Do you worry about what you post here?
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
February 27, 2019 10:35am CST
I was just typing out a post that I really wanted to discuss with all of you. I wanted to give my thoughts about this subject as well as reading about yours.
But half way through typing, I deleted it all. Even though I was making myself clear that it was a touchy subject and I'd feel no offence if people didn't join in on the conversation and I'd respect people's views / opinions, I deleted it.
It has been a subject I've been wanting to talk about for such a long time here but I fear it may anger or upset people. Not because I would say anything inappropriate but because this particular day was a very traumatic time for people. Whether they were there to witness it in person or saw it on TV. I won't say what it was about. I may post about it another day. If you do by any chance have a hunch on what I'm talking about, please note that I am aware of other traumatic worldly events that happened. It's just this one in particular has me very intrigued.
Anyway the subject of what I was going to talk about is kinda irrelevant right now. My real question for this post is, do you ever type something out but change your mind due to worrying about how others will react / respond?
I feel 98% of the time we are all very civil with each other. But there have been moments where it can get a little heated in here.
37 people like this
40 responses
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 Feb 19
I have made it a point since the beginning of my time on this site that I was not going to post anything that would anger people or cause controversy. You know, things like religion and politics. It's not because I'm afraid of offending someone, or worrying that someone will be mad at me, but because I have enough stress in my life already at work, so when I get home and get on myLot, I want to relax and have fun and keep things lighthearted.
But I have responded to controversial posts, and I have disagreed with people on here, I have just done it in a way that wasn't condescending, patronizing, or combative. Even when I disagree on something, I try to be civil about it.
Love to hear what topic you were thinking about writing about. You can PM me if you want to tell me!
7 people like this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
28 Feb 19
I wont do those either, like you said enough on my plate at home. I also will comment, sometimes.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@kepweng You're afraid to talk to Jeff? How come? 
He is a sweetheart.
He is a sweetheart.2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@moffittjc That is fair enough and I understand where you are coming from. And that really is part of the reason as to why I'm not posting it anytime soon or possibly never at all. Maybe it's better left between people I actually know and know it won't turn into something horrible. I think certain subjects are better left between close family and friends.
That's exactly how I respond to these sorts of subjects. I find it very easy to be civil but not everyone is capable. Which sucks. I will PM you.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
28 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13 I have seen people really fighting on some discussion and it has been unpleasant.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@LadyDuck Yeah you are right about that. It's why I'm holding it off or considering just letting it go completely. I really don't want to be looked upon as someone who "starts trouble" or be the reason for people feeling uncomfortable.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@LadyDuck Yeah I've seen some fights here too. And some take me by surprise with how long it goes on for or how hostile it can become.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Feb 19
I write about the very touchy subject of my faith every single day without any fear at all! I know who my Father is and I am His daughter-it's amazing!! I live every day with joy, peace and love in my heart. =) I no longer worry about what people think, I know if they are mean it's because they don't have the love of Jesus inside-which makes me sad for them and pray for them.
Sorry, I don't have the same perspective as most people in the world or on this site. Lol.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13 Thank you for saying such kind things to me. You're an amazing person as well!
The thing is, it's not about religion. I have a relationship with Jesus. I don't have a bunch of rules that I don't want to follow. I just live with the Holy Spirit inside of me-so I don't have the same desires I used to have. (Not sure if that made sense). Lot's of things with my faith might not make sense to others because it's super natural and amazing-our minds cannot possibly comprehend it all.
The great thing is ANYONE can accept Jesus, ask Him to live inside of us and live this incredible life. Everything is not perfect of course, but when hard things do come into my life I have my Father in Heaven to help me through it all.
So, just in case you're wondering or ever curious more about my faith--since most people think they know more about it than they actually do-check out Dan Mohler or Pete Cabrera. Both of them are amazing and informative. =) Either way, I cherish your friendship here! 
2 people like this
@xstitcher (39002)
• Petaluma, California
2 Mar 19
@LovingMyBabies Amen, @LovingMyBabies. It's definitely not about "religion", and that is the mistake so many people make.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@LovingMyBabies Yeah I often see you writing about God. I don't remember if we discussed this, I feel we have but sorry if I am repeating myself. I'm not religious. But I have no issues with people who believe in whatever they believe in as long as it's not causing any harm.
