Eventually the word "sorry" means nothing to me.
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
April 6, 2019 2:59am CST
I have my flaws. I have issues I need to work on. I'm not perfect. But I do know some positive things about me. I am generous. I am kind. Trustworthy. Faithful. Helpful. I will sacrifice money and time to help others even if I have very little left or going through a bad time.
But one thing that is both a pro and a con is that I am too understanding. And sometimes to the point where I am a bit of a doormat. I will get treated like scum over and over yet still ask the person why and then accept their apology.
But just like everyone else, I have a limit. I listen and ask questions to try to understand why people did what they did or said what they said. But eventually the word "sorry" means nothing to me. I have had a lot going on lately and way too much that has happened in my life in general that I've honestly reached that point of not bothering anymore. If anyone treats me like crap I'm done. I've had enough of it on Mylot and even some of my family members are making me feel hostile ( which I will talk about another time ).
I am still going to stay here but I am done interacting with certain people on here who time and time again assume the worst about me and treat me so horrible when I've done nothing wrong but trying to help.
My dad often tells me how patient I am with people who disrespect me but I've honestly reached my breaking point. I'm done with all horrible people. Two chances are enough as I know people can be having a bad day. But 100 chances like I usually give, is happening no more. I'm all for helping people any time! But I'm done being too understanding or too forgiving to people who hurt my feelings over and over and for no valid reason.
I need to understand that I can not fix everyone as much as I wish to. As much as I hate to see people hurting, I can not help everyone. Some really need to help themselves.
Have you ever completely reached your breaking point? Whether it's with certain people or situations etc?
15 people like this
15 responses
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
6 Apr 19
I understand you very well and I also had to block a couple of users because I was tired of their rude comments. Some people seem not to understand that this is not a place to criticize and be rude. We are here to "talk" not to offend the others.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
6 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 If you blocked him, he cannot send messages to you and he cannot add comments to your posts.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
6 Apr 19
@LadyDuck I just blocked him now. But sent him one last message to let him know how much he is a jerk to me and others. I am hoping blocking him will mean I won't receive messages from him too!
I agree! We are here to talk, make money ( I know not all people care about the money ) and help and support each other if needed. But sometimes staying away from certain people is gold! I am done with this person being horrible to me and others.
Does blocking people mean they can't message you back either?
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
6 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 He can't even see your posts or profile if I am not wrong. But you can see his and probably comment/ respond? Not sure about last bit.
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35030)
• Philippines
6 Apr 19
You are right. We don't have to put up with other treating us bad.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
6 Apr 19
@yoalldudes So true! It's not very kind. Like I said. If someone is having a bad day then I know that can happen! But when it's very often to be treated badly and for no reason, it's not right! It's horrible! This person has made me feel so depressed and cried a few times with how he has treated me. He says sorry every time and admits it was because he was in a bad mood but that has happened way too many times now. I'm done with it. It just depressed me.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@yoalldudes I don't blame you. I think it's more healthy to stay away from negative things anyway. It's something I'm still trying to learn and be strong about. I'm glad you take time to yourself when things like that happens.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35030)
• Philippines
6 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 If I feel like the comment is making me depressed, I don't visit myLot for a while and then go back when I'm in a good mood. I do other things that please me.
2 people like this
@Shavkat (141906)
• Philippines
8 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 With my evil relatives, I don't think that it will happen to have a good talk. It happens for a reason.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
8 Apr 19
@Shavkat I'm truly sorry that is the case! I wish I could take it all away from you!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@Shavkat I'm really sorry you're dealing with such people! Especially in your own family! That is really a tough one for sure. 
Sometimes a good talk with people can fix things but sadly sometimes it doesn't work at all. 
I hope things can improve and you are able to ignore whatever they are doing to you or maybe find a way to make it less stressful on yourself.
Sometimes a good talk with people can fix things but sadly sometimes it doesn't work at all.
I hope things can improve and you are able to ignore whatever they are doing to you or maybe find a way to make it less stressful on yourself.1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23979)
• United Kingdom
6 Apr 19
I am sorry you have had issues with someone here. I have not encountered any rudeness but you must report inappropriate comments to the admin and let them deal with it. It is completely unacceptable. Don't take things too much to heart I know it is quite easy to. You have done the right thing by blocking him.
You are still very young and learning the ways of the world. Don't let people take advantage of you! We would always help people out but found they started to take advantage. I didn't learn to say no until I was about 40. All those years can you imagine. I was shocked myself when I said it not to mention the other people. It was quite liberating. So now I have no qualms about saying no. Life is one big learning curve.
Don't let this person ruin something you enjoy doing. Ignorance is best ignored! Good luck Keep writing and keep smiling,.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@garymarsh6 You are right. Only reason I never reported him was because he was my friend but now that I see how he treats "his friends" I blocked him. But he better be careful because I have quit a lot of screen shots of how he has treated me and others.
