The perfect body

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I just can't seem to accept it.... I just don't want it to be real.... I want to do better am trying to get there but it's harder than i thought.. All i think about is getting into shape... From a very young age...like 6 or 7 I close my eyes and picture those beautiful girls in amazing bodies and beautiful shapes before i could sleep... It's an addiction..a habit..at my age now I've tried to stop... But i can't..so am trying to get my body into shape ... Reaching this goal is my biggest fear..afraid i give it my all and i don't reach it at all But am trying for a month now i think...no results i can see but i won't give up