I always smile when I see what you've written because you say it in an honest, caring and genuine way. And every time you've said you're praying for me or praying for my dad, my heart melts lol I appreciate it so much because you've taken the time to do something so sweet! Thank you!
I personally don't know where I stand with religion. I just say I have none but I love learning and very open to what could have been and what could be.
You're such a beautiful kind woman and I respect that you share your faith in a loving way! I admire that what you believe in gives you peace and strength. And I am glad you will no longer worry about what people think. Never be sorry for who you are. 
As far as I know, you have nothing about you that needs to be altered.
As far as I know, you have nothing about you that needs to be altered. 2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@jaboUK Yeah I am the same. I know some who post a lot about certain topics and I can't help but take a look. But then I close the post when I see it's a bunch of people arguing. If it was friendly debates, I would be fine but not many people not how to do that.
But there are times where my fingers can't help but type something to join in. It's mainly questions about the topics though.
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15826)
• Manchester, England
27 Feb 19
You've read my posts. Draw your own conclusions 
But more seriously I have self-censored a number of times. I do sometimes lose sight of the fact that I'm almost impossible to offend and consequently have written posts which I find hilarious but on reflection have been making fun of subjects that many people find too dark for humour. This is is why I always read through my posts a few times before hitting the submit button.
Know your audience!
You've got me intrigued regarding the subject of your intended post.
But more seriously I have self-censored a number of times. I do sometimes lose sight of the fact that I'm almost impossible to offend and consequently have written posts which I find hilarious but on reflection have been making fun of subjects that many people find too dark for humour. This is is why I always read through my posts a few times before hitting the submit button.
Know your audience!
You've got me intrigued regarding the subject of your intended post.4 people like this
@WorDazza (15826)
• Manchester, England
27 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13 I can get slightly aggressive if I feel someone is wilfully and repeatedly being awkward but I try my best not to.
Like I said it's a case of knowing your audience. Thee are some things I say to close friends I wouldn't dream of saying in polite company. I consider myLot to be polite company
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@WorDazza Yeah that I can understand. Especially if someone is deliberately trying to push buttons. I can go both ways with that. I could snap because it's sick how people purposely try to annoy others or I will just remain calm and not give them the satisfaction. Which hopefully p*sses them off instead.
So true! Wise!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@WorDazza haha actually I've read some of your comments of you kindly disagreeing with others. I've never seen you become hostile towards anyone even if they seem a bit hostile or unsettled towards you. ( at least I think they were a bit hostile, I could be wrong. ) You've just always been polite when disagreeing with people or having people disagree with you.
I completely agree and understand where you are coming from. What may seem harmless to you, may not be to others.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
27 Feb 19
I completely understand I have felt the same way at times and have deleted posts halfway through worrying about how things would go.
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@Happy2BeMe Yeah it's a tough one for sure. I know MyLot is looked upon as a safe and happy place. Just sometimes I really want to discuss something but I'd hate for anyone to feel sad or angry and getting the wrong idea about me. I just love talking about certain things but yeah it can be hard if someone is not comfortable with the subject.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@Happy2BeMe That is true. Actually sometimes I cringe with what people find offensive. I'd love to understand why but sometimes I really feel like people just want to be offended...just because they want to. I don't know.
I agree with you. But I do admit that I sometimes get a little worried / scared with how people will be. It doesn't happen often but even nice posts get some people to act a bit hostile. Or act in a strict way / dictating way on how the poster should have posted. Only a few people who do that. They are nice a lot of the time but some things they say has me stressed out whenever they answer my posts in case they give me the same treatment again.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
27 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13 There is always somebody who will take offence to something. The way I look at it, is that if people don't like what you post or they don't want to comment on it then just scroll on by. I hope you will eventually post it.
2 people like this
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
27 Feb 19
I have often typed a response or a comment and then felt that what I had said might be taken the wrong way or actually offend the person it was aimed at, so I have refrained from posting it. It's as if I have something in my head that says 'Do you really want to post that?' or 'It wouldn't be appropriate to say that right now.'
