An Edge of Fear

@Juliaacv (41424)
Canada
May 14, 2019 6:49am CST
Good morning friends. I am off from work today. I requested today off as I have an appointment at the hospital this morning. I have to see a new doctor, and possibly have a scope done. I hope that they can scope me this morning, parking and getting around those big hospitals is not the easiest thing to accomplish successfully in my mind. And, since this is a cancer-recheck, I have an edge of fear in me this morning. I had a second cup of coffee, which hasn't helped any with the nerves. Going to see this doctor and getting a scope done are not fun things to do, but a necessary evil given my medical history. I just hope that he tells me that everything looks pristine and that I hear the all clear. That will allow this edge of fear to completely disappear. ~Photo is mine
28 people like this
27 responses
@andriaperry (77611)
• Anniston, Alabama
14 May
Everything is fine, I read the future first.
3 people like this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Yep, I am good, and I am relieved. This morning I was a walking ball of nerves.
1 person likes this
@rakski (27637)
• Philippines
14 May
I hope everything will be okay.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you. I'm pretty nervous. And then to top it all off, one 1 calendar I wrote my appointment time as 10 and on the other calendar I put it down as 11, so I will likely be really early. I am going to try to contact my regular family doctor today, as they had to refer me to this specialist and see what they have listed as my appointment time.
1 person likes this
@rakski (27637)
• Philippines
14 May
@Juliaacv you can do it. it is better to know what is happening than being late
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
@rakski I know, it will just be a little nerve-wracking until I see the doctor in a little while.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1418)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
14 May
Be strong and I hope everything will go well
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you, I'm very nervous.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (26799)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 May
Cutest photo ever. I hope everything will be alright and you get a clean bill of health.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
Thank you. I did get a clean bill of health. My challenge is that I need to provide my medical records, from another city, from a doctor that is retired and from a hospital that is closed, for my next appointment in a year's time. I'm sure that it will take me all of that time to fid the correct channels to make my request to. That's our granddoggie, Ellie. She is an Aussie Doodle.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (26799)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 May
@Juliaacv I am so happy for you and Ellie is adorable.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
@RasmaSandra Thanks and thanks. Ellie has a personality cuter then her picture, she makes us laugh.
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 May
I will be thinking of you, Julia. I wish you wellness and grace towards peace, relief and healing.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
Thank you so much. I have had more all clear results then not, but its that fear and the memory of the time that I did not get those results. That comes back when getting ready for the recheck. I'm very thankful that I am all clear for another year.
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 May
@Juliaacv I am extremely glad about your good news.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
@everwonderwhy Thank you. I was awfully relieved and happy when I got the news.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (61125)
• United States
14 May
I wish I could give you a hug this morning.. hope everything was good
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you. I always think of our daughter when I go for those scopes, its like she's my little guardian angel and helps me thru it. I watch the second hand on the clock from the time that they insert the scope (which is uncomfortable) until the time that they tell me that everything looks good. It takes about 2 minutes in total. They have it up on the big screen, and they tried to turn it so that I could see it, but it made me even more nervous, so I just closed my eyes for a few seconds and prayed. I was SO scared.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (61125)
• United States
15 May
@Juliaacv only two minutes, wow! definitely thought itd be longer than that. don't worry I would be nervous too and not want to see anything. im glad you have the thought of your daughter to help you through it.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
16 May
@Courtlynn Its the insertion of the camera that is uncomfortable, and a little embarrassing given where they stick it.
1 person likes this
@Lolaze (3976)
• St. Louis, Missouri
14 May
I’ll be thinking of you. And the doggy is adorable!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you. I did well, I have no new tumors, so that is a huge relief. That is our granddoggie, Ellie. She is an Australian Shepperd.
2 people like this
@Lolaze (3976)
• St. Louis, Missouri
14 May
@Juliaacv Great news!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
@Lolaze Yeah, as many times as I've had to go for annual rechecks, I never take the news 'no new tumors' for granted. Its a blessing and its so scary up until I hear those words.
