My Schizophrenia
@simplfred (20608)
Philippines
May 25, 2019 7:39pm CST
Since I cannot cure my schizophrenia
I've decided to end my own dilemma
I look for a rope to hang my head
But split in two, that rope left me undead
But that was not enough to stop my will
In our kitchen, a shining blade
But I pause for a while for the reason
That I might pass out undead
So, I then looked for a key
To open the cabinet
Unsealed the gun that was strictly kept
To put into my head that one tiny bullet
Just one shot and for sure I'll be lucky dead
I've pulled the trigger it didn't click...
Then, I've realized I've never done any
I'm stocked in my lonely room
Chatting with nymphs, those god's so holy
Then I began to chill, facing demon and ghost so scary
My world was full of delusions
I can fight no more this emotion
Since they cannot cure my schizophrenia
How I wish to end my own dilemma
But how can I?
They don't want me to
I was incarcerated in this empty room
No rope to hang this head
No blade to slash my pulse
No gun to point in my head...
written: July 01, 2014
Mysterious Aries
7 people like this
7 responses
life is so beautiful, your poem is nice and full of mysterious feelings.@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Haha... I think I can be a very great actor in terms of writing. Thanks for your sincere response, my friend.
3 people like this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 May 19
@simplfred you're welcome my friend. I also have written almost 500 poems at 1, 800 plus words. I posted them In Blog Job and Literacy Base, so sad they're gone sites.
2 people like this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
@cacay1 Oh, I see. Do you have an extra copy? Please share some here...
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (73169)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 May 19
Please don't scare me like that. I live much too far to hurry over to save you. You sure had dark thoughts back in 2014. I remember some frustrating days back when I live in Latvia because those institutions always seemed to be out to get you. So you got a letter with some bad news and I always said they should include rope with that letter so after I read it I could go hang myself.
3 people like this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 May 19
@RasmaSandra , that's it scary poem I thought the setting is this day.It was written in 2014 
3 people like this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Yeah, Some of the dark thoughts keep coming back even I've built a strong wall of positivity somehow they always found a hole to enter in my thoughts. Gladly, whenever I've penned them down they seem to be alleviated in a miraculous way... A day of frustration is sprinkled among the rest so much as the day of hope. Thank you, my friend...
3 people like this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Thanks, my friend. Well, this is quite a portray of the so called schizophrenia...
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Yeah, somehow, a situation like this is needed to be heard sometimes... That such kind is happening...
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
@LadyDuck I'm glad to know... I hope she'll tell her story about it. Might give inspiration to others.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
@LadyDuck I'm sorry to hear that, my friend... My writing is quite just a portray though somehow I think I am dealing with something just it is hard to explain but definitely not Schizophrenia... So, this series of writing is quite close to home to me...
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27129)
• Dallas, Texas
26 May 19
I was worried until I realized this was written back in July of 2014. This is a very frightening article. I really hope you were not serious about it and only wanted to share a poem you wrote back then. I understand the feeling. Sometimes it is best to write our feelings in this way, because it helps us deal with our emotions.
2 people like this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Yeah, Anthony, I agree with you 100%. Somehow, I was able to find a way to transfer my negativity in making a quite dark art... Actually, I don't have this kind of seeing things and such but in a way, I could relate with the character... Thank you...
2 people like this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 May 19
@lookatdesktop, me too, I thought Frederick is having depressed mood that he liked to end his life.Though just a poem, but it sounds serious and mysterious.
me too, I thought Frederick is having depressed mood that he liked to end his life.Though just a poem, but it sounds serious and mysterious.3 people like this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 May 19
@simplfred , try to compose poems on love and roses.
2 people like this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
26 May 19
@simplfred _Looking forward to reading them.
3 people like this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Thank you, I just don't know if this one can be called a poem. This is quite a series of stuff. I will share the others from time to time.
3 people like this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
26 May 19
Yeah, I think I just wanted others to know about this kind of stuff...
1 person likes this