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@owlwings Yeah I'm the same. I'm glad you have those thoughts though. I mean not glad you feel the need to bottle up what you wanted to say but not everyone has those thoughts. Some people just say whatever they want to say no matter who it offends. Which is fine to an extent! Saying what you believe in is fine but I really believe that a point can be made without swearing or being nasty. Not many people can master that though.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
28 Feb 19
Yes, I have almost posted some posts but at the end did not. I have no idea what you had in mind. I think most of us have come to appreciate that if we are upset with something or don't care for then it we just move on.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@1hopefulman I agree that I believe people will just move on if they aren't interested or agree but I get worried about some things because I have had a few people who become a tad hostile or dictating even when a post is a happy one. Doesn't happen often but the times I saw it happen and experienced it, kind of scared me off a bit.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
3 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 Some people are best ignored!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@1hopefulman That is true. Definitely keeps a lot of negativity away then.
1 person likes this
@nonersays (3344)
• United States
27 Feb 19
I avoid touchy subjects. I don't post about them, and I won't respond to them even if I have a strong opinion. People can't be trusted to debate without turning into animals these days, especially on the internet.
2 people like this
@nonersays (3344)
• United States
27 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13 So true! People want to be RIGHT so badly that they would never even acknowledge if someone gave proof that they were wrong. Peoples minds are rarely changed on anything they feel passionate about.
Getting heated as a means to protect someone from harm is a whole different can of worms. Someone should always speak up to protect.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@nonersays Exactly. I often have this issue with my Aunty actually. About 4 years ago she changed her religion. And she is very passionate about it which is great. Whatever makes her happy! But whenever I ask questions, and I can assure you they are very calm valid questions, somehow she eventually becomes snappy with me and tells me how I'm "being difficult." She's also accused me of "starting fights" with people online about religions. To which she has no evidence of lol so I don't know where that came from.
But I realise she was angry because I wasn't understanding her beliefs. Somehow she became frustrated with me not believing what she was telling me instead of being understanding that her and I have different views. I'm not worried about what people believe ( unless it causes harm ) but I am full of questions. Unfortunately some of my questions are taken as fight or negative criticism. When really I just wish to learn and understand why people think the way they think. Or believe what they believe. And it's as simple as that yet for some reason some people take it as a challenge rather than a friendly discussion.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@nonersays I agree! It's what scares me when wanting to discuss something. I'm pretty calm. I respect people's opinions so easily. I just can't argue with someone just because we have different thoughts. That attitude is way too ignorant and arrogant to me.
People spend way too much energy bragging and fighting about how much they are right, instead of just hearing out how others feel about something. Just because we feel we believe in something so strongly, doesn't mean it's the correct answer or truth. And that's ok. We should be working together on figuring things out rather than argue about why others may be wrong.
Only time I get a bit heated is when someone is clearly showing signs of harm towards anything or anyone. That's it.
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
28 Feb 19
No I dont, I just post any old crap and it seems to work well..hahah jk
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@amadeo I'm sorry for the blocking issues you've had here. ( though glad it seems you're not bothered by it ). It can be difficult to discuss certain things. Even if the conversation starts of quite well, somehow it can turn into something rotten.
1 person likes this
@ihasaquestion (8273)
•
28 Feb 19
I try to be more civil with difficult topics myself..but each and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@ihasaquestion I agree. Everyone should be allowed to have their own opinions. It's just how people share their opinions that worry me. Not many people can do that without a fight brewing.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@ihasaquestion That made me laugh. I've never heard that saying before. I love it! So true!
1 person likes this
@ihasaquestion (8273)
•
3 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 I agree with you..different strokes for different folks..
1 person likes this
@SophiaMorros (5044)
• Belews Creek, North Carolina
27 Feb 19
I always write my posts in a private document and then copy it to MyLot. There are many things I write that never make it here. Sometimes I write comments, hit the respond button and then think better of it and delete my comment.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@SophiaMorros I sometimes type it elsewhere first too. Also because I want to keep it safe. I've had a few occasions where I'm nearly finished typing something out but hit something ( I still don't know what happens ) and everything just disappears. 
And yeah I've also deleted many comments because I worry of how it looks. Text talk can be misunderstood easily.
And yeah I've also deleted many comments because I worry of how it looks. Text talk can be misunderstood easily.1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@SophiaMorros Exactly right! 
Which can really suck especially if the point you're trying to make is really misunderstood and taken as bad criticism.
Which can really suck especially if the point you're trying to make is really misunderstood and taken as bad criticism.1 person likes this
@SophiaMorros (5044)
• Belews Creek, North Carolina
27 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13 it can be very difficult to communicate clearly without accidentally stepping on someone's toes.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@Nevena83 Thank you for your nice comment. And that is true. Sharing our thoughts about things does have people understanding how we think and who are as a person.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
27 Feb 19
I have very rarely deleted a post in progress. I do not go to touch subjects, generally, unless I can be very neutral, supporting the poster, basically.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@GardenGerty That is fair enough! I understand where you are coming from. It is hard to talk about specific things. I wish we were all capable of just talking things through but not that easy to do.
