I Cried Out of Anger
@SIMPLYD (90722)
Philippines
April 25, 2019 2:49am CST
Yesterday, I was called by our mall manager at her office.
She lovingly told me, that she knows I am distraught.
My staff she said, went to her earlier to tell her that I was noisy that morning in my department. He said , she kept asking him basing from my e-files, what are the statuses of the Requests I gave to him , to be canvassed and the PO prepared.
I told the boss, that's because I have been so lenient since last 17th, the last day of work since 18th & 19th were part of the holidays for the Holy Week.
I told her he didn't do anything last 17th but I just let him , because it's his birthday and was busy coordinating with another birthdays celebrator for their birthday party in the afternoon.
So, when Tuesday came and he hasn't done any Purchase Orders, that's the time I asked him of the statuses of the requests for various construction and office supplies.
Out of my frustration I cried while telling the boss those. I told her, I really was so frustrated of the relaxed attitude of the staff when there are already a lot of overdue Purchase Orders that he should have done.
I told her, I want him out of my department because of this bad attitude of this staff.
She promised me she will find other departments or businesses of the company she can transfer him to. Though, he said others don't want him either.
After that, I felt so light and was again my normal self.
Crying always help me feel relieved from my anger.
Do you think I was wrong in what I did?
After that, I felt so light and was again my normal self.
Crying always help me feel relieved from my anger.
Do you think I was wrong in what I did?21 people like this
20 responses
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
25 Apr 19
No emotion is wrong. And definitely crying helps a lot to lighten up. I often cry when I feel too bottled up. That is good for me. 
3 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
25 Apr 19
Yes, I have experienced crying then feeling so light after.
I actually cry in our room while I pray and talk to God, when hubby isn't home yet from his work. I really cry out and felt so relieved and have a very light feeling after.
Crying really relieves us from our pain , anger and frustrations.
Crying really relieves us from our pain , anger and frustrations.4 people like this
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
25 Apr 19
@SIMPLYD You are like me. I too cry while praying to God and generally when I am alone. Sometimes I cry out of happiness and gratitude to God.
2 people like this
@florelway (23095)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
25 Apr 19
@SIMPLYD though sometimes it's not really good, others may take it as a weakness. Take a deep breath and maintain your composure. Glad he had been transferred to another department.
3 people like this
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
26 Apr 19
@SIMPLYD It is hard really to deal with staff that is under you but is a relative of the owners or your boss. Although you can try to discipline him but still you will have some hesitation to really control or treat him as subordinate. You will have to relay your concern with your boss to point your concerns with him.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Apr 19
@rsa101 My boss already know about it long before this happens.
His aunt won't allow him to misdo things at the office.
He is I think berated because the mall manager told her of what happened. He is now as meek as a lamb and so busy doing his backlogs.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
25 Apr 19
Thank you.
I am glad too, I was able to take out all the anger by talking about it to my lady boss. She knows that he isn't doing well in his job and has lots of backlogs because "he is too relaxed" , since whenever I have my operations meeting with her and have my report of the aging of the Supplies Requistion slips until it is prepared with a Purchase Order by him, she would be shocked that it takes him more than the given 4 days period which sometimes be as long as more than a month.
She too has given her piece of berating him when he went to her to complain of what I have done.
Now, he is as meek as a lamb and is doing all his backlogs.
I am glad too, I was able to take out all the anger by talking about it to my lady boss. She knows that he isn't doing well in his job and has lots of backlogs because "he is too relaxed" , since whenever I have my operations meeting with her and have my report of the aging of the Supplies Requistion slips until it is prepared with a Purchase Order by him, she would be shocked that it takes him more than the given 4 days period which sometimes be as long as more than a month.
She too has given her piece of berating him when he went to her to complain of what I have done.
Now, he is as meek as a lamb and is doing all his backlogs. 3 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
25 Apr 19
If he was not pulling his weight and you are his manager you should have dealt with him and given him an ultimatum. Sometimes being a manager is very lonely at the top and people treat you differently but he is taking advantage of not only you but of his colleagues. I would not tolerate his behaviour and make it formal. It seems he is not performing as he should be if other deparment do not want him either. No the burden sometimes falls heavily on you so you need to off load and if that has helped you it is a good thing! Well done you.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
25 Apr 19
Thank you for understanding where my anger is coming from. 
Sometimes , we really should show our anger when a subordinate abuses your kindness.
Today, he is actually doing all his backlogs and is fast in doing things.
