Everyone going out to dinner should have a say in where to go
By Lena Kovadlo
@lovebuglena (43074)
Staten Island, New York
July 8, 2019 11:44am CST
When it was Father's Day my brother wanted to go out and celebrate. Of course, he chose one of his favorite places to eat, which also happens to be a $$$$ restaurant. It was him and his family, his in-laws and brother-in-law, my parents, and hubby and I. As far as I can tell he paid the entire bill. Must have been very expensive.
He was the one that chose the place. No one else had a say in where we were gonna go. I wasn't happy about that. It is a very expensive place and not everyone can afford dining there. Not me. I was glad I didn't have to pay but this got me thinking...
If more than one couple or family are getting together for dinner somewhere shouldn't everyone have a say in where the dinner is gonna be? Why does one person get to decide on the place. It is not fair, especially if everyone has to pay part of the bill. Not every person can afford to spend a lot of money on dinner or even wants to for that matter. So everyone should have a say in the restaurant choice.
I remember when one of my cousins decided to throw a surprise birthday dinner for another one of our cousins. She was the one to choose the place and it was a very expensive one. We ended up splitting the bill and everyone also paid for the birthday girl. The bill per person came out to be about $209, which I had no choice but to pay. I didn't even eat that much worth of food. I was very upset about that. If I ever spent that much on dinner it was for hubby and I together, not for me alone. Had I known what I was in for I'd have probably declined the invitation and said I can't make it.
8 people like this
10 responses
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
20 Jul 19
That would be the nice thing to do.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
I had no idea that he was gonna pay for everything.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
8 Jul 19
I think it as you have a choice to attend or not. Even though it is Father's Day and you'd like to be present, if it's at an expensive place and you know you don't have the budget to afford it then I would politely decline/and not be apart of it. Then you can take your parents out on a different day for a Belated Father's Day.
However, your brother will probably ask why you won't be attending then you mention it's too expensive and at that moment, he would probably tell you to go because he's covering the bill - very generous of him to do so and I hope you all had a wonderful time.
As for a surprise birthday dinner, yes generally it's spilt bill including the birthday girl (sometimes even a present too). The person hosting can't pay for it on their own that would be way too expensive. Again, choice to attend or not for that too.
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
8 Jul 19
@lovebuglena Yes, but then again their not paying for your bills heheh. So if it's out of budget, may have to stay home. But I know that feeling - not nice to be excluded and if it's a spilt a bill type of ordeal then everyone should have a ra say / vote in where to eat. But then again, the vote could be in favor of the more expensive spot
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
Sometimes you really wanna go or feel bad about not going.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
I am assuming he paid the bill, unless my parents gave him something. I was in the bathroom when he was paying for the bill.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (458006)
• Switzerland
10 Jul 19
@lovebuglena Well, I am sorry but I disagree, if I invite I decide, of course I consider the taste of the others before choosing a restaurant. A friend wanted to thank us for a favor he invited us to a very high standing restaurant without asking. This is VERY NORMAL here in Europe.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Jul 19
@LadyDuck Before choosing a place you do have to consider other people and what they eat. Even if you are paying you have to make sure there is something that other people will be able to eat.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
9 Jul 19
That is the right thing to do. But even if you pay nothing wrong with asking others where they'd like to go.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156056)
• United States
8 Jul 19
If you are paying a share, then it should be a group decision.
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
The cousin's thing was not a shared decision but the bill was split among everyone.
.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
@LindaOHio That's not right.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156056)
• United States
8 Jul 19
@lovebuglena Well, to think of it, we just came upon a situation in which we are meeting my husband's cousins for dinner; and the one cousin chose the restaurant already; so that's the same situation. We had no say in it whatsoever.
@sophie09 (34246)
• Indonesia
10 Jul 19
@lovebuglena right? this thing is needed here in my place before we doing something together
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
9 Jul 19
209 is a huge bill, and it was not even a buffet where you could eat or at least sample as much food as you want.
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
9 Jul 19
A buffet would never charge that much per person. 
That would be insane and everything would have to be made of gold and diamonds.
That would be insane and everything would have to be made of gold and diamonds.1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
8 Jul 19
If it's clear up front one person is picking up the tab then go with it. Otherwise discussion is require.
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
I agree! I am all for going to expensive places but not so much for paying the bill there.
1 person likes this
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
8 Jul 19
I think if the person is choosing to pay, then they can choose the place because it is their money. But if it is for a person then they should choose or have someone else know what they like and they choose. But if the family is splitting the bill then yes it should be decided amongst everyone.
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
Good point. And it should be made known/decided up front if it's a split bill kind a thing or if one person is paying. Like I don't wanna go out to eat somewhere and it turns out it's a split bill and I can't afford that place we are going to.
@lovebuglena (43074)
• Staten Island, New York
8 Jul 19
A person is put in a bad position... what if he/she can't pay the amount they have to pay? Then what?
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203454)
• Nashville, Tennessee
8 Jul 19
@lovebuglena All you can do is all you can do in these situations.
1 person likes this
