I Need A Bub
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (112780)
United States
December 24, 2018 1:50pm CST
That is what I told my wife, "We should run to Walmart and get a bub for the garage."
"Are you out of your effing mind? It's Christmas Eve. You really want to go to Walmart on Christmas Eve!!!??? It'll be a nut house!"
"Well," I proceeded to tell her, "I was thinking about making a version of parmesan chicken breasts tonight for dinner too, and I happen to be out of chicken breast."
"How are you out of chicken breast?"
"Because we ate all the ones we had," I replied. "Besides, I could use the time to just go ahead and replace that bub we need."
She gave me one more snicker. "You realize it's pronounced bulb you jackass."
Don't you get smart with me missy," I said, waving my finger warningly. "That's MR. Jackass to you!"
14 people like this
10 responses
@JohnRoberts (109841)
• Los Angeles, California
24 Dec 18
Look bub, just remember who the boss is!
2 people like this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
24 Dec 18
You must really be bored! Finding things to get at walmart today, you know the lines will be long, waiting time to check out an hour, And nothing but light bulbs on the shelves.
2 people like this
boy does that sound gooooood 
@hillhjill (23761)
• United States
25 Dec 18
That's funny.. If you did make it to Walmart hope you make out alive.. That place was mad house and we have a small Walmart here, could you imagine all the people cramped into that small store. Nope no thanks.
1 person likes this
@porwest (112780)
• United States
10 Jan 19
@hillhjill I was quite surprised as well. I thought for sure it would be a total madhouse. I mean, a BIGGER madhouse than Walmart can sometimes be any day of the week of course.
1 person likes this
@porwest (112780)
• United States
24 Dec 18
It's marriage of course. I swear it was in our vows somewhere. Bickering. We promised to bicker. There is a sign in our front bathroom that reads, "Marriage is finding that special someone we wish to annoy for the rest of our lives." I think we have accomplished that. 
1 person likes this
@porwest (112780)
• United States
25 Dec 18
@CarolDM We bicker. That's all it is. Bickering. We still very much love each other. I always know this since when we sleep at night she grabs hold of me tightly and snuggles me hard as we sleep. It always feels good to feel her so close to me. If that ever goes away I might have to worry. But she grabs hold of me tightly each night and doesn't let go until morning.
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Dec 18
@porwest lol! This put a smile on my face. Sounds like you and your wife can easily joke around with each other!
1 person likes this
@porwest (112780)
• United States
24 Dec 18
Many people find it very surprising to know that I am an atheist AND celebrate Christmas AND say Merry Christmas over happy holidays or season's greetings. I am also a conservative, find nothing wrong with the SPIRIT of Christmas, admire those who have faith, and find Christian values, not their underlying belief, to be noble and good, and so to that I say who cares what I believe in or don't believe in...tis the season and giving and caring and loving and being together with people we love can only ever be a good thing. Merry Christmas to you as well.