I think, my boss already talked with his auntie who is our general manager, who was formerly my direct boss since I was her executive assistant before this position, that I want him transferred to another department.
I think too she received a tongue lashing since he lives in their house.
The reason why I am lenient with him is his auntie. But I know too, that his auntie will surely berate him once she came to know about it. That's what I avoid to happen to him.
Sometimes , we really should show our anger when a subordinate abuses your kindness.
Today, he is actually doing all his backlogs and is fast in doing things.
I think, my boss already talked with his auntie who is our general manager, who was formerly my direct boss since I was her executive assistant before this position, that I want him transferred to another department.
I think too she received a tongue lashing since he lives in their house.
The reason why I am lenient with him is his auntie. But I know too, that his auntie will surely berate him once she came to know about it. That's what I avoid to happen to him.2 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
25 Apr 19
@SIMPLYD Ooh the little rascal he is. So he thinks he can get away with it because his aunt is general manager. Well good on you for putting him in his place. He should be working harder than any other employee. What ever has been said it is working as he should be now! Never let anyone take advantage of your kind nature!
2 people like this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
2 May 19
I have not seen you for quite some time, Ms. LT :)
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 May 19
I have been busy with my social life. I actually was so busy at work , then we went on cruise last May 4, then overnight at a Hots spring resort then the next day, heard mass before going back from Irosin , Sorsogon to Legazpi City for some more activities of our HS batch. Then, we all attended the 65 Homecoming at our HS alma mater then dinner.
I was lethargic from lack of sleep until now.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 May 19
@sunrisefan It's so nice to gather and have some chats over a meal with batchmates from high school or even grade school.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
7 May 19
@SIMPLYD Hahaha! So you were enjoying :) My elementary and high school classmate (she was our class valedictorian) called me up yesterday only to say hi because she was already at the airport on her way home. The last time I saw her was 10 years ago when we attended the Grand Homecoming for all class years in our school. She's now a pediatrician in Mindoro. Another classmate (our 2nd honorable mention) went to the airport to see and send her off. Too bad they did not call me earlier. I could have gone to the airport or invited them for a quick lunch. Both of them had been my classmates for 10 years (from Grade 1 to 4th Year High School).
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
25 Apr 19
I remember crying too when there was an issue relating to the misuse of our office guest house which was part of my responsibility
2 people like this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 Apr 19
@lyndakerby sorry to hear about your loss, it's a heartbreak.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16531)
• China
25 Apr 19
You had every right to be angry then.If you gave him some slack,other staff will follow the example of him in future.
2 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16531)
• China
27 Apr 19
@SIMPLYD It is nice of some staff to take it upon themselves to do partial job for him.He should thank them for it !
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (95017)
• Marion, Ohio
25 Apr 19
Sometimes it is that or going postal. 
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Apr 19
Not yet.
I am giving him another chance to make good.
He is now doing all he can to cope up with his backlogs and he is as meek as a lamb now. Maybe because he now knows that I want him transferred to another department, but no one wants him.
And I guess he was berated by his aunt, the General Manager , my immediate boss before, when I was her executive assistant.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Apr 19
@cacay1 That is true. I am on tenterhooks in dealing with him since his aunt, the General Manager is my immediate boss before as I am her executive assistant.
I think he was berated by her aunt because the mall manager talked to her about what he has been doing. So he is now as meek as a lamb.
2 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
28 Apr 19
You were and are right and its hard to work in those kind of situations and very healthy to let go of the frustration more than anything.
I just cannot bottle things up like I used to and people say that I should but I don´t listen to them.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
7 May 19
@SIMPLYD
Good for you and sometimes we have to put our foot down firmly not easy I know but we have to.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
18 May 19
No, of course, you were right and hopefully, he will be gone soon.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
20 May 19
@SIMPLYD Well let's hope that it lasts.
1 person likes this
@mynameiskate (2562)
•
2 May 19
No you are not wrong for having feelings. Displaying them in the work place though can be tricky. It seems this time it will work out for the best because it sounds like you have an understanding office manager.
It becomes frustrating when you ask for a change that will improve office conditions and moral and not get what you want. You can be quiet and just state your case but it doesn't always get results. Quiet conversation should work in an office but it's been my experience it doesn't always. As they say, "squeaky wheel gets the most attention."
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 May 19
Being silent won't do the tricks here. But when you do something like that, the subordinates gets to know their places and do their responsibilities after that outburst.
Now, that staff is industrious and I hope he will stay that way, or I will really would officially make a request for his transfer.
1 person likes this
