My Mum came to NZ...
By Amanda
@amandajay (23264)
New Zealand
June 16, 2019 8:03pm CST
Saturday night my Mum arrived New Zealand. She's gonna stay with us for 3 months.
Last time she was here for 6 months but at the end, it was not so good. We had arguments on several things and she was angry with me sometimes. So when I'm applying for her visa this time, I applied only 3 months. If these three months goes well, I will apply for an extension. Otherwise it's so stressful for both of us.
What append last time was, she has met a lady in a shopping mall same from SriLanka and that lady was a cunning b....ch. She got friendly with my mum and managed to take money from my mum, when I got to know that, I asked her to meet me, but she refused and tried to create problems between my mum and me. So when I asked my mum to not to meet her, she argued with me telling, that I'm trying to control her. I was really pissed off and tried call that lady, but couldn't find her number. I was trying to explain my mum about that cunning lady, but she was not ready to listen...
I hope this time she will not meet that lady again. But I'm really worried about this...
11 people like this
12 responses
@allknowing (130067)
• India
17 Jun 19
If I were you I would never invite my mother again until she promised she would have nothing to do with that lady.
3 people like this
@allknowing (130067)
• India
17 Jun 19
@amandajay You need your peace and so you must put your foot down. For her surely you should come first. Just curious. Who is spending for her?
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
I have already told her, but I'm not sure about that because she is bit stubborn.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
@allknowing we pay on everything. yes surely i want peace of my mind... I don'y have time to spend on those stupid things,like spying on my mum...lol
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
18 Jun 19
yes you are right, she is really cunning and have already trapped my mum. I don't know why my mum can;t understand these people
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
18 Jun 19
@ShifaLk yeah she is not cunning like that lady, easily get trapped
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (17817)
• India
18 Jun 19
@amandajay maybe she's innocent and soft hearted
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
17 Jun 19
Oh no, that is not good. What was the money used for? Or what was your mom so willingly to give $? I hope all goes well.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
I was so busy with my studies at that time, so she took the advantage of that and invite my mum to her place and She was telling my mum that she can show her the beautiful places and she has asked for expenses... also have asked some things for her son, etc... my mum has given them money several times. Mum didn't tell me because she was believing her blindly, my aunt told me all these
2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
17 Jun 19
@amandajay That is not good. Are you finished with your studies and keeping tabs on your mother now when she's here? But for the most part, I believe New Zealand is safe area right?
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
@infatuatedbby yeah now i've finished my studies but working full time. yes Im keeping my eye on her. this is really safe, thing is she is from Srilanka, so how can I believe that lady,, she is cunning
1 person likes this
@smileyhema (4606)
• United States
17 Jun 19
It's really good to have our mother along with us, irrespective of the situations. I understand, last time was not that congenial for you both. But, don't worry,it should all be well this time.
Try to communicate with her on your thought process. She might be ignorant of the ill things happening. Once she get what you mean, she should be by your side.
Don't give her up :) they are precious souls.. I'm not a great person to give advice.. but just my few cents :)
1 person likes this
@smileyhema (4606)
• United States
18 Jun 19
@amandajay : yeah true.. she is trying to target your mom, as she is weak and she falls for people 
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
18 Jun 19
@smileyhema true,,, she thinks that lady is the best, even she likes her more than me sometimes
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
18 Jun 19
I know, I admire your thoughts. But I can;t understand what that lady trying to do.. it's horrible
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
21 Jun 19
@nela13 yeah I want to meet that lady and tell her not to involve in our family
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
20 Jun 19
yeah i was hoping the same, but got to know that she has invited that lady to my house when Im at work last friday... this is horrible
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
25 Jun 19
yeah,,, Ill see how it goes, I was about to extent her visa, but thought let her go after 3 months and then if we want we can get her again here
@rsa101 (37933)
• Philippines
26 Jun 19
Oh that is sad that some people take advantage of others kindness and it also caused a friction between the two of you. Well I guess you should give her the 3 months visa and see if she learned her lesson and trust you about that issue. I guess moms can sometimes be hardheaded and think that they are still knows what is best for them. When in another land it's really hard to really trust someone there no matter they are your country mate or not.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37933)
• Philippines
27 Jun 19
@amandajay I guess if she would be stubborn still then let her experience your point since it would just make you liok bad unless you have proven your point to her.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
28 Jun 19
@rsa101 true, I decided not to argue with her, both of us feel bad then
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
26 Jun 19
true, thing is she doesn't want to hear me... I told her several times not to believe those people. then she gets angry with me, but never stop talking to that lady
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
17 Jun 19
it's understandable to try to connect with people from your own country when you migrate or just visiting, but the reality is sometimes they do it for financial reasons because of the high cost of living. do you give your mother money or an allowance when she's visiting or does she use her own?
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
17 Jun 19
@amandajay is your mother still working (when she goes back to sri lanka) or retired? i have a feeling she's still quite young.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
@hereandthere she was working, but recently got retired. she is 60 now
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
we pay all her expenses like, food, traveling, clothes, etc...but she has also got money to spend. that lady got to know about my mum's money, she has taken my mum to her place and taken money several times.
1 person likes this
@psanasangma (5884)
• India
17 Jun 19
Hope, you will be able to understand your mother soon
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
18 Jun 19
I can understand my mum, but she doesn't understand that lady is upto something, that's the problem here
@RasmaSandra (73201)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
17 Jun 19
That is the worst when other people ruin relationships. Sure hope this time it will be better and you and your mom will have a great time together.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
Yeah I try to make everything comfortable here. for those 6 months before, I never allowed her to cook even a single meal. I did everything before I go to work and to uni when I was studying. But that lady came in between and ruined everything. hope this time it wont happen.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155469)
• United States
17 Jun 19
That's a real problem, especially if your Mother thinks that she's OK.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
17 Jun 19
Yeah my mum thinks she is better than me, and she has visited her place several times without telling me. Im not happy at all
2 people like this
