Happy Memorial Day, 2019

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MyLot Exclusive #195 Some people have expressed concern over my Happy Memorial Day Eve, 2019 post but there is no need to worry. It will be posted yesterday morning right on time. If, for some reason, it's late, I've already had my Outside Counsel, Rudy, draft an 'ivesssapology. Just to provide coverage for bases that will never need to be covered. Simply put, in my 337 years of Blogging, I've never missed a post. Some people are amazed by that but it's easy. Especially now, considering the way I've slowed down in recent years. Currently, I only do my daily exercise, cooking, gardening, reviews (This is a big one I've cut down on. I used to do a separate daily spot each for TV, radio, Broadway, vaudeville, movies, restaurants, whiskey, cigars and interesting new products plus one Wildcard Review for things that don't fit into any of the previous categories but now I just do one review a day for two or three things from any category. One day it might be three TV shows while the next could be two restaurants and a clothing optional toboggan club. Unlike the old days, you never know what you're going to get but you know you're going to get something) and cleaning tips segments. That's only five per day plus my weekly Marital Relations spot (Sorry, kids, that one is Adults Only, you have to be 35 or older to get in. 45 in Utah. Offer void in Kansas. Open to anyone in the rest of the world), my twice weekly Religious/Spiritual Nondenominational, All Faiths Are Welcome Devotionals plus my Weekly Sermon on Sundays and holiday specials. It's a very light workload. Even someone my age can do it. So it should come as no surprise that I'm considering bringing back my daily political episode. I did my last one on Thursday, May 2, 1957. The day Joseph McCarthy FINALLY died. But now that we have someone even worse in Washington---I'm not going to mention any names (Hi, Donny!)---I think it's time to bring it back. There are just way too many people who still stupidly think that Donny (#Brokeahantus) is OK and Hillary is Satan incarnate. They are in a handbasket headed straight to Heck and until this morning, I was content in just letting them go but then I started praying on it. For about ten seconds---A lot of you think I have an advantage over you when it comes to praying because I'm a Saint and therefore have God's unlisted number, so I don't have to wait in line next to all you lowly common sinners. But it's not that good. Nine times out of ten, I just get Myrna, His secretary and just like this morning, she always says something really helpful like, "He's playing golf with Frank Sinatra. So just figure your problem out for yourself." Just then, my Spiritual Advisor, Sister Gidget Bertrille, walked in, so I asked her. She said, "Don't be angry. Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. And then educate them. If you can. Some people will remain willfully blind and then their Judgment is the Lord's. But not today. He's playing golf with Frank" I thanked her and then she said, "You left the toilet seat up again. You're going to Heck for that ((NOTE: I don't know who did that but it wasn't me! I always get blamed, though. Constant Witchhunts! Unfair!)). I also noticed that you ate the last piece of apple pie. If I weren't on a diet, you'd go to double Heck for that. But, if you take me surfing in Maui this week, I might be able to arrange some special dispensation and save your soul." So I guess I'm going to Maui for a few days. It'll be totally unnoticeable to you. It doesn't matter if I post my five daily segments...Well, six now, that I'm doing politics again...from here or a hotel room. It all looks the same on your end. Well, I could start doing my Daily Surf Report again, too. And I might just do that since I have so much free time.