to our home town to look after her aging parents. She has three boys who have various special needs including autism,adhd, hearing impairment, post traumatic stress syndrome from an abusive dad. Kara smiles when she sees me and always has something kind to say and I am very proud of where her life is going. One meltdown on one day in a store does not predict who a child will become.

@LovingMyBabies you are consistent with your children. Also, I bet you do not take them to a store if they are sick, or needing a nap, or hungry. It could also be you take toys for the little ones, or books for the older ones. You probably have the oldest help you. That is what my daughter does. All her kids are now big enough that they can participate in a meaningful way in grocery shopping. They also carry stuff in.

@GardenGerty No, I'm sure all 3 were not autistic but I just know someone can be judged before knowing and that's sad. My youngest babies are still little but even them-if they start throwing a fit I do tell them to knock it off or when we leave they will be in trouble. My kids are fed before going to the store, absolutely. Sometimes they are tired from going to a few stores though but I don't baby them too much because life is never easy for us and they should adapt to that right away. If they start acting out too much we walk out so we don't disrupt the whole store. My older 3 children do help and they definitely know how to act when we are out.

The fact that I felt like I would told me that I was too tired to be there.

@GardenGerty hey, we all have bad days where we actually do say soemthing. Whether to them or out loud so they can hear. No ones perfect.

I did daycare. I have left the store with acting out children. They learned that if they wanted to go with me, they would behave. If they argued over which treat we bought or whatever, I bought none. I had one mom ask me how I managed to take six or seven youngsters at a time. Her middle child was one of the worst, she said. Mom said that child would start screaming if she did not get her way. I told her that the moment she did, I would take my cart to the service desk and leave the store. She asked if that made the store mad to have to put the things back and I told her that it did not, because the cashiers and others did not want to listen to screaming children either. I guess I just got lucky. The kids knew if I said something, I would do it.

@GardenGerty i never had that option but the kids knew that they would get whats for because i did not care.

Without actually seeing what was going on, my opinion is that it was very much out of the routine for the child. Maybe the kid was hungry, or sleepy. Or maybe the child was used to not having to be in the cart. It just is very hard on people around when kids are screaming in the store. I probably would have left my cart and gone home if it was my child. In this day of single parenting it is hard to manage a moment to do anything that is needed, but sometimes a parent can do something, other than bribe or threaten to quiet a child. It just was not a good afternoon to be in that store, not for customers, those parents or the kids.

The parts of the "conversation" I could here sounded like mom was saying "No" and the child was mad. Maybe mom does not say no often enough.

@GardenGerty Quite possible. When the children don't have habit to listen "no" ,this sort of things keep happening then

So, if a mom were to bring her partially filled cart to the front and say "I can't do this, we are leaving" you would not get mad? That is how I would handle it if I had a screaming child that would not stop.

@GardenGerty Would it frustrate me? Yes. Would I get mad, no. Its retail. It happens a lot.

Could be. it could also be that at least some times these behaviors have gotten them what they wanted, so they were trying again.

I was in no mood, so was glad it did not present itself. We actually have had good results being stress busters for parents and kids in stores. Saturday just was not my day to do so.