I'm glad you learned how to say no. I can only imagine how wonderful it feels. I'm still learning like you said but hoping I can find the right balance of being able to say no and not sounding mean in the process. Sometimes people push me to sound harsh because I bottle it up for so long.
Thank you Gary for understanding and for your advice! much appreciated!
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
7 Apr 19
I want to cheer you up Ms. Dani but I'm at a loss how. I just wish everything would turn out fine for you.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@sunrisefan Thank you. It's been ok. Hope you're enjoying your weekend too!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@sunrisefan Hey! It's all good thank you so much. I've blocked him. I'm still very angry but I will eventually forget about him. He can deal with his issues alone. I'm done trying to help him when he can't even see the wrong he is doing to a LOT of people.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
7 Apr 19
Glad to know that, Ms. Dani :) Hope you're enjoying your weekend.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
6 Apr 19
I understand you, some people can really be so hard. We cannot please everybody in the same manner that we too cannot be pleased especially if we've been hurt. It's good to help others but they must also help themselves. It's a must to forgive those who've wronged us but it takes a while, it has to undergo a process.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
6 Apr 19
@florelway I totally agree with you! Some can be so harsh and mean when they are in a bad mood. As much as I understand that! There still comes a time when enough is enough. Taking your hurt and anger out of others is wrong! I know it can happen but when it happens over and over again, it becomes really depressing!
Exactly right! People need to come to terms with what is going on in their life and get help for themselves. I always say my doors are open if anyone needs help or wants to talk but eventually those doors will close.
2 people like this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
6 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 if the sack is full, it will overflow, so is our emotion if we are fed up we might explode. 
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@florelway Very well put! You're right about that!
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54180)
• Louisville, Kentucky
6 Apr 19
I used to be a lot like you and when you said your were a doormat, that described me perfectly. Then one day, I decided to get all negative people out of my life, including some family members. Things have been pretty good ever since.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@simone10 Good on ya! Seriously! I'm sorry that those negative people were some family members! I'm at that point right now where I don't feel like talking to certain members of my family right now. I love them very much but I'm sick of certain things being said to me that make me feel depressed.
I'm seriously happy yet sorry that people, especially in your own family have made you feel bad enough to kick them out!
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54180)
• Louisville, Kentucky
7 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 it really is sad and I do love my family. It was something that I had to do.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
8 Apr 19
@simone10 I understand. It can be very hard to let family go. I truly believe you can still love them but if they suck happiness out of you, then that's not real love from their part.
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
9 Apr 19
I'm thinking of at least one person on here that has probably pushed you past your breaking point. I'm hoping you just block them and wash your hands of the matter. Some people are beyond help. There's no sense in their behavior causing you grief and concern; it's better to just move on to other things, such as happier and more positive people on this site (and in real life too). You're a tough girl, hang in there!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
13 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 I agree with you, I think we all want him to be okay. But he needs help, and he refuses to acknowledge he has a problem. So until he understands the consequences of his behavior, he's not going to change or not going to seek help. I't's best to just cut ties with him and cut the cord. Again, just like I said with your aunty, don't let his issues affect your well-being.
I'm doing okay. Just happy to get through this past week. At some point, I'm going to have to go help my brother empty out my mom's apartment, and go through all her things. My brother has 2 months to get everything out of the apartment, so there's no rush to do it now while everyone is still in emotional shock. But I'm not looking forward to it, because I can already tell we're going to disagree about what to keep and what to get rid of.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
13 Apr 19
@moffittjc Thank you. You're right! I get angry every now and then but overall I am 100% done with him. He is blocked and will remain blocked. I gave him way too many chances to which he always "apologised" and said "I won't do that again." But he never kept those promises about not taking his anger out on me.
I was actually thinking about that with you. First I was thinking about my mum's things. I have no idea why that came into my mind but then I switched to thinking about you and your brother having to do that. I can only offer you what I keep offering is that I am here. I understand that is going to be tough. And I'm sure you already know the first year will be tough. I'm so sorry. I honestly send you big hugs and my love.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
9 Apr 19
@moffittjc Good chance you do know who it is. And yeah I blocked him on Facebook and MyLot. I can't deal with it anymore. It's like I still want him to be ok but I'm not sacrificing my time and heart when I mostly get treated badly in return.
And thank you kindly! How are you holding up?
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
7 Apr 19
Yes I have with someone here and they blocked me but kept commenting on my posts, the staff fixed it where this one no longer can do that. I feel so much better without that contact.
I, too have been used as a door mat and that is over, in real life and online.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@andriaperry You and I are 100% talking about the same person here. He was my friend but I'm sick of him treating me badly. And from what I saw you go through as well as many others, I am just done. He is a horrible person who plays the victim. I've given him too many understanding chances. One after the other but from listening to how many others have been treated by this person....just nope! No more!