@Gillygirl (26531)
• Sutton, England
14 May
I read your latest post first and pleased your fear has disappeared now.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Yes, thank you! It was a nerve-wracking morning.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (26531)
• Sutton, England
14 May
@Juliaacv I am sure it was.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May
Praying that all goes well with you Julia.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you so much Marilyn, your prayers are appreciated. I got the all clear from the doctor and do not have to go back until next year. However, I do have to somehow get my medical records from when the tumors were removed in 2002. The doctor that did the surgery is now retired, so I cannot contact his office, and the hospital that I had the surgery at is now closed and has amalgamated with a larger hospital. I will contact one of my sister-in-laws who worked at that hospital and helped facilite the move to the new hospital when the alliance was formed. I don't imagine it will be a freebie, usually these cost upwards of $100.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May
@Juliaacv Hope it isn't much of a hassle to get those records.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
@Marilynda1225 It will probably be a bit of a hassle and a bit of an expense, but I have to get them.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (17282)
• United Kingdom
14 May
Good luck and I hope every thing works out fine for you!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you so much! I got a clean bill of health, but I was sure nervous.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (17282)
• United Kingdom
14 May
@Juliaacv OH bravo well done. I hope you can celebrate and relax now with your excellent news. I am so happy for you!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
@garymarsh6 Thanks, we just finished a delicious steak dinner-which was our celebration.
@LadyDuck (219405)
• Switzerland
14 May
Go there with no worries, I wish you to come back with great news.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you Anna. I did get good news. There are no new tumors. The doctor that I saw has an 18-month waiting list, but I was referred in March of this year and saw him today. I guess that my case was considered emergent.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (219405)
• Switzerland
15 May
@Juliaacv I am so glad Julia, I can imagine that is a great relief for you.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
@LadyDuck Yes, thank you.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (60858)
15 May
@Juliaacv I can understand how you would feel about the recheck. I hope it went well./
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
Thank you, yes, I got the all clear this time around and will not have to go back for another year now.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (60858)
15 May
@Juliaacv That is great news.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (25209)
• United States
14 May
So glad things went ok, sorry so late in commenting.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you. That is good, you were out and enjoying the day, that is what I did later on this afternoon. Oh, I am so relieved.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (25209)
• United States
15 May
@Juliaacv Yes and rain today.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (23590)
• Serbia
14 May
I understand your fear. Did your doctor confirm that everything is fine?
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thank you. Yes, the doctor did a scope today and told me that there are no new tumors, which is the news that I wanted to hear.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (23590)
• Serbia
14 May
@Juliaacv Thank God.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (92835)
• United States
14 May
do not go in being negative think positive.Good vibes for you. Good morning
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
14 May
Thanks Fredo, I feel your good vibes now although I was so scared when I was there. I got a clean bill of health and do not have to go back until next year.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (92835)
• United States
14 May
@Juliaacv there and now enjoy your living there.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (30444)
• United States
15 May
I hope that you get a clean bill of health.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
16 May
Thanks, I did get a clean bill of health. I don't have to go back until next year for another recheck.
@Susan2015 (24152)
• United States
15 May
Here is hoping that it all goes well for you.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
Thank you, I had the appointment yesterday, and they give you the results right away. I do not have any new tumors but will have to go back every year still for checks.
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (14557)
• Romania
15 May
It's normal to be fearful. This dog is cute. Coffee increases anxiety.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
I am always worried that they will tell me that the tumors are back again. But that wasn't the case, I got good results. My coffee helped calm me down, I was glad that I had a second cup. The dog is our granddoggie, Ellie. She is an Aussie Doodle.
• Philippines
15 May
I would be nervous if I was in your situation. Hope it doesn't get worst.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
I was a bundle of nerves for sure, but I got a clean bill of health and I don't have to go back for another year.
@GardenGerty (110970)
• United States
15 May
I will be sure to check to see how things went. I will pray for you, too.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (41424)
• Canada
15 May
Thanks a lot Heather, I appreciate your prayers. I did alright. I got a clean bill of health. I do have a challenge though, he asked me to get my medical records from the original surgery in 2002. The doctor that did the surgery has retired, so I cannot contact his office, and the hospital that I had it done in is now closed. I have my work cut out for me don't I?