Unwanted advice
By sofs
@sofssu (23662)
March 11, 2019 8:49am CST
Yesterday I was at a baby shower. I found myself in some rather uncomfortable situation there. Some young ladies decided to ask me for some parenting advice. I know that my views differ very much from those of the young women these days.
I decided that I did not wanted to give any free advice which may also be unwanted once they hear it. So I told them to follow specific instruction by pediatricians and do what they think is best for the child.
Sometimes it pays to be politically correct. Its not as if they are going to take my advice to heart, so why give unwanted advice knowing those young women. And I hate to be ganged up on LOL.
What would you have done in my place?
38 people like this
36 responses
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
11 Mar 19
I'm not sure, it really would depend on the situation, who the young women were and why they were asking.
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
12 Mar 19
@sofssu what would you have told them about discipline that you were sure they wouldn't like?
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
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12 Mar 19
@hereandthereI have written quite a bit about parenting, I talk often about overindulgence, lack of discipline and overcompensation. I know how parents these days react when you touch them in those areas.,
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Mar 19
@BelleStarr Their answer to why you are asking me was - 'Look at your boys.' While I did take that as a compliment, I knew that they wouldn't like my idea of parenting. The first thing I would talk about is 'discipline' and I know the looks I would see on their faces.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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13 Mar 19
@cintol I felt that if they really wanted to talk about something personal , they needed to find the right place and time for it. Not at someones party, also they know where to reach me. I really did want to bring a serious tone to the party. My hostess may not have liked it too much, I guess.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (85274)
• Bangalore, India
12 Mar 19
If I find that things won't resonate with them, I prefer to be politically correct as you do. But when I feel that they are receptive I pour my heart out.
And it is my profession to do parenting workshops and so I give advice to a group of people hoping that at least few will follow.
And it is my profession to do parenting workshops and so I give advice to a group of people hoping that at least few will follow.2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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12 Mar 19
@arunima25 Yeah my line of work too, I kind of know when they are receptive and when they are not.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (85274)
• Bangalore, India
12 Mar 19
@sofssu It is better to know that before we give our piece of advice.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 19
Presumably, these are people who know you and respect you. They asked you for advice so it wasn't unwanted. I might have said what I would do/have done but also do as you did and follow what they think is best, taking heed of any professional advice.
Some people ask for advice because they genuinely want it. Some ask in the hope that you will confirm what they already believe.
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Mar 19
@pumpkinjam I would have to agree with you on both counts. That is what bothered me, Yes they respect me, but I cannot sugar coat what I would give them. So I decided not its better not kill the party spirit with my serious talk.
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Mar 19
I might tell them what "I" would do or did . . . but would definitely tell them in the end they have to figure out what they think is best for their kid - not all kids or situations/circumstances are the same. But yah, if the topic is controversial in any way, I'd probably just stay out of it too.
2 people like this
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Mar 19
@sofssu I know that feeling - you just know when a conversation could become a potential conflict 
- we want to avoid that awkward situation. And with parenting it can be such touchy subject. You want to enjoy the party too . . . just better to scoot that topic under the rug .
- we want to avoid that awkward situation. And with parenting it can be such touchy subject. You want to enjoy the party too . . . just better to scoot that topic under the rug .@sofssu (23662)
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12 Mar 19
@much2say I felt if they really needed the advice they know where to reach me. Four people cannot have the same kind of advice. Each child is different and each persons approach is different. Yeah it was a party and I didn't want it to become a conference of sorts lol
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
12 Mar 19
Strange that they even asked for advice. Youngsters of today are 'know-alls' (lol)
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@sofssu (23662)
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12 Mar 19
@allknowing hmm maybe I should take that as a compliment lol
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@cherriefic (10400)
• Philippines
12 Mar 19
I just tell them what I did from my experience but have a disclaimer about it as well.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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12 Mar 19
@cherriefic I still gave them some advice, do what your pediatrician tells you and what you feel is best. A nice way of putting a disclaimer.
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Mar 19
the same as you, I have found out that people get mad if its not what they wanna hear after asking.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Mar 19
@andriaperry Amazing,I love your answer. That is so right, people ask, but they get mad when they don't hear what they want to. That was the thought that was on my mind too.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171936)
• Agra, India
11 Mar 19
I would have shared my experiences with pleasure
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Mar 19
@amitkokiladitya Hmm.. I am not very sociable in parties I try to blend into the background, I am a one to one person and hate to be ganged upon.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171936)
• Agra, India
12 Mar 19
@sofssu yes..some people are like that. I respect your personality trait
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@vandana7 (98826)
• India
12 Mar 19
Interesting. I would simply say I am accidentally successful, and am still not sure what I did right, if at all. You'd better ask your pediatrician and family on all issues. Generally, I feel lazy to be talking in company of adults. I end up with under 18 group in any social gathering, always.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (79708)
• United States
11 Mar 19
Parenting is so different now compared to when I was raising children. I don't know how much advice I would have offered
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Mar 19
@Marilynda1225 I was thinking the same too. my outlook is so different from what these young women see.
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)
• West Haven, Connecticut
11 Mar 19
advice is advice take it or leave it, I would of gave some insight if it helped instead of shutting them out
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
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11 Mar 19
@BACONSTRIPSXXX Hmm.. The idea wasn't to shut them out, but I would be something serious and that wasn't going to help the party spirit.
1 person likes this