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
6 Apr 19
It is worse when you say you are a friend and then proceed to be rude and disrespectful. Then play the victim card.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@Daljinder Exactly! I used to call him a friend and he claims I am ( now was ) his friend yet he treats me like I'm bringing harm to him which is untrue. Sometimes I've been a little bit more harsh but that is because I'm trying to get him to see reality! Like the "cruel to be kind" method. I never do any of it to make his life worse. I was trying to get him to stop obsessing and realise that his thought patterns were destroying him! And unless he gets proper help, this whole thing will continue to destroy him! He only cares about bettering himself for one girl instead of bettering himself from him!
And yep! I've seen it often where he gets upset or frustrated by someone else and posts about it but only from his side instead of the whole story. Like him getting upset just because someone said they didn't like Gatorade? Please! I told him that I was sorry he was upset but I also said that I believe it wasn't a stab at him to which he had a go at me for and claimed I was now "best buddies" with this person. How deranged is that!? I was only stating that I "didn't believe" this was a hurtful comment but nope! Because my opinion didn't match his, I was the bad one. 90% of opinions that don't match his, is wrong in his eyes. I'm sick of it. Sick of walking on eggshells with this person. I be nice and truthful yet that still makes me get treated like a bloody enemy.
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
10 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13
Dani, you have been through so much in your life and you deserve to be treated like a human being that you are and be treated with respect. You are a very good person. There are some very nasty people here and you do not deserve to be treated badly by them. They are not worth it. I have blocked people here because they would not respect my wishes and others I just ignore because they are not worth answering their nasty responses here. Someone here said to me to ignore people and not block them. This person does not understand the situation like a lot do not understand all you have been going through. Dani, I understand and families can be very toxic. Yes, I have had many times where I had enough and was very exhausted but had to finish something because I could not afford to make overseas calls and if I stopped and went back to it it would have cost me a lot so finished it and then took care of myself or tried to.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
11 Apr 19
@Hannihar Thank you so very much for your kind words. I know I am not perfect, no one is. In fact, I don't exactly know what "perfect" means. But I do know that I am sick and tired of being treated poorly and that I really don't feel I deserve it.
Sorry you've had negative experiences on here! I say this often but I am shocked yet sometimes not really surprised with how people are nowadays. I often wonder what is happening to people. There's way too many cases of negativity, harassment, lack of respect and lack of common courtesy etc. And it only seems to be getting worse and worse.
I'm really sorry for anything negative you've been through. Whether it's from the past or happening now. You don't deserve it! I wish I could be more of assistance to you.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
12 Apr 19
@Hannihar I THINK I might know why you have a hard time dealing with authority or with people who feel they have power of you. I'm the same way as you and I'm wondering if it's because of something you and I have in common. Let me just say that I am the same way. I don't like when people make decisions for me or "know what's best" for me or try to keep me somewhere I don't want to be.
I honestly don't believe you deserve what you get. I don't see any reason for you being treated the way you get treated by some people.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
11 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13
I am beginning to wonder if I maybe do deserve the way I am being treated by some people. I have a hard time dealing with authority and those that think they have power over people. I feel like I talk to brick walls. You do not deserve to be treated badly. Take care and you are very sweet. Just being here for me you are helping me.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22923)
• India
7 Apr 19
I agree we need to interact only with those who makes us feel good.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@responsiveme Exactly right. Sometimes it can be such a challenge getting rid of such negativity but when the time is right, it's easy to let go so we can stop letting these people get to us.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89458)
• Rupert, Idaho
7 Apr 19
I'm sorry to hear that some people here have treated you that way...I would never do that! I have reached my breaking point with certain things/people in life so I can definitely understand
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@MommyOfEli2013 Thank you Courtney. You're a nice person so I know you'd never be that way. And yeah I think everyone has that breaking point. And some who bottle it up inside for a very long time. I've been that way for way too long. Some things I need to vent about and other things I done with keeping my mouth shut.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
8 Apr 19
@MommyOfEli2013 I know what you mean! The sad thing is, someone who is really nice tries to be understanding and accept whatever is thrown at them, but once they explode, all of a sudden THEY are the mean ones even though the actual mean people caused them to explode.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89458)
• Rupert, Idaho
7 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 I try to be, as long as people don't provoke me to not be nice! Yes....they definitely do. I'm sorry you have been that way, so I can understand needing to vent...and not be quiet about!!
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22901)
• Serbia
27 Apr 19
I can understand you. Sorry, it does not mean anything if somebody had the intention of hurting someone
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22901)
• Serbia
27 Apr 19
@VivaLaDani13 I'm the same. Someone would have thought that I was cruel, but I did not, I was only real and objective
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109841)
• Los Angeles, California
6 Apr 19
Just concentrate on just being you.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 19
@JohnRoberts Thank you John. Definitely something I'm trying to do.
1 person likes this