@JohnRoberts (109841)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Feb 19
I have learned to avoid touchy political and controversial issues. People come here to relax and have fun.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Feb 19
@JohnRoberts I agree with you. The last thing I want to do is cause any issues here or be in a position where I caused others to argue. It's just a shame that people have trouble discussing certain topics without becoming nasty. I don't know if I will ever post it. If I do I will be sure to try word it in a way to make people understand that it's not something to cause issues. It's just simply me wanting to discuss something that so many people talk about.
But still like you said, people come here to relax and have fun. I'd hate to been seen as someone we was trying to take that away from anyone. Which isn't me. But sometimes people get misunderstood no matter how much we try to convince someone the truth.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
28 Feb 19
@VivaLaDani13
Yes Dani I have thought if what I wrote is appropriate and have deleted it and started over again or just went out. There are times I wonder if anyone will respond to what I wrote.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@Hannihar I understand. Well you know I will answer yours lol I'm answering all of yours. I need to catch up with them again. I'm a bit behind with MyLot at the moment. I think I will make today a MyLot day to try catch up with everything on here.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@Hannihar As are you! He is doing good thank you. He is out right now with his girlfriend. I don't actually know where they are but I can't imagine they can do much since he can't walk like he used to right now. But his foot is looking better from what the doctors are saying but I'm still in "worry" mode. And I think I will be until doctors continue to keep saying it's looking good. It was a roller-coaster while he was in hospital. Was getting quite a lot of contradicting answers from doctors that played with his head and my head.
And me....I'm ok thank you. It's a long story but I could be better I guess. But ok.
As are you! He is doing good thank you. He is out right now with his girlfriend. I don't actually know where they are but I can't imagine they can do much since he can't walk like he used to right now. But his foot is looking better from what the doctors are saying but I'm still in "worry" mode. And I think I will be until doctors continue to keep saying it's looking good. It was a roller-coaster while he was in hospital. Was getting quite a lot of contradicting answers from doctors that played with his head and my head.
And me....I'm ok thank you. It's a long story but I could be better I guess. But ok.1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
3 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13
Thank you Dani and you are so sweet. How are you and how is your Dad?
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@aureliah That is true. Like I said, I was going to say it in a very friendly manner and not in a morbid or inappropriate manner. I wouldn't anyway. I decided not to post about it anyway. I don't want to risk anyone being upset.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (93194)
• Bangalore, India
28 Feb 19
I have done it once. Yes, sometimes we are not sure how it would be taken.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@arunima25 I agree with you. It's a bit harder with a lot of people because some may be completely ok with what they read while some others may not.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (93194)
• Bangalore, India
3 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 Yes. I feel we should stick to the guidelines of the site. It is better to avoid things that might hurt some or create an unnecessary controversy.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89458)
• Rupert, Idaho
28 Feb 19
I try to just stick to my food of the day posts, art posts, and reviews for the most part. But sometimes I do wonder even about the reviews/food posts.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@MommyOfEli2013 I love seeing your art designs! I haven't read any of the food ones yet but I'd love to!
What is it that can make you worry about the reviews/food posts?
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 19
@MommyOfEli2013 Cool I will have to check them out. But just a friendly warning, I tend to work on MyLot a bit differently than others lol I have an OCD way of being on here. I do like to answer people's posts randomly here and there but I mainly answer people's posts from when they first started. I can explain better if you like but basically I pick people, answer ALL their discussions ( not all at once so I don't bombard them ) but I keep doing that over time until I am completely up to date with them. And then I follow to make sure I don't miss any newer ones.
Oh ok! Yeah I can understand that. That's very considerate of you. Some people don't do that. They just drop everything and spoil it for all. And no worries about the food ones. I hope over time you feel more better about talking about it with no worry.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89458)
• Rupert, Idaho
3 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 I am glad to hear that....and I am posting the food ones daily to keep myself accountable on my health journey.
Well with the reviews, I guess I just don't want to give too many spoilers and ruin it for someone that has not seen it. And not sure why about the food ones, lol.
1 person likes this
